The Wind Waker: In a Parallel Universe
by Jane O'Callaghan
Summary: Like the title says, this is the Wind Waker in a parallel universe, where Link is just a coward who wants to make money, his little sister is a world dominator wanna-be, and Tetra is... well, Tetra! Completed! Just updated to answer a few reviews.
1. Chapter 1

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker In a Parallel Universe

Chapter 1

The Adventure Begins

* * *

It was a bright and beautiful day on Outset Island, home of the dim-witted villagers that made up most of Link's friends and family. They spent most of their day doing the same thing, carrying pots around on their heads, chasing pigs, and cutting some annoyingly persistent grass that just never seemed to want to die. Fortunately, this story does not follow these people, but, instead, it follows the aforementioned Link, who was currently being woken up by his younger sister Aryll. He had been enjoying a nice afternoon nap in some sort of lighthouse thing (which wasn't really a lighthouse as it had no way of directing light anywhere along the coast, but the villagers felt like something had to be put there, and it was either a cool looking tower-like structure or a place to keep the creepy little kid who really needed a tissue; since the parents voted against the jail intended for their son, they built the tower), but of course, his sister had a knack for appearing when no one wanted her. If she hadn't been so darn cute looking the villagers would've voted her off the island years ago. 

" 'Hoy big brother!" Aryll said, but, since her talking skills were still very poor, all that came out was something that sounded like 'boy' in a very excited voice. 

"Go away." Link said, but as usual he was ignored.

"Ha!" she said (she meant to say 'Guess what today is!'). Fortunately, Link could translate what his sister meant to say (usually anyway). The only response he gave his sister though was the same thing he had said to her before, "Go away."

"You're still half asleep aren't you? It's your birthday!"

"Huh? No it's not…" Link said, and he was right. His birthday wasn't until two more months. 

"Grandma has been waiting at the house for a long time now." Aryll said, ignoring her brother just like the rest of the village tended to do.

"But I-"

"Get going slacker!" Aryll shouted. Link quickly made his way down the ladder, but in his haste to get away from his crazed sister he missed a rung and fell the rest of the way down, getting a good view of the dark wood below him as he fell flat on his face. "Ow.""Are you ok?" a small voice asked from somewhere above his head. Despite the voice's good intentions, however, Link recognized that voice. He sprang up and saw his fears confirmed as a small boy came into focus. Link leaped into the water and swam as fast as he could, screaming all the way about how that booger kid would never catch him. He reached the shore and ran towards a small cliff, hearing the little pitter-patter of the creepy kid's feet chasing after him, getting closer and closer. He climbed up the cliff just in time. The kid rammed into the cliff where Link had been just a few seconds before, his disgusting nose-dripping causing him to bounce back. A shadow passed over the small boy's face, "You may have gotten away this time, but you can't run forever Link! Muhahahaha!" he shouted after our protagonist before waddling off to annoy his brother. Meanwhile, Link was hiding in the long grass that was growing in a fenced in area. He was backing away as quietly as he could when he bumped into a rather tall man. " 'Hoy there Link. It's your birthday already eh?"

"…No it's not." Link said, wondering what was making everyone think that it was.

"Say Link, could you do me a favor? I'm trying to cut all this grass here (I could've sworn I cut it yesterday…). If you cut it for me that'd be great, you can keep whatever you find. You'll need a grass cutting tool though." the man said.

"Why can't I just borrow yours then?" Link asked.

"Well, when you find one, come back here will you!" the man said cheerfully and went back to persistently cutting away at one grass blade.

"Yeah, whatever." Link ran off then, figuring that the little kid had left by now, and continued on his way to see his grandmother and get this whole birthday thing straightened out. He began to cross the long bridge that crossed the gap between where the island was slightly separated, when halfway there he met the creepy kid's normal brother (who also happened to idolize Link, but this, of course, did not affect Link's opinion of him at all…). "Hey Link, is it true that if you run really fast towards those rocks you can jump on them?" he asked.

"I guess…" Link said, not really liking where this was going.

"Ah wow! You have to show me!"

"Actually I was kind of-"

"Show me!"

"Alright fine!"Link hopped around on the rocks for a little bit, trying to gather the rubies there, when a bunch of seagulls came out of nowhere and grabbed them before he could. "What's with the birds?" Link asked.

"Ahahahaha! I have total power over the seagulls!" Link could just make out the voice of his sister in the distance. 

"She scares me." Link said in a small voice before he made his way back to the little kid on the bridge. 

"Wow! You're amazing! I want to be just like you when I'm older!" the boy said.

"Yes, I know." Link said in a bored voice. "That'll take a while." he added in an observing tone as the boy went running off. Link continued his long trek to his house, admiring the sparkling blue ocean along the way. He stopped just in time before he walked right into yet another villager who was crouching low to the ground, mumbling something about bacon. "Link! I just saw a…a wild pig! There, right there! Do you see it!" The man asked excitedly.

"No." Link said in a voice that anyone with a brain would've translated into 'I don't care'. But, as you may remember reading earlier, these people don't have these strange things called brains. "Oh Link, my wife has been begging me for a pet recently, and this is the perfect thing!"

"Don't you think she'll take that as an insult? She's not exactly skinny, and she might think you're trying to hint that she looks like a pig; a person tends to get pets that resemble them after all." Link said in a philosophical voice.

"Could you catch it for me?" The man asked, pointedly ignoring the young boy. "You can't just run up to it, you have to crawl up to it…slowly… and then grab it! You could always distract it with bait I guess." he said.

"I'm not going to grab a stinky old pig!" Link said.

"My wife would be very happy to have a pet, she'd probably reward you…" the man said, trailing off in what he hoped was a mysterious manner. Link perked up when he heard this, "Money? I love money! All right I'll do it!" he said. After ten minutes of failed attempts at grabbing the little black pig, with the man shouting out advice the whole time, Link finally managed to seize it. "You shouldn't hold it like that." the man said when Link stood up in the long grass, the upset and squealing pig upside down and over Link's blonde head. "I know how to hold it!" Link said as he went over to the man. "Here!" he dropped the pig next to the guy, but all the sudden the man seemed intent on ignoring both Link and the pig. "Well? Take it already!" Link said as he grabbed the pig again before it could go running off. 

"Why Link, I just saw a…a wild pig!" the man said suddenly.

"Yeah, no kidding. Fine, I get your oh so subtle hint, I'll take it all the way to your house." Link said, and went stomping off, the poor little pig back in its upside down position. Link had almost reached the pig man's house, which already had a penned in area specially made for pigs (what a coincidence), when suddenly a voice called out to Link which made him startle and drop the pig. "Hey Link! L-target me and talk to me!" said the island's crazy old man from his balcony. 

"My money!" Link said, referring to the pig that was currently running back to the spot where it had been before. "You stupid old man! Look what you made me do!" Link shouted back at the man who had some sort of freakish mutation as a head. "Yes yes, that's it! You're very smart, that is L-targeting young man! Come on up, there's more I want to teach you!"

"Oh I'll come up alright, I've got a few things to say to you, freak!" Link said, marching angrily towards the ladder that led up to the old man's room. Link entered the small area, which was filled with books and papers that were scattered around in neat little piles. The old man came in, sealing the large glass door that led to the balcony so no one else could ever go through them again, and gave a friendly chuckle. "My my, it's your birthday already? Well, from now on you are going to have to study study study!" he said, ignoring Link's protests that it wasn't his birthday yet. Suddenly a loud thud shook the house, causing the shelves to collapse along with whatever had been on them. The old man's freakishly mutated head suddenly turned a strange red color and started to smoke as he banged on the floor with his large staff. "Such a racket! Can't you keep quiet you rotten hooligan!" he shouted at the floor, causing Link to panic and hide behind one of the stacks of books. The man suddenly calmed down and his head returned to its normal color. "Honestly, that hooligan I am referring to is my younger brother who lives downstairs. All he does all day is practice his fighting skills, like that will ever do any good." he said as Link climbed out from his hiding place and tried to act as if nothing had happened. "He never studies, the brain is a muscle to! …I think." he then went rambling on about how Link should read some boring papers to help him learn, ignoring the boy's attempts to explain that the brain was actually an organ. "Pipe down! I'm talking! Now read those papers!" the man said finally. 

"Never! I want money!" Link said, and went running out, slamming the door behind him, which made the shelves (which had miraculously fixed both themselves and the items they had held) collapse yet again. Link jumped down, ignoring the ladder, and scanned the area for his pig. "Great, now it's gone. I need to know how to fight so that I can teach the freak a lesson!" Link said happily as he entered the bottom level of the freak's house where the 'hooligan' lived. "Orca, I want to learn how to fight!" Link announced as he entered, letting the door slam behind him. Orca was the only person who actually seemed to have a name besides Link and his sister. At least, it was the only one Link knew, despite the fact that he had lived on Outset his whole life. "Ohhhh, Link, it is your birthday already? When did you get so old?" the scarily skinny man asked. "I need to learn how to fight!" Link said again, even louder this time incase the man was hard of hearing.

"From now on, you will have to exercise and get super strong! You came at just the right time, I was just practicing my roll attack. Why don't you try? Just roll towards the wall and hit it with your head." 

"That sounds painful… but I'll do it!" Link said, and did what Orca had told him to do. A few seconds later the freak upstairs was shouting down at them to keep it down and that they had knocked everything off of his walls. "My brother is very high strung, he locks himself in his room for hours and just reads." Orca said, and began to ramble on in a manner similar to his brother about how the two hardly ever got along. But Link wasn't listening, instead he was trying to figure out how rolling around would actually help him in combat. Deciding in the end that it wouldn't, the pajama donned boy exited the house, paying no heed to the old man and his one sided conversation. A few minutes later and he was making his way back to the pig man's house, the little black pig back in his hands. He stomped over to the fence and threw it in before talking to the large woman standing nearby. "Oh Link! Did you bring me that little piggy over for me? The boys will be so excited! Here, here's a reward for being so thoughtful." she said."Yeah whatever, just hand it over." Link said. A few seconds later and he had a bright red rupee in his hands. "Yes!"

"You know, now that I think about it, I wouldn't mind having even more of these little guys!" the woman said.

"Will you pay me?" Link asked rudely.

"Sure, why not."

"Then you just found yourself a pet hunter! I'll be back!"

…five hours later…

Link threw the last of the pigs on the island into the fence along with the other six he had caught. "That should be all of them!" Link said. "Now, you haven't paid me for the other three, and there's this one that I caught just now, so you owe me eighty rupees! Pay up!" Link said.

"But I don't have any more money, I just thought you were being nice and didn't want any more money." the woman said, a frown on her face.

"No money, no pigs!" Link said, grabbing the four that hadn't been paid for and tossing into the ocean down below.

"Well, I suppose three is enough. I guess I better start finding names for these little oinky woinkes!" the woman said.

"Yeah, whatever." Link said, and with that set off to finally talk to his grandmother. 

"Oh Link!" said a cheerful voice. Link turned and saw that the voice belonged to the young woman who was always carrying pots on her head for some reason (she also had some sort of relation to the big-headed freak, but Link forgot what it was). "What do you want?" Link asked. The two never really got along ever since Link had broken one of the pots she liked to carry around. He had been curious to see what was in them. It had turned out to be empty, but the woman had made Link pay for the damage anyway. "I was talking to your sister the other day, and she said she wanted to learn how to carry pots too! If you see her, could you tell her that all she has to do is walk up to one, pick it up, and then place it on her head? And if she wants to put it down, just set it down! Thanks Link!" the woman said and walked off.

"That's sort of obvious…" Link mumbled as he finally reached the house where his ever patient grandmother was waiting. "Oy, Granny, why did you tell everyone it was my birthday?" Link shouted as he closed the door behind him and fully entered the quaint little house. He sighed when he realized that his grandmother must have gone up to the second floor. It took her forever to climb the ladder (almost all day) and there wasn't even anything up there. He had no idea why she insisted on going up there all the time. She always needed help getting down, and so, of course, she had Link help her. Then he had to pick her up and throw her down and it was just a waste of his precious money making seconds. Before he climbed up he decided to get back at her for causing him so much trouble. He jumped up on the small counter table thing and ran around, causing all the dishes to fall and shatter on the floor. "Muhahahaha!" Link cackled happily as he climbed the ladder. 

"Link! There you are!" his smiling grandmother said. "I've been waiting a long time. I can't believe it's your birthday today." she said while Link pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Link, try these on!" she said, pulling out a set of green clothes from her giant pocket. 

"No way! They're ugly!" Link protested as he grabbed them and swung them around in the air to get a better look at them. 

"Now try them on and then Grandma will make you some of your favorite soup, yum!"

"I do like soup… well, I guess wearing these for one day won't hurt." Link said as he slipped into them.

"Look at that! A perfect fit!" his grandmother said happily.

"Can I have soup now?" Link asked.

"No. I have to invite all the villagers over for your party first. Now go find your sister and then come straight back home!"

"Can I have that?" Link asked in a spoiled voice as he pointed towards an old shield on the wall. 

His grandmother stared at him, "No."

"But I want it!"

"Go get you sister!"

"Oh fine!" Link stomped out of the house and was about to make his way all the way back to the lighthouse when he stopped, an evil grin spreading over his young face. "I'll show her! I'll steal all of her money!" Link said as he began to crawl under the large porch. A few seconds later and he was entering the basement via a small hole in the wall and grabbing their whole savings that his grandmother had been saving for food. "One hundred rupees! Muhahaha!" After Link finished robbing his parental unit, he marched happily back across the small island. He made it back without anyone stopping him, and he cautiously approached his sister, who was surrounded by her pet seagulls. "Ah! 'Hoy there Link! Wow, those clothes look like they're really warm… I guess they're still neat though." she said as her seagulls flew off, startled by Link's sudden appearance. "Granny wants you back at the house." Link said and was about to leave, mission completed, when Aryll stopped him. "Wait! I've got a present for you! Hold out your hand!"Link did so and he was soon holding his sister's most prized possession. "It's a telescope!" Aryll said.

"No it's not, it's a spyglass! How many times do I have to tell you?" Link said.

"Hey Link, why don't you try it out?"

"I don't want to, that's why."

"Try it!" Aryll shouted at him.

"Ok, fine." he said as he put the 'telescope' to his eye and directed it towards his house. "Hey, there's money up there!" Link said excitedly.

"Hey Link, are you looking at the red post box?" his sister asked.

"Why would I want to look at that?" Link asked in a condescending tone.

"Hey Link, are you looking at the red post box?" Aryll asked again. 

"Fine, I'll look at the stupid post box." Link said and pointed his gaze towards the discussed object. 

"Hey Link, are you zooming in, because you should be." Aryll said in an almost threatening voice. 

"Yep, I'm zooming in right now." Link said quickly.

"That mail delivery guy looks weird, doesn't he?" Aryll asked just as Link saw a strange bird thing drop a few letters into the post box. 

"Hey, how do you know what he looks like?" Link asked, pulling away from the spyglass to look at his sister. She was using another spyglass, which looked just like the one she had given him. "I've got backups." she said. "Ah! Link, look up at the sky!" she shouted suddenly. Link went back to his own spyglass and quickly pointed it up. Right there, flying through the thin clouds, was the largest bird Link had ever seen. "That must be the package delivery guy!" Link deduced, right before Aryll gave him a hard slap on his arm. Suddenly a large cannonball went whizzing past the bird, nearly hitting it. "Oh my gosh! The pirates are trying to steal our packages!" Link shouted, dropping the spyglass in his alarm and causing it to break. "Oops."

"Oh here, take this one." Aryll said in a disgusted tone as she handed him her backup spyglass. Link put the piece over his eye and watched as the bird appeared to be trying to catch the next cannonball in its beak. It failed miserably though and dropped something that it had been holding (which Link hadn't noticed before), before falling towards the ocean. The thing turned out to be a person, a young girl in fact, who looked no older than Link. He watched as she fell into the forest that was farther inland. "Oh Link, this is horrible. That girl needs help, but there are monsters in the forest, how are you going to help her?" Aryll asked as Link tried to balance her last spyglass on the tip of his finger. "Whoa, what? Who said I was going to save her?" Link said, the panic visible on his face. 

"I did! Now go find a weapon and some training, and then get your lazy self over to that forest!" Aryll said, pushing Link (she had incredible strength for someone her age) off of the tower so he fell quite hard on the wood for the second time that day. Link trudged miserably back to the freak's and Orca's house, bumping into the pot carrying woman along the way. "Oh Link, what was that horrible sound? Did something happen? If some monster tries to attack me, know what I'd do? I'd throw rocks at them! Just pick some rocks up and toss them. You can handle that, can't you?" she said in a worried and concerned voice. 

"I know how to throw rocks!" Link shouted as he entered Orca's part of the house and quickly closed the door behind him before the woman decided to follow him and offer more obvious advice. "Orca, there's this girl who fell into the forest and for some reason I'm the only one who can do anything about it so I need you to teach me how to fight… for real this time if you please! None of this stupid rolling around stuff!" Link said. 

"Ohhhhh Link, what has happened, you have some urgent look about you." Orca said.

"I just told you what happened!"

"Well, whatever it is, perhaps you will require some fighting skills? What say you Link? Would you like some serious instruction in swordplay?"

"Nah, I'm good, just hand over the sword." Link said, stretching out his arm in front of him. 

"Very well then, let the training commence!" Orca shouted.

"Wha…? I already told you, I am Link, your future world dominator! Just hand over the darn sword, I know how to use it!"

Orca shrugged, "Ok then." he said in an annoyingly mysterious voice.

"Ahha! Now I have complete power! None can stop me!" Link said, grabbing the small sword eagerly and holding it above his head in a way similar to how he had held the pigs. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." Orca said, referring to how the sword was being held.

"Silence old fool!" Link said, but before he could say anything else the sword slipped from his hands and would've hit his head had Orca not been there to grab it. "Well, maybe a brief introduction wouldn't hurt…" Link mumbled. 

…one hour later…

Link finally passed the 'brief' introduction, which had been surprisingly tricky, especially the forward thrust thing… "I do not know what has happened Link, but I trust you enough to give you this sword. Treat it well." Orca said.

"Yeah, whatever." Link said as he left the house and ran towards the forest. He ran up the path that spiraled up the tall mountain where the forest resided, only to be blocked by a wall of small trees. His sister was also there, her arms crossed and one of her small feet tapping impatiently on the ground. "What took you so long?" she asked. "Well it doesn't matter, you have to get past these trees somehow." 

"Gee, that'll be hard." Link said, however the sarcasm was lost on his sister.

"Use your sword to cut them down already!" she said in a frustrated voice.

"Yes, I could do that, oh but wait! I've got another idea, it might just work…" Link said and he slid calmly between two of the trees. "Well what do you know? It worked!" Link said as his sister glared at him from the other side of the trees. "You're doing it all wrong!" she shouted at him before stomping off back to the village. Link shrugged and then cautiously made his way to the bridge that led over a steep ravine and to the forest. "Well, here goes nothing." Link said as he stepped onto the bridge. "Oh no! There's some missing boards here!" Link said. And sure enough there was a small hole, easily jumpable, set in the swinging bridge. "Guess I'll just go home." Link happily turned around and was about to do just what he had said when suddenly he heard the small pitter patter of little feet coming up the path. "Booger kid! Nooooo!" Link shouted and turned around, ran over the bridge, and entered the forest without a second thought. Booger kid (I don't know his real name…) watched Link before a dark shadow passed over his face. "You may have escaped this time, but you can't stay in the forest forever! Muhahahaha!"

Inside the forest Link nearly ran into a weird looking pig monster thing with an umbrella stick as a weapon. "What's with the umbrella?" Link asked.

"It's not an umbrella! Why does everyone ask me that!" The monster asked, and went running off in tears. 

"Strange fellow." Link said thoughtfully as he made his way deeper into the forest. He finally made it to the area where the girl was; she was hanging unconscious on a tree branch that looked like it was about to break any minute now. Despite Link's curiosity to see if someone could survive a fall from that height, he decided to help her out and try to get her down. Before he could take two steps though two more weird looking monsters were dropped right in front of him by a pair of colorful birds. "You the one who insulted our friend by calling his weapon an umbrella stick?" one of them asked in a gruff voice. 

"Um…no?" Link said hesitantly.

"Oh, but he said you did."

"Then your friend is a rotten liar!" Link shouted.

"You're right! We'll get him!" the two pointed their 'weapons' to the sky and (wouldn't you know it) pressed a button, revealing that they really were umbrellas after all. "You'll never catch us!" they said as they floated back up.

At this point the girl woke up and started to bounce around on the tree branch she was hanging on. "Wheeee!" she said, but her fun didn't last long as the branch finally gave way and she fell to the ground with a thud. Link ran up to her, mainly to see if she was dead and whether or not she had any rupees on her. The girl stood up and scanned Link and his choice of apparel. "Ewwww, those are so ugly!" she said. But before Link could agree with her a big stupid looking man, whose upper body was huge compared to his legs, came into sight, "Miss Tetra!" he shouted, and while he said this he ran in place. Apparently he couldn't talk and actually move at the same time. "Miss Tetra, thank goodness you're alright. We thought you might have been dead when this bird dropped you on the summit." he said when he finally reached them.

"Summit eh? This bird dropped me on a mountain. Well then let's go, time to repay our debt to that bird in full!" she said. "No really, we kind of owe him fifty rupees for delivering our pizza, in less than thirty minutes too!" she said and went running off.

"But Miss, what about this boy and his ugly clothes?"

"Don't worry about him, let's go!" Link decided that there might be a reward in saving her (even though he hadn't really done anything), so he followed the two out of the forest only to be met by his sister, who was on the other side of the bridge. "Link, I have finally used my seagulls to take over the world, I totally beat you!" she said, waving happily. Link and his new found 'friends' were too far away to hear what she had said however, and Link simply waved back nervously. Suddenly the large bird came out of nowhere and started to swoop towards his sister, who was making her way across the bridge, getting ready to hand Link his new orders as one of her minions. Link gave out a small scream when the bird grabbed her and began to fly away with a loud screech, "Noooo! Now Granny will be too worried about her! I won't get my soup!" he said, horrified. "Aren't you going to try and save her?" Tetra asked angrily.

"How? I'd be stupid to try and jump off the cliff, and besides-" but before he could finish Tetra shoved him off of the cliff and then grabbed his arm. 

"No stupid kid! She's gone, there's nothing you can do!" she said dramatically.

"Wha…? What is wrong with you?" 

After awhile the three headed back to the village, where the large pirate ship was waiting. "How many times do I have to tell them? The ship can't go close to the shore!" Tetra said, and went running off, screaming at the crew that her ship wasn't a little fishing boat. Link followed, since he had nothing better to do. A few minutes later Tetra had everything settled and then she turned to Link. "What? You want to come on my ship?" she said suddenly. 

"What? Um…no." Link said, looking behind him to make sure there was no one there that she might have been talking to. 

"Do you know who we are? We're pirates! You know, terror of the seas! I can't have some kid running around!" she said.

"Um, ok. You're absolutely right!" Link said, trying to play along with the crazed captain.

"And how do you figure that?" A voice said mysteriously.The small group turned to see the postal service worker (the weird bird man) standing there, his wings folded in front of him. "Hey, where do you get off butting into other people's conversations?" the big stupid pirate asked, doing a weird dance thing. 

"Yeah, stupid mail man! Shut up!" Link hissed at the bird. 

"Now please be quiet and let me finish." the bird said, and then went into this big, long,boring story about how young girls with long ears were being kidnapped and that it was Tetra's fault that Aryll was taken. When he said this Link clapped quietly for her, but everyone ignored him. "So, you should take Link with you to the Forsaken Fortress." the mail carrier concluded, much to the relief of the others. 

"Hmph, you don't have to tell me that!" Tetra said. "Even if I was to bring you, the Forsaken Fortress is really scary and big. You'll need a shield or something."

"But I don't even want to go!" Link protested.

"I don't care, go find a shield, say goodbye to your family and friends so you don't get all homesick and weepy, and then get on the stupid ship!" Tetra scolded.

"Fine." Link trudged off dejectedly, looking back at the group every once in a while with an angry expression on his face, the kind three year olds get when they don't get their way. He decided that he would say goodbye to everyone first and then go get the shield, that way he had a chance that his grandmother would finish the soup before he left. "I came to say goodbye so that I don't get all homesick and weepy." Link said to the grass cutting man. 

"Hey Link, I'll even let you keep whatever you find if you cut my grass for me." the grass cutting man said. 

"Really? Sweet!" Link said, and pulled his sword out before swinging it around, nearly hurting himself several times. All he got for his efforts though was a few green rupees here and there. "There, done." Link said, panting. "Now, goodbye." 

"People drop the strangest things sometimes, so cutting the grass isn't a thankless job!" the man said. 

Link stared at him, "…Ok then. See you later." he said and quickly walked away. His next stop was with the freak and Orca. He went to Orca first. "I came to say goodbye so I don't get all homesick and weepy." Link said cheerfully.

"Ohhhhh Link, are you here for some more training with the sword?"

"Um, no. I came to say goodbye!" Link said, pronouncing every thing very clearly.

"Then let the training commence!" Orca shouted.

"Oh whatever." Link said and left the house, leaving Orca to battle one of his many pots. Link entered the freak's room next. "I came to say goodbye so I… oh forget it." he said when the freak began to start talking about his organizational issues. He went back on the dirt path outside that led to the different houses and was about to start heading to his grandmother's house when he spotted pig man and his two kids: the normal one and the one that needed a tissue. "I came to say goodbye, I might die you know." Link said when he was within their hearing range. "Hey Link, are you going somewhere?" asked the normal kid. 

"Don't go!" said the… other kid.

"Link! I just saw a… a wild pig!"

…ten minutes later…

"Granny! I'm off to save the world so that I can take over it later! Got any soup?" Link shouted as soon as he entered his home. It had taken awhile to extricate himself from the three pig lovers, and then he had had to say farewell to the pig lady, which hadn't really taken long. Then there was the pot lady, but all she had said was: "If something tries to attack you, just pick up a rock and throw it at him! You can handle that, can't you?" 

"Link, is something wrong? Tell Grandmamma what happened." his grandmother said anxiously.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll take that as a no. I wanted soup!" Link said, stomping his foot on the floor. His grandmother had somehow made it down from the second floor on her own, so Link couldn't break any more of her dishes without getting into trouble. Sulkily, Link climbed the ladder to grab the shield. "It's gone!" he shouted when he saw the empty wall where the wooden shield used to hang. "Grandma must have stolen it! I'm never talking to her again!" he said and angrily began to stomp down the ladder. However his stomping put too much force on the thin wooden beams and he fell through the rest of the way. "Ow, stupid ladder! Grandma? You've got the shield! How did you manage that, it's too high up for you!" 

"Link, is this what you are looking for?" his grandmother asked, ignoring her grandson. She pulled it out from behind her and showed it to him. Link simply wore this dumb expression on his face as he tried to figure out how she had gotten it down from the wall on her own. "Take it with you Link." she said.

"Yes! It's all mine!" Link said, waving it around in the air to show it off. "Now nothing can stop me! Muhahaha- ow! Splinter! Mommy!" Link started to cry at this point and it took awhile for his grandmother to calm him down. "Now, where was I? Oh yes! Muhahahahahahahaha!" he said after he had finally stopped his whining. 

"Why would someone kidnap such a sweet little girl?" his grandmother asked, ignoring Link's cackling and beginning to cry herself. 

"Well I don't know about your choice of adjectives… she's not really sweet…" Link said. "Ack! Sorry, stop crying!" Link said as his grandmother began to cry even louder. Finally Link couldn't take it anymore. "Ahha! Take this!" Link said, hitting the old lady on the head with his shield, causing her to enter the land of unconsciousness. "Now, onwards to victory!" Link shouted, and left the house without a second thought. On his way out he stopped. A small boat was drifting near the shore, bobbing along with the small waves. "Hmm, I wonder whose boat this is?" Link asked no one in particular as he entered the ocean in order to reach the boat, whose main floatation device seemed to be two large barrels tied to each side. Not exactly safe for open waters. He entered the boat and saw a strange little man sitting behind a lowdown counter, different items scattered along this surface. "Oooooo, a customer!" the man said. "I am Beedle, from Beedle's shop ship… or is it ship shop? Or maybe ship shape ship shop! Anyway, buy something! Buy buy buy!" 

"Ok…" Link said as he gazed at the items. "Oh hey look! A pear! I want it!"

"You can't hold that yet, you need a bait bag. Lucky for you, I've got one!" The man said and pointed towards a small pink bag with a face of a pig on it (not a real pig mind you). 

"Ewww, it's ugly! I just want the pear."

"You need the bag first."

"But I'm just going to eat it right away!"

"Just buy the stupid bag!"

"Alright fine!" So Link bought the bag (with the money he had stolen from his grandmother), and then was about to buy the pear when suddenly the man got all excited. "Oooooo, thank you! I'm going to give you a point card thingy. If you collect thirty points, you will get something good! You can get points anywhere in Beedle's ship shape shop ship!"

"Yeah, whatever. Can I have my pear now?"

"Sure!" (Link bought the pear) "Thank you! Now you have two points! Buy more stuff to get more points!"

"Finally! I'm hungry!" Link was about to eat his pear but the man stopped him.

"No food or drink in here." he said, pointing to a partially hidden sign.

"Oh fine!" Link marched outside and swam back to shore. He then pulled the pear out of his new bait bag and was about to eat it when he got the inexplicable urge to place the pear on his head. He did just that, and suddenly a large seagull came and grabbed it, neatly swallowing it in one gulp. "Darn! Now I need another one!" Link said and turned around to go back to the ship shop. But the ship was gone, a small sign was in its place: Gone for lunch, back in three weeks. "Nooooo!" Link shouted, shaking his fist angrily at the bird that had stolen his lunch. Link walked back to where the pirates and the annoying mail carrier were waiting. "Took you long enough!" Tetra said grumpily. "We've been waiting for three hours now! Wow, that's a decrepit looking shield, are you sure it won't break? Are you going to get splinters and cry?"

"I don't know anything about that!" Link snapped at her. "Can we just go now?"

"Well hold on, we need to load the ship with fresh supplies!"

"How long will that take?"

"About three hours."

"…Why didn't you do it while I was gone? We could be leaving by now!"

"Well excuse us! Just for that, you're doing it on your own! That'll take you at least the rest of the day, so hah!" And with that Tetra and the rest of her crew left the shore and returned to the large ship that seemed to be drifting away from the island."Link, I'm very sorry for all this," the mail man/bird began, ignoring Link's grumblings that he should be. "if you ever need help, come to my island. My people would be glad to offer you any aid." 

"You mean there's more of you?" Link asked, dropping a large barrel of fresh water in surprise. 

"Um…yes?" the bird said hesitantly. 

"Stupid bird people… this is all your fault! I could be enjoying soup right about now but noooo! Somebody actually thought I liked my scary sister and that I wanted to go rescue her! She's probably already found a way to escape by now anyway." Link grumbled irritably.

…Meanwhile, in the Forsaken Fortress…

"Ahhahahaha! I have complete control over the seagulls!" Aryll cackled as her fellow prisoners cowered in a corner. The large birds were circling the room, attacking anyone who dared to move. "Um, excuse me, but can't you use your powers to save us?" asked one of the girls. 

"Never! I need to talk to the guy who's in charge first. I want to make a deal with him! You losers are on your own! Ahahahaha!" Aryll said happily. "In the mean time… who wants to hear embarrassing stories about my stupid brother?"

…Back on Outset Island…

Link was finally finished with the supplies and so the pirates were able to set off to find the giant fortress. The entire village was gathered near the shore to say their final farewells, except for Link's grandmother who had climbed up to the second floor of her house and was once again stuck. They all waved and shouted out advice, all except for the creepy little kid, who was muttering to himself, "You may have escaped this time Link, but you can't stay on the ocean forever, you have to land eventually! And when you do, I'll be waiting! Muhahahahaha!"

Link waved back at them until Tetra finally got bored. "Link, I can't have you in the way, so go talk to Niko or whatever his name is. He's down below." she said, shoving Link towards the door that led to the lower deck. "But I want ice cream!" Link whined.

"Get moving slacker!"

"Ok fine!" Link slammed the door behind him, causing the big stupid pirate (whose upper body was gigantic compared to his legs) to startle and fall overboard. None of the other pirates noticed this until a few hours later, and then they had to go all the way back. All this was unbeknownst to Link as he approached a pirate who was blocking the entrance to a large room. "Uhhhh, you can't come in here, this is Miss Tetra's room!" the pirate said.

"Are you Niko?"

"Want to know why we all treat Tetra with such respect?"

"Not really…"

"Well, she may look young, but she's actually thirty-five! Har har har! That's a joke shrimpy!"

"…"

"She took on a lot when our last captain left. We really respect her for that."

"That's great." Link said in a voice that said he didn't care at all. "Now where's Niko?"

"Oh he's down there." the pirate said, pointing down a small flight of stairs. 

"Hey there shrimpy!" said Niko when Link appeared. He was very short, something Link proved to him continuously by bonking the pirate on the head every now and then with his shield. "So, I'm going to give you a test that all new pirates have to take! You have to swing on those lanterns from platform to platform until you reach that room over there!" Niko said, as he showed Link how to do it and landed next to the mentioned room. "So, if you aren't fast enough the platforms will fall after a while. This will probably take you a whole year to accomplish, one rough year, one tough year, full of bruises and-"

"Done!" Link announced, landing next to the small man.

"What? Already! Well fine, but you can't have the treasure!" Niko began to cackle maniacally, but Link pushed past him and pulled the chest that was there, open. 

"Another bag! Aw man, I wanted something that was actually useful!" Link said, stuffing his new purple spoils bag into his giant pocket. Suddenly Tetra's voice drifted over to them from above, " 'Oy Link, get your lazy bum up here, we've reached the Fortress!" 

"Already, but I've got so much more stuff to teach you!" Niko protested.

"Yeah whatever little guy, see you!" Link said and ran back outside. "Oh my gosh! That stupid test really did take me a year!" Link shouted. It had been early morning when he had joined Niko, and now it was nearing midnight. "Keep your voice down!" Tetra shouted back at him from the crow's nest thing. "Get up here!"

"Ok." Link said and climbed the ladder up for what felt like hours. "I made it!" Link announced when he finally reached the top. 

"Good for you." Tetra said grumpily. "What were you and Niko doing anyway?" she asked. "Don't tell me you were playing some stupid game." she said at the same time that Link said that he had been playing a stupid game. "For treasure!" he added happily.

"Treasure eh? Well whatever. Take a look at the Forsaken Fortress. We'll never get past all those spot lights."

"How do you know? Did you try?" Link asked.

"As a matter of fact, we did!" Tetra said cheerfully, pointing towards two pirates who were being arrested for trying to swim in."Hey, look at all those seagulls! I'll bet that's where your sister is!" she said, while Link made a mental note to _not_ go towards that window. "This is not good, how are we going to get in?" Tetra said, then she suddenly got an idea. "I've got an idea!" she said. 

The pirates loaded Link into a barrel and placed this barrel onto one of their catapults. For some reason, though, Link didn't even notice what they were doing until they were just about to launch him. "Don't worry, we do this all the time!" Tetra reassured him while he tried to struggle out of the large barrel. 

"Hup, come on, come on, hup!" Link began to say, over and over again. 

The pirates stared at him while he did this until finally Tetra spoke up: "Oh just launch him already, it'll shut him up!" And sure enough it did. Link began to scream when he realized that he was heading towards the room where his scary sister was being held. But, fortunately, he just missed it. He hit the wall (rather hard) instead; and his sword went flying out of his pocket and landed, conveniently enough, next to the door that led to the jail. "Great, now I have to head there to get my sword back!" Link said after he had landed in the water below. He was headed towards some stairs when suddenly he felt a strange vibration in his pocket. He reached in and pulled out a small glowing stone. "Ooooo it's so pretty! My precious!" Link said, gazing at the pretty blue color.

"Link, stop talking like that, it's creepy." Tetra's voice emanated from the stone. "So, looks like you have some walking to do, just don't get caught by the guards."

"Noooo, the stone talks, and it sounds like someone I used to know…" Link said thoughtfully. "Bleh, I don't really like it anymore." And with a small shrug he tossed it into the water, just as Tetra was telling him not to lose the stone. "Oops."

* * *

/So? Did anyone like it? Was it horrible? This is my first attempt at a longer story so it might take awhile between chapters... I'm going to try to get one up at least once a week. Also, I haven't read all of the other fanfiction stories out there, so if I've accidently copied some one else's joke, and it's bothering that person, just let me know and I'll be happy to change it. :-)


	2. Chapter 2

// So, I noticed that other people have been putting disclaimers in their stories, so I guess I should do the same! Disclaimer: I don't own anything, it's all my brother's fault! (starts to cackle maniacally) There, now for the next chapter, and thank you all for the reviews! :-D Thanks also to The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule for giving me the name of the booger kid 

* * *

Chapter 2

Windfall Island and the Bird People Tribe

"Ok Link, what's your plan?" Tetra asked through her now wetstone. It had taken Link five hours to fish the thing out of the water, he was soaking wet and freezing, and Tetra still insisted that he keep moving. "You need to take out those spotlights before you can even try to get up to where your sister is."

"Yeah, I'm not doing that. That's too much work." Link said as he sidled his way along the wall to avoid a spotlight. 

"Then what are you going to do?" Tetra asked in an annoyed voice. 

"Watch and learn my friend!" Link said happily as he neared the place where his sword was, without having been caught once (miraculously enough). "Ok, three…two…"

"Link, what are you doing?"

"One! Go go go!" Link shouted as he very slowly crept along the cliff edge. 

"Oh yeah, you're going all right. Oh now look, they see you."

"No they don't."

"Yes, they do. Why else would all the spotlights be on you? And now they're shooting at you." Tetra said smugly. Link gave a high pitched scream and leaped across the remaining distance, just reaching the safety of the platform. "Here I am!" Link announced proudly, jumping up and down. But unfortunately there was a big guard, who looked suspiciously like a lizard, there. He had been sleeping, but Link's announcement had woken him up, and lizards don't really like to be woken up for anything. He pressed a button and spikes came from the floor and blocked the way back. Link gave another scream before he started to roll around, confusing the guard. "Uh, what are you doing?" Tetra asked.

"I'm trying to come up with a plan!" Link said, right before he rolled over something hard and very sharp. "Oh hey look, my sword!" Link said, waving it in the air to show it off."Well use it!" Tetra said as the lizard finally decided it was tired of watching Link roll around and that he would just kill him. Link covered his eyes with one arm and used his other one to swing his sword around wildly. After a while the lizard got tired of this as well and he decided that it just wasn't worth it. "Oh just go already!" The lizard shouted. He unbolted the door and went running off, much to the excitement of Link. "Ahha! I sure showed him!" Link said happily; Tetra just sighed. Without realizing that his sister was in the next room, Link pushed the large door open and slipped inside. He understood his mistake a few seconds later though, when the shrill voice of Aryll reached his ears. "There you are! What took you so long? I want to take over the world and the guy here won't even talk to me!" she shouted at him. Link sighed resignedly and walked over to the large prison. "Hey everyone! I'm Link, hero, and then future dominator, of the world!" Link said to the others in the room.

"Wait, are you _the_ Link?" one girl asked. 

Link, not realizing that his sister had told only made up stories of him, grinned. "Why yes! I am!" he was shocked a few seconds later when everyone else started to burst into laughter. "You were right about him Aryll!" one of them said.

"What? Oh whatever." Link said sadly. "How do I get you guys out of here?"

"Try the door." Aryll said crossly. Link grumbled to himself as he marched over to the door and began fiddling with the knob. 

"It's not working." Link said matter-of-factly.

"He _is_ stupid!" the other girl said (there were three of them, including Aryll).

"Yes, yes he is." Tetra said through her stone.

"Alright that's it! I'm leaving! And you can stay here too!" Link said, tossing the stone inside the jail. He began to walk back when suddenly the large bird that he had seen before came out of nowhere and landed on top of him. "Ow. Excuse me!" Link shouted, his voice slightly muffled from being under one of the large talons. The bird picked up its foot curiously; it hadn't noticed the strange little green guy before. It gave an angry screech, picked Link up, and went flying off. Aryll was shouting after them that she wanted to talk to the bird's leader, but her speech problems came back and all the bird heard was 'boy!' being shouted several times. Link, who had the unfortunate pleasure of being held in the giant bird's beak, continually tried to make the bird drop him by hitting it with his shiny sword. But the bird, hardly feeling anything, flew him up to see its leader. Which annoyed Aryll greatly; how did she know what was going on when she was stuck in jail? No one knows… Link, beginning to feel tired, paused in his efforts to escape just in time to see a large, dark man with red hair. He was about to say something to Link when a fly suddenly landed on his face. Of course, a person can't talk with an insect on his face, anyone listening would be distracted by it. So the man gave a short jerk of his head to get it off. The fly took off, but the bird misinterpreted his movement and, thinking that the man wanted him to get rid of the intruder, tossed Link into the ocean, much to the dismay of the man, who had had a speech all planned out and everything. Link, who was quite light, was flying through the air for quite awhile until he finally landed with a large splash into the deep ocean. Link was used to being thrown in the ocean though (his sister had done it quite often to him when they had been younger), and he instantly went into a floating position and fell asleep, thinking that the pirates would find him eventually (he had forgotten that he had thrown away the stone, so the only thing the pirates could see was Aryll scaring the other prisoners, and so they had no idea where he was). Fortunately there was someone else floating around in the water, and so Link was rescued after all. 

_Un_fortunately, Link's rescuer liked to talk, and so Link didn't really get to sleep that much. He was awakened by someone with a deep voice, but when he looked around there was no one there. He was in a small red boat, and the boat was floating around in some sort of cove. "Awake yet?" said the voice, and suddenly the boat's head, which was shaped as a dragon's head, turned to face him. Link fell backwards in surprise and hit his head rather hard on the tiller. The boat laughed, "Surprised, I suppose you should be, there aren't very many talking boats around."

"No, the talking thing is fine, I've seen weirder, it's your horrible colors! They just clash! Who painted you?" Link said, suddenly wearing sunglasses and a ton of bling. The boat simply stared at him. "Anyway, where am I?" Link demanded, removing his shiny new apparel. 

"I've taken you to a place called Windfall Island. Here you have to buy me a sail, because I don't have one apparently, and then I'm going to send you on a bunch of stupid missions to stop the evil Ganandorf guy. Got all that?" the boat said.

"Yeah, whatever. Hey wait a minute, how did you get here if you don't have a sail?" Link asked, pointing an accusing finger at the boat. 

"Uh… don't talk to your elders that way!" the boat said quickly. Link crossed his arms and pouted before climbing out of the boat and into the shallow water underneath them. "Hey, wait a minute! I forgot to ask you if you would do anything to save your dear sister!" the boat said.

"No way! Why would I want to do that!?" Link asked.

"Well, don't forget the sail, and there's no time to play." the boat said.

"Who do you think I am? Some sort of five year old!? I'm here to make money! So long loser!" Link said and went running off. Not paying attention to where he was going, which was a common occurrence with Link, he slipped on a wet patch of grass and landed face first in a patch of flowers. "Hey, are you ok?" a little girl asked as he stood up and brushed himself off. "I'm fine! Go away!" Link snapped.

"Gee, you don't have to stare at us, I know we're cute and all but still…" the girl said.

"What are you talking about? I'm not-" Here Link looked up and stopped short. Standing in front of him were two small girls with wide eyes. "Oh no, you guys look just like the creepy little kid back on Outset! He was right! I can't hide from him!" Link shouted and went running off, screaming and waving his arms. "What a freak." said the other girl.Link ran across the bright green fields, nearly running over a small pig, who, if Link had taken a closer look at, he would've recognized it as one of the pigs he had thrown into the ocean back at Outset. Distracted by his attempts to avoid the little piggy, Link rammed right into a scary looking man, who appeared to have some sort of disease. His skin was a pasty yellow color, and he had weird spots on his face. "Hey hey, please listen to my story!" The man said, doing a weird bowing movement. "I have no money, and now my daughter has been kidnapped, and I got fired from my job because I was too bored and wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, and then I saw a pretty pretty pony!" 

"Stay away from me you diseased freak!" Link shouted, and ran into the town that was nearby.

Link would've kept running around in his mad panic had he not tripped over a pale looking man who was just sitting on a small flight of stairs. "No one ever understands me." the man said miserably.

"Oh! I do!" Link said happily.

"Really? Then prove it! Bring me a picture of something perfectly round and pale."

"But all the pictures are in black in white. I could take a picture of anything that's round and it would look pale!" Link protested.

"Does it look like I care? Just take the darn picture!"

"Alright fine! Um, actually I don't have a camera…"

"No one understands me."

"Oh forget it." Link said and went marching off. He went through a shiny red door and gave a gasp of amazement at what met his eyes. Everything in the room was sparkling, even the beautiful pots that lined the walls. "Money!" Link shouted and grabbed one of the pots before tossing it against the wall. "No money." Link said and then tried another pot. "No money in that one either!" He broke them all but didn't get anything from them. Disappointed, he made his way back to the door only to be stopped by an angry voice. "Stop right there, you can't just break my pots! Pay up!" said a fat man from the second floor of the house. 

"Never!" Link shouted back and quickly ran out of the house before the man could stop him. Link walked dejectedly along the stone pathway until he came upon an open stall, which looked as if it were made for a store, but all that was there was a small man dressed in a blue coat, his hood covering most of his head. "Hello, I must tell you my story, yes? Then you will buy that which has survived. Survived what you ask? Well then, listen to my story and you will find out!" the man said.

"Do you have a sail?" Link asked in a bored voice.

"Um, maybe? Will you buy it for eighty rupees?"

"Eighty rupees!? No way! I'll just steal it, muhahahaha!" Link said. He jumped over the stall, grabbed the sail, and then ran off before the other man could even react. Deciding to celebrate his newfound sail, Link went into the town's café, which was actually just above the little man's stall, but for some reason the poor guy didn't try to follow Link or call the guards. "Hey there, need something?" asked the café's owner.

"I would like something to eat, because now that I think about it, I haven't had anything to eat for days!"

"Ok then, that'll be eighty rupees."

"Eighty rupees?! What is it with this place? I'll just steal the food too!"

…two hours later…

Link now had a very bad reputation at Windfall. He had stolen something from every single person in the town. A camera from the annoying camera guy, some joy pendants from the weird teacher, some potions from the scary alchemist, and those fun board things that the game guy had (you know, the ones with different faces painted on them and he just sticks his head in each one to be different people…). Link walked through town, proudly displaying his many newly acquired items, the town's people glaring at him from behind the safety of their windows. "Now all I have to do before I leave is write a letter to Grandmamma to tell her I'm all right!" he said as he marched into the bomb shop to steal some paper and a pen (even though he had these things already, he figured it was more fun to steal them). Stealing from the bomb shop guy was trickier, as he kept throwing bombs at poor Link, but eventually the boy succeeded in his mission and he ran over to the post box to write his letter: 

Dear Grandmamma,

I have finally decided on what I want to be when I grow up!

I want to be a pirate and sail the ocean, making money and terrorizing people!

The End

-Link 

After sending this letter, which would most likely do nothing to appease any worries the poor woman might be feeling, Link marched back across the lush grass and towards the cove where his new pirate boat was. "Did you get the sail?" the boat asked.

"Sure did, and a bunch of other stuff too!" Link said happily.

"Well, we only have room for the sail, so just dump the other stuff."

"Noooooo."

After a few hours of arguing, Link finally came upon an idea. He ran back into town, stole the little man in the blue coat's safe, changed the combination and stashed his stuff in it. He then tossed it into the ocean so no one else but him knew where to find it. "Ok! Now we go to the nearest island and steal more stuff!" Link said happily, jumping into his boat. "Actually, we are here to save the world from Ganandorf! How many times do I have to tell you?" The boat said in a frustrated tone. "Now, our first stop is to Dragon Roost Island, we need a pearl there that is very important. But I won't tell you why because, one: it's more exciting, and two: I like to be mysterious."

"Dragon Roost Island? That sounds scary…" Link said. "I'm not sure I want to go there."

"Well too bad, because that's the only place you can go right now!" The boat said. "The wind is going west and it's never going to change direction! Now get moving!"

"Fine." Link said, beginning to put the sail up.

"What are you doing!?" the boat asked suddenly.

"I'm putting the sail up, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Not now you fool! You have to get us away from all those rocks first!" But it was too late, Link had finished with the sail and the two ran at full speed straight into a rock. "Now we're stuck here! I need repairs." The boat said as water began to leak into the boat, much to Link's dismay. 

"We can't get repairs here!" Link whined.

"Why not?"

"Because everyone hates me!"

"Well, maybe you should've thought about that more first before you started stealing everything." the boat suggested grumpily.

"You're right! I should've done it under cover of darkness! And with a mask! We'll do the next island right!" Link said as he pushed the poor boat over to dry land. "Now be a good little boat and wait there while I find a repair guy!"

"I hate you." the boat grumbled as Link went skipping off. Link had no idea how he was going to get the boat fixed, but, before he could come up with anything, a man called him over. "Hey there, care to join me for a walk?" The man asked as he passed Link (the man had a walking problem and ever since he was three he couldn't stop walking no matter what he did). "Actually I was sort of-" Link began, but the man wouldn't hear of it.

"I won't hear of it! Let's go!" the man said, and dragged Link along with him. "Over there is the jail, and that's the walkway leading away from the jail." The man said, giving Link the a short tour of the town, much to Link's boredom as he had already been through the town. "Wait, did you say jail?" Link asked suddenly, an idea on how to get rid of this annoying man starting to form. "Why yes! Right over there." the man said.

"Let's go see inside!" Link said, a malicious grin forming on his face.

"Ok!" Once they were inside, Link shoved the man into one of the large pots that were there and then turned it upside down so the man couldn't get out. During all this, Link accidentally stepped on a large button that was set into the floor. "Uhoh." Link mumbled when he realized that this had caused the jail cell's door to open. "Ahha! I am free! The money thief and all around crazy guy!" said a weird looking man loudly as he jumped out of the cell. "I am Tingle! Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!" the man said and started to do a crazy dance. "Um, I'll just be going now…" Link said hesitantly.

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!"

"…"

"I must give you a reward for saving me! Here, it is Tingle's super-ultra chart translator! If you ever find a chart you can't read, just use this. That'll be ten thousand rupees!" Tingle said with a cackle. "What?! But you said it was a reward! You don't ask for money when you're handing out rewards!" Link said, starting to get annoyed at this strange guy; he was also wearing clothes that were even uglier than Link's, that was annoying to the boy too. "Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! No money, no reward! You can have this thing instead!" Tingle said and tossed a strange green box at him.

"What's this?"

"I think it's a little communicator thingy!"

"You think? You mean you don't know?!"

"I just found it, I don't know what it does! Kooloo-limpah!"

"Well… what is a communicator anyway?"

"I don't know, but _they_ do!" Tingle said, his eyes shifting back and forth nervously.

"They? Who's they?"

"Who's them!"

"Yeah, whatever. I'm going now."

"No! You can't go! We need to do the Tingle dance!" Tingle shouted, but Link had already left. He was heading back to the town when suddenly Tingle's voice could be heard coming from Link's giant pocket. "Run Mr. Fairy run!" it said. "I accidentally dropped a bomb on the place where you're standing!"

"I don't see anything…" Link said as he pulled out the box Tingle had given him earlier. 

"Run!" Tingle's voice insisted, more loudly this time since it wasn't muffled by being inside the pocket. 

"Fine." Link said and took a few steps in another direction. Just as he did that there was a loud explosion right where he had been standing. Link gave out a scream before running back to his boat, shouting that the aliens wouldn't get him. "Heeeeeey." Tingle said suddenly in a forlorn voice.

"Oh what now?" Link shouted at the box, stopping in the middle of a flower patch.

"I'm bored. Let's play a game!"

"Never!" Link said and he mailed the box to the mutated freak back on Outset. "That'll teach him! Two birds with one stone! Muhahahaha!"

He marched back the rest of the way to his boat and stopped short when he saw the two creepy little girls. "Hey there! We fixed your boat for you!" one of them said, waving happily. "Really? Sweet! You'll never catch me now losers!" Link shouted as he jumped back onboard. 

"Uh Link, what are you doing?" the boat asked nervously.

"Putting the sail up! How many times are you going to ask me that?!"

"You have to get us away from the rocks first you fool!"

"Nooooooo." Link shouted as, once again, they crashed into the sharp rocks at full speed.

"Way to go genius, now the boat has another hole in it!" the other girl said as Link pushed said boat back onto dry land. 

"Can you fix it again?"

"No!"

"I'll give you two rupees!"

"Deal!" the two girls said happily. So they quickly fixed the boat, again, and then held out their hands for their reward. 

"Muhahahahahahahahaha! You didn't actually think I'd pay you did you? Losers!" Link said, throwing the sail up again and ignoring the boat's arguing that he had to clear the rocks first.

…three hours later…

Link had continually made the same mistake over and over, but he finally learned his lesson. The girls had fixed the boat each time, and each time Link had avoided paying them. Now Link was ready to set off for real this time. However, since the boat could only go really really slow without its sail, the girls caught up to him easily when he tried to run away without paying again. So Link was forced to pay up the two rupees he owed them. "Stupid little girls." Link muttered as they ran back to shore, delighted over their shiny new rupees. "Now, where to?"

"I already told you! Dragon Roost Island!" The boat, who was now in a horrible mood, said. 

"Aw, that's no fun." Link said. He was thoughtful for a few minutes as Windfall Island slowly faded in the distance, and then, "I say we go east!" he announced suddenly. He turned the boat in the other direction, and their good speed that they had had instantly turned to a near stop as they tried to go directly against the wind. "Come on stupid boat, move it!" Link said, hitting the side of the little red boat impatiently. 

Eventually the boat managed to persuade Link to go to Dragon Roost Island, mainly by saying that there might be a way of making money there. "Money? I love money! I'll do it!" Link shouted and immediately turned the boat around again, only to be thrown against the wood in the back as their speed increased rather quickly the minute he had finished turning. Link screamed for awhile (that scream that he makes sometimes when you have him fall in a hole…), but he eventually calmed down long enough to notice an island set half way between their destination and their departure point. "Land ho!" Link shouted excitedly, and sharply turned the boat so that they would be able to dock. "Ok Link, pull the sail in…" the boat said as they neared the little island.

"But we aren't there yet!" Link whined.

"Just pull the sail in before we crash!" the boat shouted.

"Oh fine." 

And with a pout Link quickly pulled the large piece of cloth down. Just in time too as they had nearly hit yet another rock. Link jumped out of the boat and climbed up the shore, only to be met by long waving grass and a weird dome thing. "There's nothing here!" Link said disappointedly. He marched back, ignoring the boats attempts to explain to him that there was a hole in the dome that he could crawl through. "I don't want to do that! I want to make money!" Was Link's response, and so they left the island unexplored. "Boat ho!" Link shouted suddenly, and sure enough there was a boat. Actually, it was a ship, a large ship. "It's the pirates!" Link said happily. "Yarrrrrr, avast matey!" Link shouted at the ship. His boat sighed tiredly.

"Link? It really is him! Full stop!" Tetra's voice could be heard from inside the ship.

"So long loser!" Link shouted at his boat as he got pulled aboard the pirate's ship via a long rope. Tetra walked over to him and slapped him on the face. "Because of you, we had to rescue those stupid girls just so that I could get my stone back, which _you_ left there!" she said angrily. 

Link paled suddenly, "You rescued Aryll? She's _here_!? What is wrong with you? She'll kill us all!" Link shouted at her.

"What are you talking about?" 

Suddenly Aryll appeared from below deck. Link screamed and hid behind the pirate captain. "Ahhahahahahaha! I have complete control of the seagulls! All will bow before me! Oh hi Link."

"Hi Aryll." Link said miserably. Suddenly he brightened as he got an idea on how to get rid of his insane sister. "Hey Aryll, there's a boat down there just for you! He'll help you stop your arch-enemy!"

"What are you talking about? I don't have an arch-enemy!" Aryll said, crossing her arms.

Link, who was still partially hiding behind Tetra (the only thing that could be seen of him was his head peeking nervously out from above the pirate's shoulder), hesitated. "Sure you do! It's Ganandorf! He's the one who kidnapped you anyway."

"Ahha! I knew it! I must destroy this evil Ganandorf! And you! You're coming with me!" Aryll said, pointing a small finger at her older brother.

"Me? Why me?"

"Because I'm naturally lazy and I need you to do whatever I tell you! That's why! Now let's go!"

Aryll grabbed poor Link and shoved him back into the talking boat. "Now, you do whatever the boat says, and I'll meet you at the Forsaken Fortress!" Aryll said. She spread her arms out and her seagulls came swooping down and then lifted her up, carrying her in the direction of the Fortress. "Aw man." Link said sadly as he watched the pirate ship leave as well. "So, uh… Dragon Roost Island then?" All he received in response was an annoyed nod from the boat. "Onwards to victory!" Link shouted, and set the sail back up. The two arrived at the island just as the moon was beginning to rise. Link pulled in close to the shore and then splashed over to dry land. "Link, did you see the large dragon on top of the mountain here?" the boat asked.

"No…"

"Well pay attention next time! Anyway, that is the great Valoo. You must go to him and ask him for the pearl. Goodluck!"

"Yeah, I'm not doing that."

"…Why not?!"

"Too much work. Why don't you do it?" Link asked with a hint of smugness.

"I'm a boat Link."

"So?"

"Would you just get moving!"

"Oh fine!" So Link went stomping off, only to be stopped by a large rock. "I'm stuck!" Link shouted towards the boat. 

"Use the stupid bomb flowers!" the boat shouted back.

"Ooooo, that sounds exciting!" Link said as he pulled one of the bombs out of the ground. "What do I do with it now?"

"What do you think?" the boat said in a frustrated voice.

"I don't know…" Link said, but before he could come up with an idea the bomb exploded in his hands, throwing poor Link into the rock that was blocking his way. He hit it with such force, however, that the rock shattered, leaving behind a small yellow rupee. "Money!" Link shouted as he picked it up. "I figured out what to do with the bombs!" Link said happily.

"Good for you." the boat mumbled, but Link didn't hear him as he had already used another bomb to throw himself into another rock. "Link! You're supposed to put the bombs next to the rock!" The boat shouted.

"This way works too!" Link said, happily picking up another rupee.

It took a few hours, but Link finally cleared all the rocks. He was on his last heart, but that didn't really matter to the boy as he had already collected quite a few rupees. "I'm here!" Link announced to the first person he met. This person's back was turned to him, but when he looked around, startled, Link saw that it was the mail carrier from before. "Oh it's you."

"Link? Is that really you? I must say, you've traveled quite far for someone without wings." the mail man said.

"Well yeah! That's because I've got my own pirate boat!"

"Huh, that's nice." The bird said in a careless voice. "And your sister, is she…?"

Link was about to respond when he saw a small spider crawling up his leg. He looked down at it in fear, but the bird mistook this as a sign that Link's sister was still in the Fortress and that he just didn't want to talk about it. "I see, well, why don't you come up to the city place thing?"

"Because I don't want to that's why!" Link said, spider crisis finally solved.

"I'm sure my leader would be glad to help!" the bird said, ignoring Link. "I'll fly ahead and let them know you're here. You keep following this path." he said, and with that he flew off towards the city. "Yeah, whatever." Link said, and began to march up the path. He entered the well lit city just as the king bird guy was finishing a conversation with one of his scouts. "And what of the Great Valoo? Have you found out what is bothering him yet?" the king asked.

"Nope." said the scout in a voice that said he didn't really care anyway, before flying off. 

"Here I am!" Link announced happily. "I'm Link!"

"Ah, you must be Link, Quill has told me so much about you." the king said cheerfully.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Well, even though you came all this way, and my messenger promised that I would assist you…" here the king paused long enough to shoot a glare at the mail man. "I'm sorry to say that I'm too busy to help, so you're on your own kid. See you loser!"

"Aw man!"

"Oh, wait, um. Could you deliver this letter to my son, because I'm a terrible father and don't really like talking to him, even though he really needs me right now, thanks!" the king said as he handed Link a large bag that was completely empty.

"There's nothing in here! Rip off!" Link shouted.

"Oh right… since I'm such a poor father, I didn't even write the silly letter, I had my assistant write it! Her name is Medli, she should be upstairs somewhere. See you around!"

"Ok…" Link said. He waited for the group to leave before he ran upstairs and into a large room where a smaller bird was waiting. "Well howdy-doo!" she shouted at him. "I've got a speech problem so I can only shout! Sorry!"

"I don't care! Just give me the darn letter!" Link shouted back.

"Ok!" Medli said and handed over the letter that she had written for the prince. "Goodluck, oh and could you do me a favor?" Medli asked uncertainly.

"Never!" Link said. He snatched the letter from her hand, stuffed it into his large delivery bag, and then went running off. 

"Ok, thanks!" Medli shouted after him as he ran towards the stairs. He stopped short, however, when he spotted the mail sorting room. He walked over to the owner and looked up at him. "Money?" he asked.

"Sure! I've got money, if you can sort these letters that is!"

"Money!" Link grabbed the pile and started to sort the letters before the bird could even finish his explanation on how to do it. Link's hands were blurs as he threw the letters into the boxes. Finally he finished, in record time too. "Money!" Link said happily.

"Ok, let's see how you did!" The bird said. "…You didn't put any of them in the right spot! You got an F!"

"Money?"

"No! No money!"

"MONEY!" Link shouted as he jumped over the counter. He grabbed the bird's money bag and then went running off, cackling manically. 

He stopped when he reached the prince's door and then flipped the money bag upside down. All that came out, however, was a large pile of feathers. "Noooooo! Oh well, guess I'll just deliver that letter now!" He barged into the prince's room without even knocking. "I'm here!"

"Who are you?" the prince asked. "Hey, look at this, it's my special pearl. Isn't it nice? Hey, you can stare at it all you want but you can't have it!"

"…You aren't holding anything." Link said.

"Oh, well… the pearl is actually getting cleaned, but I like to pretend it's still here."

"Yeah, whatever. Here, this is for you!" Link said, and pulled out the letter with a flourish.

"What's this?" the prince asked.

"It's a letter!"

"A letter?"

"From your father!"

"From my father?"

"Well actually, it's from Medli, but who cares?" Link said, sitting down on the floor.

"He's telling me to be brave. That's easy for him to say."

"I don't really care…"

"You're in this too you know."

"Really?"

"Poking your nose into other people's business. You're nosy aren't you?"

"Let me see that!" Link said, grabbing the letter from the prince. "…It doesn't say anything! It's just a bunch of flower drawings!"

"Well… yeah. This way you can pretend the letter says whatever you want it to say! Fun right?" the prince said happily.

"Not really. So… where's this pearl of yours anyway?"

"It's with Valoo, he likes to clean things sometimes."

"Ok then! I'm off to see Valoo!" 

"You can't do that! Valoo has gone psycho! He'll kill you!"

"He can't kill me! I'm indestructible! I got, like, ten bombs blown up in my face, and I'm still alive! Muhahahahaha! So long loser!" Link said, and he went running out of the room and outside. "Oh, it's too dusty here!" Link said as ash from the mountain/volcano came rushing down at him. 

"Hey! You really came! I wasn't sure if you would!" Medli's voice came floating over to him. 

"Darn! She's here too. She must want my pearl! You'll never get it before me! Never!" Link shouted. He grabbed a bottle from Medli's belt and used some of the water to save a dying bomb flower. Then he picked it up, waited a few minutes, and then went flying from the explosion, right into the rock that was blocking the well. "I can't swim!" Medli shouted as the dry lake began to fill up again. 

"Me neither!" Link shouted back. The two finally managed to make it to dry land however, and then they started to throw bombs at each other to try and stop the other from getting the pearl first. Fortunately they were bad aims and they completely missed each other. Instead, the bombs landed inside a bunch of weird looking statues. As the bombs exploded, the statues fell, creating a bridge over the hot lava that had previously blocked their path. The two kids looked at each other before making a mad dash for this newly created bridge. Link, however, accidentally tripped, so he was behind Medli by a few seconds. This turned out to be a lucky thing for him though, as suddenly a bunch of monsters came out of nowhere and arrested Medli for ruining their pretty statues. Link pretended not to notice as she was carried off.

"Muhahaha! The pearl is all mine now!" Link said as he made his way in good spirits towards the entrance to the 'dungeon'. "This is all there is!?" Link asked disappointedly when he saw the room he was in. Aside from a few large blocks and some torches, the room was completely empty. "Oh boooo. I wanted the pearl!" Link said, leaning against one of the blocks. Then the block suddenly moved, causing Link to fall backwards. "Ahha! Now we are getting somewhere!" Link shouted as he pushed the blocks around. After he had made a smiley face with the blocks, he noticed a small hole leading deeper into the mountain. "Muhahahaha! The pearl will be mine after all!"

…five hours later…

Link had been fighting inside the dungeon for what felt like days (when I say fighting, I mean running away and screaming like a baby). But now he was finally back outside and enjoying the fresh air. "Link! What took you so long?" Link could just make out Medli's voice in the distance. He looked up from admiring his shiny sword just in time to see Medli behind bars and being guarded by two lizard monsters. "Well well, look who got caught. And look who didn't!" Link said tauntingly. 

"Link, would you just fight these guys and get me out of here!?" Medli shouted at him.

"Alright fine!"

So after a really long battle (with really cool music), Link finally managed to free the bird girl. "Thankyou, I give up on finding the pearl, it's just not worth it! Here, take this stupid thing, it didn't help me at all!" Medli said, and handed Link a long piece of rope with a claw on one end of it. 

"What is it?" Link asked as he waved it around in the air to see what it was supposed to be meant for. 

"It's a grappling hook, what does it look like!" Medli asked before she went flying off. 

"Sweet." Link said. He stared at it for awhile and then shrugged. "I don't really like it." he said before tossing it on the ground and leaving it there. A few minutes later and he had to go back and get it, as he needed it to talk to Valoo. "I'm here!" he announced when he finally reached the very top of the mountain. 

"Does it look like I care?" Valoo asked in a miserable voice. "I feel depressed! I want a milkshake, with chocolate icecream! Go get me one! Oh, and if you could take care of the giant, scary bug that's hurting my tail, that'd help too…"

"Never! I'm here to steal the pearl! Muhahahaha!" Link used the grappling hook to grab the pearl from the giant dragon's large pile of treasure. "So long loser!" he shouted, but before he could leave the dragon grabbed him with one powerful hand. "I said, I wanted a milkshake and I need someone to get rid of the giant bug!" he roared.

"Why don't you just pull your tail out of the mountain you stupid dragon!" Link asked casually. 

"I… huh, I never thought of that one." the dragon said. He stood up and yanked his tail out, wrapping it around the mountain instead. "That's better. You can have the pearl, I'm done polishing it."

"Ahha! So long loser!" Link said after Valoo had placed him gently back on the ground.

As he exited the dungeon and returned to the bird people's city, Medli, the prince, and a bunch of other people came swarming out. "There he is! He's the one who stole my grappling hook!" Medli shouted.

"What are you talking about? You gave it to me!" Link said.

"And he's trying to steal my pearl!" The prince said. The other people gasped.

"Well, that one I am doing. So long losers!" Link shouted and went running off, batting people away with his shield. He made it safely back to his boat and was about to hop on when it stopped him. "Wait Link, there's something I have to give you!" the boat said.

"Yeah, now is not really the time for this, I've got an angry mob of birds right behind me!" Link said. 

"Here, take this!" the boat said, suddenly having a sparkling conductor's stick in his mouth. 

"Ooooo, sparkly! I want it! What is it?" Link asked as he admired it.

"That is the wind baton. Why don't you try it out?"

"Because I don't want to that's why!"

"Try playing in ¾ time."

"Ok!" Link started to wave it around in random directions, when suddenly the wind changed direction. 

"You've learned the wind's requiem!" said a strange voice. Link turned around and saw a giant frog sitting on a cloud.

"Oh you're ugly!" Link said, disgusted.

"That's a mighty fine wind you got there. Use that song to change the direction of the wind anytime you want, and if you see my crazed brother… shoot him for me will you? Thanks!"

"Yeah, whatever." Link said, just as the frog disappeared. "Hey wait! I don't remember how to play the song! That was just random!"

The boat stared at him, "Well, maybe you'll figure it out later. Now, change the wind to south so we can get the next pearl." it said, just as a large cloud of angry bird people could be seen coming towards them. "Um, I can't change the wind… remember?" Link said as he leaped into the boat. 

"Well you better do something because those birds don't look happy." the boat said.

"Ok, um… go boat go!" Link said, throwing the sail up. They moved at a slow pace, but they weren't going completely against the wind. "Ahhhh, this is nice." Link said, leaning back. 

"He's stealing the wind baton too!" Medli shouted.

"Oh my gosh! They're coming!" Link shouted. He pulled out his wind baton and began to desperately wave it around. Somehow he managed to play the wind's requiem and they were soon sailing at full speed towards the southern islands.

* * *

//So how was this chapter? I'm nearly finished with the next one, so I'll probably have it up by tomorrow (hopefully). In the next one Link visits the Great Deku Tree and then goes back home to Outset! Yay! Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed it :-) 


	3. Chapter 3

/ So, thanks again for reviewing, they make me so happy! I'd do the happy dance, but my dog would just stare at me like I'm crazy...

* * *

Chapter 3

The Forest Haven and the Return to Outset Island

"I'm sooooo bored! Talking boat thing, do something funny!" Link said with a small pout. They had been traveling for two days now, and they both hated each other extremely. "I already told you, I have a name!" the boat shouted.

"Yeah, a lame name! Honestly, if there's some sort of dangerous thing happening, and there's a cannon ball headed straight for you or something, what am I supposed to do? Shout out, Hey! The King of Red Lions, look out! By the time I get all that out you'll be dead!"

"Well that's my name, so quit calling me Talking boat thing!" The King of Red Lions said grumpily. 

Link was silent for a few minutes until a thought hit him. "Oh! I know, I'll call you Larry!"

"…Larry?!"

"Yep! It's great! It sort of suits you."

"No it doesn't."

"Larry, don't be so grumpy."

The boat gave a frustrated sigh. "Oh thank goodness! We're here!" it said suddenly.

"Hooray!" Link shouted as he spotted the large islands that was their destination. "Now Link, on this island you'll find the Great Deku Tree, treat him with respect and he might just give you the pearl." the boat said in a lecturing tone.

"Yeah, whatever. So long loser!" Link shouted as he went splashing off to dry land. It took Link a while to make it to where the Deku Tree was. First he had to use his grappling hook to swing around, then he missed where he had been intending to land and instead he fell into the ocean again. That happened more than Link would care to admit. Then there was this weird squid thing in the water which Link had to run away from, that took awhile too. Finally though, he was directly in front of the large tree that his boat had told him about. "Wake up!" Link shouted as he began to hit the tree with his sword. Suddenly a whole bunch of green monsters appeared all over the Deku Tree's face. "Jelly monsters! Nooooo!" Link shouted and began to run away to the safety of his boat. He accidentally tripped, however, and he ran into the tree instead. All of the green monsters were shaken off, and they fell to the ground around Link, much to his dismay.

Link began to scream and run around in circles until most of the monsters had been trampled upon and were turned into a scoop-able substance. "Jelly! I'll sell this for a lot of money!" Link said happily, before he realized that he didn't have any bottles. "Darn it all, I should've kept that one I stole from the scary bird girl!" Link said, giving the large tree another kick just for good measure. The tree woke up at this point, and he started cursing at Link in another language for waking him up. "It talks! Burn the evil tree!" Link shouted, and he started to eagerly rub two sticks together. Before he could get any fire going though, the tree recovered and raised up the giant lily pad that Link was standing on. "Howdy!" Link said to the tree, who was apologizing for his sudden outburst. 

"Were you sent here by the King of Red Lions?" the tree asked curiously.

"Nope, I _came_ here on my _own_! Stupid tree! No one tells me what to do!" Link shouted, beginning to rub his two sticks together again. 

"Well then, did you come here by _sailing_ on the King of Red Lions?" the tree asked, starting to get annoyed at the small boy.

"Nope! I sailed on some stupid boat called Larry."

"I see… well then, no pearl for you!"

"What? But I want it! I want it, I want it, I want it!!" Here Link began to throw his sticks at the tree as he went through a temper tantrum. 

"Stop that!" the tree said, shaking the large lily pad to try and get Link to fall off. 

"Great Deku Tree, something terrible has happened!" A small voice said all of the sudden. 

"Oh what now?" the tree asked as a weird looking little plant thing flew over to them. 

"It's Makar or whatever his name is! He fell into the forest and got eaten by a weird plant thing!" the little plant guy said anxiously.

"What?! Again? How many times is he going to have to be eaten before he learns? Oh well, I guess I'll have to send someone over to help…" the tree looked over at Link, who was now using his grappling hook to continually hit the large tree. "You there! Go into the forest and save Makar."

"Never!"

"I'll give you the pearl if you do."

"Oh fine." Link said as he was lowered down to the ground. "Where's this stupid forest place?"

"It's over there." the Deku Tree said, forgetting that he didn't have any fingers to point with. 

"Stupid tree! I'll find it on my own!" Link said, and went stomping off, accidentally falling right into a large flower. "Ahhhhh! It's ugly! Get me out of here!" Link shouted, right before the flower spat him out. Link was thrown through the air until he finally landed on one of the Deku Tree's many branches. "Ahha! I'll just take this and use it as a parachute!" Link said as he grabbed one of the tree's leaves. Little did Link know, though, that this leaf was a magical leaf. Instead of letting a person glide down gently, it made a person fall to the ground really fast! "Noooooo!" Link shouted as he discovered this the hard way. "Stupid leaf!" Link said, kicking the leaf after he had recovered from his hard landing. 

"Oh here, I'll help you get to the forest!" said the little plant guy.

"But you're creepy!" Link protested as the plant picked him up and flew him outside. 

"Ok, get ready!" the plant said as they started to fly over the forest. 

"For what?" Link asked, right before the plant dropped him. "Nooooo! Stupid creepy plant thing!" Link shouted as he fell into the dark forest. He landed in a soft pile of leaves in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by thick trees and weird flying things. Link gave out a high pitched scream and began to run around, batting away at the flying things. After a few minutes of doing this, Link stumbled upon a large chest that was just sitting there. "Money?" Link asked as he opened the chest. "No money. It's just a stupid boomerang!" He threw his newly acquired item away from him in frustration before starting to run away from the flying things again. It took him a while to realize that all of the monsters that had been previously chasing him were now dead. Killed by the boomerang that he had thrown (and was still flying around, bouncing off of walls and things).

"Ahha! I got them all! I am Super Link!" Link shouted, right before his boomerang came back to him and hit him rather hard in the head. "Stupid boomerang! Take that!" Link shouted, and he threw the boomerang once again, only to have it come back and hit him for a second time. "Stupid boomerang! Take that!" he threw it again…

…two hours later…

Link had finally stopped trying to throw his new weapon and he was now headed off in a random direction that he had picked, hoping it would lead to the little plant guy that he was searching for. He soon entered a large room that had a very large plant in the center of it. On top of this plant was a little plant guy, hopping around and singing a little song. "Awww, he's so cute!" Link said, right before the large door behind him slid shut with a thud. "Let me out, let me out!" Link shouted, banging on the thick wood with his fists. "Stupid door! Take this!" Link threw his boomerang at the door, already forgetting his previous experience with the weapon. The boomerang hit the door and then bounced back, just missing Link and heading straight for the little plant guy. The little plant guy, who was oblivious to all this, was still hopping around and singing his little song when the boomerang hit him and sent him flying off of the large plant he had been on.

"Hey, watch it!" the little plant guy said.

"Are you Makar?" Link asked as he picked up his boomerang and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Sure am! And you interrupted my song! Now you must die!" 

"Oh no!" Link shouted and made a run for the door that was still sealed.

Makar stared at him, "I was just joking you know…"

"Oh. I knew that!" Link said, giving a nervous laugh.

"Well, I guess I should be going back to the Great Deku Tree now, bye swordsman!" Makar said and he flew off, leaving a very scared Link behind. "Wait! How do I get out?" Link shouted after him. "Well that's just great." He would've complained more, but he suddenly heard a strange sound coming from in back of him. He slowly turned around and saw that the large plant was starting to attach itself to the ceiling with long vines. Link gave out a scream and then started to run around in circles, shouting out that the plant would never catch him. Just as he finished saying that the plant scooped him up and tossed him into a wall. "Ahha! No one messes with Super Link! Take this stupid plant!" Link shouted as he tossed his boomerang again. The boomerang cut through all the vines, causing the large plant to fall back to the ground. "Muhahahaha! I got you!"

Link started to do a victory dance, which probably would've lasted for the rest of the day, had the doors not suddenly opened. "Yay!" Link shouted before running back outside. It took him awhile to find his way back out of the forest, since he had no idea where the entrance was to begin with, but he finally found it. If he had been paying attention, he would've realized that he was at an extreme height from the ocean, but, as usual, he wasn't, so he fell all the way down. He splashed around in a panic for awhile in the warm waters until he finally spotted Beedle's ship shop floating around. "Now I can get another pear!" Link said excitedly as he pulled himself out of the water. The minute Link entered the ship he pointed at a pear and said, "I want it!" 

"Thank you! Now you have one point!" Beedle said after Link had paid for it.

"One!? But I had two before!" Link whined, stuffing his pear into his bait bag.

"I don't remember that, gwahahahahaha!" Beedle shouted before pushing Link out of his boat and into the ocean. Fortunately for Link though, Beedle's ship drifted back to dry land whenever no one was steering it; so Link didn't have far to swim before he reached his boat. "Did you get the pearl yet?" his boat asked in a bored voice.

"I'm working on it!" Link shouted as he marched back to the tree, his clothes soaking wet.

When Link finally arrived, he saw that the tree and the little plant guys were having a party. They were all singing and dancing and having a good time, until Link came in that is. "All right, party over! Give me the stupid pearl!" Link shouted as he made his way to the giant lily pad. Everyone stared at him silently as the Deku Tree scolded Link for interrupting a very important ceremony. "Now I can't make more seeds, and now we won't have any forests on any of the other islands!"

"Well so? Does it look like I care? I just want the pearl!"

"Oh fine, here!" The tree said, tossing the pearl at Link.

"Muhahahahaha! I now have two pearls! I can't wait to sell these!" Link shouted before he went running off, much to the relief of the native inhabitants of the island. Link repeated his impatience on waiting to sell the pearls when he arrived back at his boat. "You can't sell them you fool! We need them!" the boat said as Link tried to figure out where to put all his items. "You're no fun at all Larry!" Link said.

"Stop calling me that!"

"What, Larry?"

"Yes!"

"…But it's your name!"

"No it's not!"

"I don't believe you! So, where are we going next?" Link asked, getting tired of having these types of conversations with the boat.

"We are going to see Jabun, he has the last pearl."

"Oh finally! The last one! Then we will be rich!"

"No, then you will be tested to see if you are worthy."

"Worthy for what?" Link asked as he started to wave his wind baton around in the hopes of repeating the Wind Requiem. "Worthy of saving the world, pay attention!" the boat said. "Oh but, I don't want to save the world!" Link protested. "I just want money!"

"Well maybe you'll get money when you save the world." the boat said in a patient voice.

"Ooooo, really?"

"No, now let's go already!"

"Oh fine!" Link said and he set the sail up, not really knowing where he was supposed to be going. It took a few minutes, but the boat finally realized that they were heading in completely the wrong direction. After berating Link about this (which made the boat feel slightly better), they were soon headed in the proper direction.

…four days later…

"How much longer? I'm getting bored!" Link asked in a whiny voice.

"We would've been there by now if you didn't have to stop at every single island we come across!" the boat grumbled. "And not only that, but you spend four hours on each one, just dancing!"

"It's not dancing! It's exercising you stupid boat! I'd like to see you stay in one position hour after hour, doing absolutely nothing!"

"…Link, I'm a boat! I've been doing that my whole life!"

"Well that doesn't count, you're used to it by now." Link said simply. "Oh hey look, another island! Land ho!" Link shouted, right before they crashed into it and got stuck on the beach. "Oh good, we're almost there!" the boat said. From his position on top of one of the rocks, he could just make out the island that they were trying to get to in the distance. A few minutes later and they were off. The boat was anxious to get the last pearl, and Link was just excited to be meeting a giant fish, "First, I'm going to laugh at him, then I'll tease him! Or should I do it the other way around…"

"Link, Jabun is a very wise sage, I don't think he'd appreciate it if you started laughing at him."

"Well he should've thought of that before he decided to be a giant fish!" Link argued.

Larry was silent for a few seconds as he considered whether or not it was even worth it to respond. Deciding that it wasn't, the boat was quiet for the rest of the way. As they neared the island a large storm started to pour down on them, much to Link's annoyance, who was already wet as it was. "I hate sailing, I don't think I want to be a pirate anymore." Link mumbled as he pulled in next to the island, which appeared to have been pulled apart by something very powerful. Link splashed over to the beach and looked around, "Well?! Where's the stupid fish?" Link shouted at the boat over the crashing waves. "I don't think he's here, something terrible happened here…" the boat said.

"Now you're just being pessimistic Larry."

"I'm not-"

" 'Hoy there Link!" a loud voice interrupted the boat before he could finish. 

"Oh great, it's the stupid bird again. You just keep turning up like a bad penny!"

"Link, I came to tell you some important news!" Quill said as he landed next to the boy. "Have you seen this island Link?"

"Uh, yeah! I've been here for, like, ten minutes!"

"Ganondorf's forces did this to the island, since then it has not stopped raining. The one you are looking for, Jabun, is still alive though. He is seeking shelter at an island you well know."

"Windfall?" Link asked after a short pause.

"…No."

"Dragon Roost Island?"

"No! Outset Island!"

"What?! I bet he's going to eat all of my soup!" Link said angrily.

"The pirates were trying to get there as well, but they needed bombs, so they went to Windfall Island."

"Ahha! I knew it was Windfall Island! That was my first choice too!"

"They should still be there, so you might be able to get some bombs of your own." Quill said, interrupting Link's victory dance. 

"Yeah, whatever," Link said as he started to head back to his boat. 

"Good luck Link!" Quill said as he flew off, back in the direction of his home.

"So, back to Windfall I guess." the boat said.

"Windfall!? I thought we wanted to go home!" Link said, blinking in surprise.

"We need bombs you fool! Now get moving!"

"Alright fine!"

When they arrived at Windfall it was still dark, something neither of them seemed to notice as they were so used to time stopping on all the main islands. "Oh hey look! It's the pirates! Yarrr!" Link started to shout in his excitement as he stared at the giant ship that was docked nearby. 

"Keep your voice down fool!" The boat said. "Now, try to find out what the pirates are up to, and go get some bombs, and get me a vanilla fudge sundae!"

"…But you're a boat! I'll just get myself a sundae and eat it, right in front of you! Muhahahaha!" And with that Link went running off to town, still cackling. He only made it halfway, however, before the creepy old man came running up to him. "Hey hey hey," he said, doing his weird bowing motion again. "You who has promised to rescue Maggie, you must not dawdle!"

"Freaky old man, I didn't promise anything! Besides, she should be back by now, the pirates rescued her a while ago…"

"Oh, well, maybe they did… I saw a pretty pony!"

"Yeah, whatever." Link said and went running off before the man could think of anything else to say.

"Ah, hello there!" said a voice as Link passed by the café area. 

"Hey, it's you! I remember you! The guy who had the sail!" Link said happily.

"Yes, it is I!" the man said, he didn't seem at all upset at Link. "Thanks to you, I have opened up my store, yes, all thanks to you!"

"Me? What did I do?" Link asked curiously.

"If you had not stolen my sail, I would never have found out that it had insurance on it! I got two hundred rupees for it!"

"Two hundred! Aw man, I would've sold the sail days ago if I had known it was worth so much!" Link said, crossing his arms.

"Yes yes! Thank you young man! You will be my business partner, no?"

"No."

"But together we will make much money, no?"

"Money?" Link asked, perking up.

"Yes yes! Lots of money!"

"I'll do it! What am I doing?"

"You will take this, yes?" the man in the blue coat said as he handed Link a wilting flower. 

"What am I supposed to do with this thing?" Link asked as he tried to get the flower to stand up straighter. 

"You must find some loser who will trade something better for it! Then you mail the newer and better thing back here, and we get more money because right now, we make no money!"

"I'm not surprised, look at what you're trying to sell!" Link said as he stuffed the nearly dead flower into his delivery bag.

"Yes well, we will soon have better things!"

"Yeah, whatever," Link said casually. "Do you know where the pirates are?"

"Pirates?! They will steal our flower! We must close up shop now!" the man said.

Link sighed and then left the little man as he ran around his shop, sealing everything in his new safe. "Well, I guess I could get the bombs while I look for the pirates," Link said as he marched through the rain. Surprisingly enough, the shop appeared to be open. The lights were shining brightly through the slightly stained windows and noises could be heard from inside. Link knocked obnoxiously on the small door when he found it to be locked. "Uh, we're closed! Go away!" said a voice that sounded suspiciously familiar to Link.

"But the little sign says open!" Link protested. The door opened partially and a hand came through, flipped the sign to closed, and then closed the door again. "Aw man! I just missed it!" Link said, kicking at a rock. 

"Hey, you there!" said a voice from behind Link. The green clad boy turned around and saw four boys walking towards them. "We got somethin' to say to you!" one of the boys said. "Really? Do you know another way into the bomb shop?" Link asked excitedly.

"Maybe we do, maybe we don't."

"Well, which is it?" Link demanded.

"Hey, wanna play a game of hide and seek?" another one of the boys asked.

"Um, no."

"Well fine! There's a secret entrance to the shop over there. We're the Killer Bees! Buzz buzz!" and with that the four boys went stomping off. 

"…Ooook then," Link said before he made his way to the back of the shop. He had to climb around quite a bit, but he eventually made it to a small hole that led into the bomb shop. When he made it through he not only found the bombs that he needed, all packaged up and ready to go, but the pirates as well. They appeared to be arguing about whether or not they should stay for awhile and get something to eat. The big stupid pirate was siding with the staying part, but Tetra was saying that they had to hurry to Outset before that island was destroyed as well. "Eh? Miss Tetra, it sounds like you care more about the island then the treasure." said a geeky looking pirate with broken glasses. None of the pirates knew why he insisted on wearing them, as he didn't even have bad eyesight. "Treasure?! I love treasure!" Link shouted. 

Fortunately his loud voice was covered by Tetra's, "Don't be stupid! I like treasure!" she protested. She looked up at this point and saw Link's head poking out from the second floor. "Oh my gosh! It's that stupid kid again with the crazy sister!" she shouted. Link hid just as the other pirates looked up at where their captain was looking. "Um, I mean, yeah food, sounds good!" Tetra said, giving a nod.

"Hooray! Food!" the pirates said, and they went running out, completely forgetting Tetra's previous outburst.

"All the bombs are in my ship's super secret storage area Link." she told Link as he jumped down from his hiding spot. 

"What, you mean the room that you have to swing around to get to?" Link asked.

"Um, maybe…"

"Been there, done that!" Link said with a wave of his hand.

"Well fine, be that way! But listen, I'm only staying here until morning so you better get there before then." Tetra said with a warning frown.

Link snickered, "It's never morning here loser!" he said and went running out.

"Link, get back here!" Tetra shouted. Link came back inside with a small pout. "You need the password to get in."

"Oh wow! A password now! You guys are moving up!" Link said sarcastically.

"The password is: Sharks. Don't forget it!"

"Ok then! So long loser!" Link shouted and went running back outside and into the pouring rain. 

He ran straight to Tetra's ship and knocked on the door that led to the lower decks. Niko's voice could be heard from the other side, "What do pirates fear more than sharks?"

"Well?!"

"Um, sharks?" Link said, wondering if Tetra had been teasing him before.

"Right right, you can come in!" Niko said. 

"Huh," Link said before he entered the ship. "To the super secret storage area!" he shouted as he ran down the hallway. He stopped short when he noticed that no one was guarding Tetra's room this time. "Muhahahaha!" Link began to laugh as he stepped inside. He examined her pictures, but all that was there was a bunch of boring sea charts. In one of them, Tetra had connected a few of the islands to form a triangle with an upside down triangle in it. "Silly Tetra, she thought it was a connect-the-dots game!" Link said as he erased her drawing so it looked better. "There, well I'd better get going. No one will ever know I was here, because I am Super Link!" Link shouted as he went running out, leaving a large puddle of rain water behind from where he had been standing.

"Hey! It's my old swabbie Link!" Niko said happily when Link rounded the corner.

"Oh great, it's you," Link mumbled. "Look little guy, I don't have time for this. I need to get the bombs!"

"Oh, ok! Here, I'll set it all up for you! Now this test is a lot harder than the other one you took!" Niko said cheerfully. "You have to swing on the lanterns like before, but this time there's no platforms in-between the ropes! Also, if you aren't fast enough, a bunch of metal bars come down and block the door to the super secret storage area! Got it?"

"I'm already here," Link shouted across the room to him.

"What?! Oh fine, just give me a minute to get there…" It took Niko forever to get to where Link was waiting impatiently. "Ok, go ahead and grab the bombs!" Niko said when he finally arrived. "Yay! Bombs! They're all mine!" Link shouted as he started to throw them around in random directions. 

"Hey, careful!" Niko shouted as he nearly got hit by one. "Well see you around I guess Link," he said after Link had finally ran out of bombs.

"Yeah, see you," Link said, grabbing more bombs before he left.

Before Link exited the ship though, he stomped on the switch so that the metal bars came down, trapping Niko in the super secret storage area. "Muhahahahahahaha! So long loser!" Link shouted before running outside. "Now, I have till daytime, so I guess I can take my time!" Link said as he walked along the cliff's edge. "Oh hey look! A crazy dancing guy!" Link shouted. Sure enough there was a strange man dancing next to someone's gravestone. 

"Oh, hi there! I was so busy dancing, that I didn't see little old you standing there!" the man said.

"I'm not little! I'm Super Link!"

"Say, do you know how the song goes? I've got the rhythm down, but I just can't remember that magical melody." the man said in a frustrated tone.

"I know a magical melody!" Link said, and he pulled out his wind baton. He waved it around in random directions until the man got suddenly excited. "That's it! Un cha! Un cha!"

"That's it guy! I'll teach it to you!"

So the man taught the melody to Link, but little did Link know that it turned night into day. "I'll play it!" Link said happily. He realized his mistake when the sun suddenly started to rise. He turned around to see the pirates making a mad dash for their ship. "Hurry up, the sun is up!" Tetra could be heard yelling. Link gave out a high pitched scream before playing the song again. The pirates looked around confusedly when the sun suddenly set again. "That's odd, oh well, back to the café!" Tetra shouted, and they all went running back. "Whew!" Link said.

"Why guy? Why does my dancing do nothing to the sky?" the man asked, still doing his weird dance moves. Link went running off back to his boat, eager to get away from the strange man.

"Did you get the bombs?" the boat asked the minute he saw Link approach. It had taken Link awhile to find the boat, as it had decided to move around and dock somewhere else. "Yes, I got the bombs! Now we can go to Outset and have soup! Yum!" Link said as he set up the sail. It didn't take them long to reach their destination, there were a few delays from an insistent shark (which made Link realize why pirates feared them so much), but other than that they had no problems in reaching Link's old home. "Link, have you noticed? No time has passed since our departure from Windfall," the boat said, looking around. 

"Well duh! I told you!" Link said as he splashed over to the island's shore. He wasn't too concerned with getting wet, as the storm was still raging overhead, and he was soaking wet already anyway. "You have plenty of time to say hello to your friends and family. Once you are done, come back here and we will get the pearl from Jabun," the boat continued, pointedly ignoring Link. "Yeah, whatever. I'm getting my soup!" Link shouted as he ran towards his grandmother's house.

"Granny! I'm home!" Link shouted the minute he had entered the house. He gasped when he saw that his grandmother wasn't getting up to great him, or, more importantly, spooning out some soup. "Link, don't go, don't leave your poor grandma all alone!" his grandmother mumbled. 

"Oh you're no good at all!" Link said. "I'll just get my own soup," he said as he scooped out some soup from the pot that was boiling over the kitchen fire. "Muhahahaha! Soup!" Link drained the whole bowl in one gulp, only to wish that he hadn't a few seconds later. "This stuff tastes horrible! Grandma! You can't cook anymore! You've failed me!" Link said before stomping out of the house to say hello to the rest of the village. He stopped by the pig man's house first, stopping in surprise when he saw what was in the fenced in area. The little black pig that he had caught was now huge, towering over Link as it thudded over to him to see who he was. "Giant pig! It'll kill us all!" Link shouted, startling the poor pig. Link ran screaming into the pig man's house, only to be hit on the head by a heavy rolling pin.

"Ow!" Link shouted. "What's that for?"

"Link! It's really you!" said the pig man's wife, who had been the one who had hit him. "Sorry, I thought you were one of those monsters trying to get in. Look pig man!" the woman said, referring to her husband. "It's Link!"

"Link! Guess what?" the pig man said.

"What?" Link asked cautiously.

"I just saw a…a wild pig! Just outside!"

"That's your pig you fool!" Link shouted. "I'm out of here!"

"Wait! You should say hello to the boys, they'll be so excited to see you!" the woman said happily. 

"The boys? You don't mean… booger kid, do you?" Link asked anxiously. The pig man nodded sadly. "Noooooo!" Link went running outside and quickly ran into the safety of the nearest house. Which happened to be Orca's. "Ohhhh Link, why didn't you tell me what had happened to Aryll, that wasn't very nice!" Orca said, crossing his arms.

"Well I _tried_ to tell you!" Link said in an annoyed tone.

"Yeah, whatever. What say you Link, would you like more training in the sword?"

"No! I'm Super Link, I don't need training fool!"

Link went running out and decided that he would visit the big headed freak, just for fun. The minute he opened the door he could hear the freak's angry voice yelling at someone. At first Link thought he was yelling at the woman who liked to carry pots around all the time, but then he realized that the object of all that attention was a small green box. Link burst out laughing, "I forgot I mailed that to you!" he said happily as Tingle's voice insisted that they play a game, because he was bored. "So, he returns at last! I've got a few things to say to you!" The freak said angrily, throwing the box into one of his pots. 

"Now freakishly mutated grandfather, calm down." the woman said, smiling warmly at Link. "Welcome back!" she said happily. "You're grandmother has been sick ever since you left. So I came here to see my freakishly mutated grandfather to see if he had any ideas."

"Granny is sick?! Since when?" Link asked, throwing a book around just for fun.

"Since you left." the woman said, placing a pot on her head for no apparent reason.

"Oh."

"Yes, and I think I have an idea on how to heal your grandmother too!" the freak said happily. "We have been making a medicine in her house, and it's nearly ready."

"Wait a minute, that stuff in the pot was medicine!?" Link shouted, finally realizing why the 'soup' had tasted so horrible. 

"Well yeah, it is almost finished, all we need is a fairy to keep her from getting worse until the medicine is done." the freak continued. "Now, go into the forest and get a fairy!"

"Never!"

"…But your grandmother needs it Link," the woman said.

"Oh fine, I'll do it."

"Link, there are monsters in the forest, so you should try throwing rocks at them! Just pick them up and-" but before the woman could finish Link went storming out of the house. "He's so rude!" the woman said in an annoyed tone.

Meanwhile, Link had entered the forest and was now struggling to lift the heavy rock that blocked the way to the fairy's home. It took him awhile to remember about his new bombs, and he was soon throwing them all over the place, trying to hit the rock. Unfortunately his aim hadn't improved at all and he was soon on his last bomb. "Larry was wrong, this is the only way to get rid of rocks!" Link said grumpily as he simply held the last bomb in his hands, waiting for it to blow up. A few seconds later and he was down the hole, rubbing a sore arm from the impact. "Where's a fairy?" Link asked as he entered the strange underground room. Suddenly a tall fairy came out of nowhere; she had a flower on her head and she was swinging around, humming a little song. "Stupid fairy, get in the bottle!" Link shouted up at her as he held out a bottle that he had 'borrowed' from the freak. "I've never met someone as rude as you!" the fairy declared, glaring down at Link. 

"Yeah, whatever. Look, here's the deal, my grandmother is really sick and if she doesn't get better then I'll never get some soup! So if you would just get into the bottle so you can heal her, then I'll never bother you again, ok?"

"So… you mean to say that you came all this way for your grandmother?" the fairy asked in a gentle voice. 

"No, I said I came all this way so I could get _soup_! Pay attention!"

"You are such a kind boy!" the fairy said happily, ignoring Link. "Here, take this." she said, and she handed Link a large wallet. "Now you can hold more rupees!"

"Sweet! I love money!" Link shouted as he turned the wallet upside down and started to shake it. "Hey, there's nothing in here! I hate you!" 

"Well, I have to go now, farewell!" the fairy said as she sunk back into the fountain below her. 

"Wait! What about soup?!" Link shouted after her, but he was too late as she had already disappeared. "Noooooo!" Suddenly a bunch of little fairies came swarming around him, waving their little wands around. "It's the attack of the killer fairies! Get away from me!" Link started to swing his bottle around in his haste to shoo the little fairies away. "Oh hey look, I caught one! Muhahahahahaha!" Link quickly stuck the cork in the bottle so the fairy couldn't escape before he went running back outside, leaving the other fairies behind. He had to run past a whole bunch of monsters before he finally managed to exit the forest. He was just about to cross the bridge to get back to the village, when he realized that there wasn't any bridge. The storm had completely knocked it down. "These people are so slow at fixing things!" Link complained as he looked around, trying to find a way to get across.

He finally decided that he would have to make a jump for it, since he had no way to get across. Right before he was about to do this potentially fatal move, however, a large leaf came out of nowhere and smacked him in the face. Link grabbed it and pulled it off, looking to see where it had come from. He found the culprit to be one of the small plant things that lived on Forest Haven. "The Greet Deku Tree said that you did the whole thing wrong and that you're supposed to have that leaf," the plant thing said. "You can use it to fly around and all that stuff. Bye!" and with that the little plant guy went flying off, only to be swept away in the powerful winds. Link laughed in amusement at that for awhile before finally trying out his new leaf. Unfortunately he didn't realize that he was supposed to have changed the wind direction first, so he ended up just hovering in place as he tried to go one way while the wind pushed him the other way. He eventually slowly glided down to the stormy ocean below. "I still can't swim!" Link shouted as the large waves tossed him around for awhile. He finally managed to make it to shore; and he quickly went running off, back towards his grandmother's house.

He stopped when he saw the grass cutting man's house nearby. With a shrug he decided that his grandmother wasn't going anywhere, and he entered the house. "Link! I'm still trying to cut my grass, but whenever I go outside, there are these scary monsters out there!" the man said.

"I didn't see anything…" Link said as he tried to grab a rupee that was under the man's counter. 

"You should stay at home until morning, it's much safer."

"Ok!" So Link went running back outside, only to be blocked by a bunch of those jelly monsters. "Money!" Link shouted at them as he began to trample them. "Ahha!" He was just about to scoop them up when he remembered that the fairy was still in his bottle. "Hmm, soup, or lots of money?" Link pondered. He stood in the rain for a long time, trying to figure out what to do. Before he could make a decision, however, the remains of the jelly monsters disappeared. "My money! Nooooo!" Link shouted, and then made his way back to his grandmother's house, muttering miserably to himself.

He entered the house and then went over to his grandmother. "Here you go Granny, I got a fairy just for you!" he shouted at her, incase she was sleeping. "Oh fine, just take it," Link said. He opened up the bottle and released the fairy, who had been starting to get slightly cramped in her small confinement. "Free!" The fairy said in a high pitched voice which was barely audible. She spun around a few times, looking for someone to heal until she spotted Link, who was waiting impatiently for his grandmother to get better. The fairy circled Link a few times, much to Link's dismay. "No stupid fairy! Heal the old lady!" Link shouted at her, but it was too late. The fairy had already recovered Link's hearts and was moving away. "Nooooo! Now I won't get soup or money!" he shouted before he started to cry.

* * *

Muhahahaha, I have left you all with an evil cliffie! Teehee! Hope you all liked it! 


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again! I hope you all like this chapter :-)  Thank you all yet again for reviewing too! Also, if there's anything in the story you absolutely hate and it just ruins your

day reading it, then let me know so I don't repeat it in any of the other chapters. Oh, and there's alot of spoilers for the game in this one, so if you haven't gotten this far in the actual game yet you might want to wait to read this one...

* * *

Chapter 4

The Tower of the Gods and Old Hyrule

Link cried for a few minutes before he recovered enough to start breaking all of his grandmother's dishes in an attempt to get her to wake up. It didn't work. Eventually, the freak and his granddaughter came in, stopping in surprise when they saw the broken glass scattered all over the floor. "Hey, we should clean this up!" the pot lady said. "We should just pick up the pieces and then throw them in the garbage! Can everyone handle that?" the woman was ignored, however, as the freak started to scold Link for making the mess in the first place. "Did you get the fairy or not?" the freak asked after awhile, while his granddaughter picked up the remains of the dishes and tried to balance them all on her head. "Well I _did_, but the stupid fairy healed the wrong person!" Link said miserably.

"Well, you'll have to get another one!" the freak said.

"But I don't want to!" Link protested.

"Hey, we should just try and give her the medicine," the pot lady said after she had cleared the room of the dangerous glass. "Can you handle that freakishly mutated grandfather?"

"Hey, for once your obviousness has paid off!" Link said happily as he started to spoon the last of the medicine into a bowl.

"Yes, it should be ready by now!" the freak said, grabbing the bowl from Link before he did something stupid.

"I want to give it to her!" Link whined, starting to pout.

"Now Link, my grandfather knows how to do it better!" the pot lady said happily.

"That's right, I know just how-" but before the freak could finish he tripped on a piece of glass that the pot lady had missed, and spilt the remainder of the medicine. The freak's head turned a funny red color as he started to hit the floor with his staff. "Such a racket! Can't you keep it down!" he shouted, apparently he was used to blaming things on his brother Orca, even though the man wasn't even there. "We need to make more medicine now, can you handle that?" the pot lady said, just as cheerfully as before.

"No!" the freak said. "I don't have any of the ingredients! Link, we need another fairy!"

"But the bridge is down!" Link protested.

"We will have to fix the bridge!" the pot lady said. She went running outside, into the dark, stormy night.

"Well, at least she's gone!" Link said as he turned to the freak, who was still banging on the floor with his stick.

"Would you stop that! It's scary!" Link said, throwing his boomerang at the old man. The boomerang missed the man, though, and hit Link instead. "Stupid boomerang! Take this!" Link shouted. He was just about to throw it again when the freak finally calmed down and grabbed the weapon from Link's hand.

"Don't throw that around you fool! Let's go see what pot lady is up to!"

"…Don't you even know your own granddaughter's name?" Link asked.

"What are you talking about? That is her name!"

"Her name is pot lady…?"

"Um, maybe," the freak said, frowning as he tried to remember what her real name was. "It doesn't matter, let's get moving!" he said finally. The two marched out of the house and walked towards the forest, accidentally forgetting to close the door so the grandmother was directly in line of the wind and rain as it came rushing in. When they arrived at the bridge, they found it to be completely fixed. The pot lady was there, testing her repairs by jumping up and down, the bridge swinging dangerously each time she landed. "Link! Freakishly mutated grandfather! I fixed the bridge!" she said, waving at them as she continued to jump around.

"Darn, now I actually have to go back!" Link said, glaring at the pot lady.

"Yep, so get going!" the freak said, giving Link a shove onto the bridge.

"Stop jumping! The bridge is swinging too much!" Link shouted at the pot lady as he held onto the rope railings for dear life.

"I am testing the strength of the ropes!" the pot lady shouted back.

"Well stop it! Or I'll break one of your pots again!"

The woman gasped, "Why would you do such a thing? Pay me five rupees for doing that!" she said, ceasing her jumping for the time.

"What? But I didn't actually break anything yet!" Link said.

"Pay up!"

"Never!" Link shouted. He ran past her, giving her a push to distract her.

"I'm falling off of the bridge!" the woman shouted.

"Oops," Link said as he looked over the edge. The pot lady was there, hanging on to one of the ropes that was hanging down. "Here, grab on," Link said in a bored voice as he stretched his hand down to her. "I have to grab Link's hand by grabbing it with my hand! I can handle that, can't I?" the pot lady said to herself. She was so busy talking to herself though, that she fell before she could actually _do_what she was talking of doing. Link watched her fall and then a few seconds later he could just make out her voice over the crashing waves, "I'm in the ocean, I have to swim to shore by swimming. I can handle that, can't I?" Link shrugged slightly and then finished his trip over the bridge while the freak went running down the mountain, blaming the near death of his granddaughter on Orca.

So Link had to go all the way back to the fairy fountain, grab yet another fairy, and then run all the way back to his house. On the way back, he passed the freak and the pot lady. They were still at the beach and the old man was trying to help the woman out of the ocean, while all the woman did was talk about what she should do to help, without doing any of the things she suggested to herself. "I got the fairy!" Link announced, and then gasped when they ignored him. "Well fine, I'll just give it to Grandma myself!" Link said grumpily as he marched away from the two, who were now battling a crab that had been woken up by all the shouting they had been doing. "Link, did you say hello to all your friends yet?" the boat called over to Link as he passed.

"I'm working on it!" Link shouted at him.

"Well hurry up, we need to get the pearl from Jabun as soon as possible.""Yeah, whatever," Link said as he stomped inside his house. He pulled the fairy out of the bottle roughly and pointed it at his grandmother. "See, there's the person you have to heal! Now get to it!" Link said, throwing the fairy over to the old lady.

"Free!" the fairy shouted, and she started to do a little dance before finally moving over to the grandmother and spinning around a few times.

The fairy then went flying into the ceiling in an attempt to get out, but she wasn't as good at getting out of buildings like the last one had been. She kept flying into the same spot in the ceiling over and over again, giving the spot an annoyed tap with her wand every now and then. Link was about to suggest she try the open door, when his grandmother _finally_ woke up. This, of course, distracted Link and made him forget all about the stupid fairy until a long time later. "Link, is that you?" his grandmother asked.

"Well yeah! I want soup!" Link said, stomping the floor with his foot.

"Oh, you and Aryll have been so brave. I am your grandmother, I should be brave too!"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Link, don't do anything stupid, ok?"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing… um, soup! Who wants soup?" his grandmother asked, desperately changing the subject.

"Soup! Yum!" Link shouted happily. His grandmother made up some of her delicious soup in just a few minutes.

 "Here you go dear!"

"Muhahahahaha! It's all mine! Soup, yum!"

"I'm so nice, I even gave you enough for two!" his grandmother said happily.

Link looked at her suspiciously, "I'm not sharing it with you if that's what you're trying to hint at!"

"Um, I was just saying you have enough to last you for quite awhile…"

"Oh, well that's ok then! Well, I've got to go and get some stupid pearl from a giant fish! So long loser!" Link shouted as he ran out of the house, clutching his soup happily. In his eagerness to get back to his boat, he accidentally ran into the pot lady and her grandfather, who were just coming in. During the initial surprise, Link dropped his precious bottle and spilt the soup all over the floor. "Nooooooo!"

"Oh, you should have put that in your pocket!" the pot lady said.

"Yes, thank you, stupid pot lady!" Link grumbled as he picked up the now empty bottle and got a refill from his grandmother. "Now, so long losers!" Link shouted, and he went running off yet again.

"Did you say hello to everyone yet?" the boat asked in an impatient voice the minute Link appeared on the dock.

"Yes! And I got SOUP!!" Link shouted, hugging the bottle.

"…Ok then, ready to go?"

"Yep!" Link happily leaped into the boat and threw the sail up. "So, where is this fish anyway?" Link asked as they began to circle the island.

"I'd say that he was near the giant whirlpool," the boat said in a patient voice.

"Really? Where's that?"

"Link?"

"Yeah?"

"We're in the giant whirlpool right now."

"We are? Well lookey there! I was wondering why we weren't getting anywhere!"

"No you weren't! You didn't even notice!" the boat said.

"Alright Larry, calm down. What do we now?"

"What do you think?"

"If I thought, don't you think I wouldn't have asked you what to do next?!" Link asked as the little boat was tossed around in the whirlpool that they were now trapped in. "Wait, that came out wrong…" Link said.

"Link just shoot the stupid cannon at the stupid cliff so we can talk to Jabun!" the boat shouted, his patience gone once again. "Ok! That sounds like fun!" Link said as he tossed himself into the cannon before lighting it. "What are you doing?!" the boat shouted.

"Um, shooting the cannon… what does it look like?" Link asked as he calmly waited for the cannon to fire him at the cliff.

"I can't believe this." the boat said as he watched Link get thrown into the area he had been aiming for. "That's even the wrong spot you fool!" the boat shouted as Link fell into the ocean. "I'll just do it myself!"

So the boat fired his cannon on his own until there was a large hole in the cliff's side, leading deep into a type of cavern. He drifted over to Link, who was beginning to sink deeper into the ocean as he got more tired. "Well it's about time!" Link shouted. "Hey look, the giant whirlpool is gone!"

"Wow, you noticed! Good for you!" the boat said sarcastically.

"Thanks!"

The boat sighed, "Let's just go get the pearl."

Link sailed the boat through the hole, sipping on his soup as they went. The cavern that they were in was huge. It was mostly dark, except for a small light that appeared to be underwater. "Well, where is he? I thought it would be easy to find a giant fish!" Link said disappointedly.

"He's under the water you fool!"

"Well, why doesn't he come out! I can't swim underwater, unless I drown…"

"No Link, you aren't going to kill yourself. He'll come up when he's ready."

"Boring!" Link shouted, his voice echoing off of the walls.

"Be quiet already!" the boat shouted.

"Yeah, because the last thing we want is the fish to wake up, stupid Larry!"

The boat sighed tiredly. Link got tired of listening to his echo after awhile and he was finally quiet. After a few minutes of that, he got tired of being quiet and he started to shout some more. "I like echoes, they're fun!" Link shouted, much to the annoyance of the boat, who had just started to get used to the silence. Finally Link couldn't take it anymore and he took his boomerang out and tossed it into the water. He sighed when all it did was float there. Next he tried the grappling hook, but the rope got wet and then he didn't feel like trying to throw it again. "Uh, Link, what are you doing?" the boat asked when he noticed Link was starting to aim the cannon towards the light that was under the water. "I'm waking up the fish! I'm bored!" Link said as he finally figured out what was supposed to be fired from the cannon and he loaded a bomb into it. "Link, I don't think that-" the rest of the boat's thought was drowned out by the sudden boom from the cannon and then Link's gleeful laugh. Link started to regret doing this, however, when suddenly the giant fish started to rise from underneath them, creating giant waves that nearly pushed them back out of the cavern. The minute the fish was floating on the surface, it started to curse at Link in the same language that the Deku Tree had used.

Meanwhile, the boat appeared to be pretending that the fish was saying something completely different. He responded to the fish's curses with phrases like: "No, he is not the Hero of Time, but I sense great promise in him" (when Link heard this he laughed out loud at the little boat). Finally the fish was done yelling at Link and he threw his pearl at him in an attempt to knock him out. Sadly though, the fish had a horrible aim as well, and the pearl ended up landing next to Link's head, but not on it. Disappointed, the fish went back into the depths of his cavern, hoping to get some more sleep. "Aw man, I forgot I wanted to tease him!" Link said sadly as the boat turned around and started to head back outside. When they exited the cave, they found that storm had stopped. "Hooray! Now we can have a picnic!" Link said, clapping his hands happily.

"We don't have time for that, we need to set these pearls in the ancient statues to summon the Tower of the Gods," the boat said as he just drifted around since Link didn't seem to show any interest in steering anywhere. Link pouted, "Tower of the Gods? Lame! I say we go to a tropical island! With fruit!"

Larry stared at him, "We aren't doing that. Now get moving, we have three islands to visit!"

"Alright fine!"

They arrived at the first island in just a few hours. Link quickly hopped out of the boat and ran over to a strange looking statue. "Oh it's so ugly!" Link said as he neared it.

"Young waker of the winds, place the pearl in my hands." the statue said in a soft voice.

"Never! It's mine!"

"Just give the statue the pearl Link!" the boat shouted at him.

"Oh fine!" Link grumbled as he placed one of his pearls in the statue's hands. Link waited for awhile but when nothing happened he started to kick the statue in his frustration. "You put the wrong pearl in you fool!" that boat shouted over to him. "You have to look at the symbol on the pearl and match it with the statue's!"

"Oh!" Link happily removed the pearl and tried another one, only to start kicking it again when nothing happened.

"Try the other one!" the boat shouted in a frustrated voice.

"Fine." Link removed that pearl and stuck in the last one, giving the statue another kick for good measure. Suddenly the statue began to glow for a few seconds before it went back to its original appearance. "That's it?" Link asked disappointedly.

"We need to put the last two pearls in," the boat said as Link trudged dejectedly back to the shore.

"This is sooooo hard!" Link announced as they went on their way to the next island.

"What's hard about it? You stick the pearl in, and then you leave," the boat said.

"Exactly! What's _not _hard about it!"

The boat sighed impatiently as he kept his eyes peeled for the next island, since he couldn't count on Link to do anything.

…one day later…

They had finally reached the last island with a statue on it. "Last pearl Link!" the boat said happily.

"Yay!" Link shouted as he ran over to the statue. "Here you go!" Link said to the statue after it demanded the pearl from the boy. The statue began to glow just like the others had, but unlike the others, it started to glow even more. "It's gonna blow!" Link shouted, but he just stood there, staring at the statue to see if it really would. And it did. It sent Link flying as the statue blew up, leaving behind a pretty statue of one of the goddesses that the Hylians worshipped. From his vantage point up in the sky, Link was able to watch a light beam stretch over from the statue to one of the others. Eventually they had created a triangle, and in the center of this triangle rose a large tower. Link landed roughly on top of this tower, while the boat gave a grimace, "Great, now he won't have to do any of the tests in there!" the boat said grumpily.

Link stood up and gave a mischievous grin when he saw a large bell that was just sitting in front of him. He grabbed onto it with his grappling hook and began to swing around in an attempt to pull it down and break it. Fortunately for the bell, it had been built on a strong stand, so all that ended up happening was Link just rang it a few times before dropping back to the ground with a pout. "That was a lame test!" Link shouted down at the boat. "Oooooo, what's that?" Link asked, pointing down at a small circle of light that had appeared on the water's surface. "It's so shiny! I want it!" Link shouted, and he jumped down, pulling out his leaf just before he hit the water. "Wheeeee!" he said happily as he glided gently into the ocean. "I want it!" Link said again, pointing at the circle of light. The boat just stared at him. Link sighed, "Let me guess, we have to go in there."

"Yes," the boat said.

"Well I don't want to!"

"Just get over here already!"

"Alright fine!"

Link climbed aboard his ship and then steered it into the circle of light. The minute he did this the two started to sink down towards the ocean floor. "Nooooo!" Link shouted before he started holding his breath. The boat considered whether or not to tell the boy that he could actually breath in this place, but he decided against it, it was just funny. Link meanwhile, passed out from not breathing. When he woke up, Link found himself to be underwater in some sort of air-bubble. They were floating around in some sort of pond, which was next to a large castle. The only thing that caught Link's attention though was the fact that everything was black and white. "Oh my gosh! We're in an old movie! I don't want to be lame!" Link shouted.

"What are you talking about?" The boat asked in an annoyed tone. Link, however, was ignoring his boat as he started to run around in a panic, trying to find a way back up. "Link, cut that out!" the boat shouted at him. Link trudged over to him, looking around with a suspicious glare. "Now, I know that you are wondering where you are," the boat began.

"Not really, I already know where I am!" Link shouted.

"But there is no time to explain," Larry continued, deciding it would be best to just ignore Link for the time. "Everything will be made clearer when you retrieve the weapon that is here.

"Yeah, whatever," Link said before he went running towards the entrance to the castle. Inside, the first thing that caught Link's attention was the two large pictures that were hanging on the wall next to him. One of them was of a large, old man in red. And the other was of a princess surrounded by people who looked suspiciously like Tetra's crew. Link, however, didn't really think about this as he began to cackle happily when an idea hit him. He pulled out his grappling hook and used it to pull him up so that he was next to the picture of the princess. Then he pulled out a marker and drew a mustache and beard on her before moving over to the other picture. He was disappointed to see that the man already had facial hair, so he wrote down "I'm stoopid." next to him and added an arrow so that it pointed at the old king. Link then slid down and examined the remainder of the room.

The rest of the room was covered with statues that were scattered all about the floor. Most of them were of the monsters that Link had previously met, but there was one tall one that looked just like Link. And if this didn't boost his ego, nothing would. Link stared up at it with a dreamy expression on his face. "I'm famous already! Yay!" Link started to dance around the room, bumping into everything as he went. Soon the room was covered with dust as the statues fell to the ground and shattered the minute he rammed into them. He also moved the blocks that were in the center of the room, by accident of course. Some how, Link managed to move the blocks into their proper positions without even realizing it. He was so busy dancing that he didn't notice the blocks sink into the ground, and then a few seconds later he was equally oblivious to the large statue of him moving off to the side, revealing a set of stairs that led to the basement of the castle.

The only thing that stopped Link was the loud voice of his boat as he shouted at the boy. "Hey Link, if you're stuck on what to do with those blocks, there's a hint for you outside!"

"What are you talking about? There's no blocks here!" Link shouted back as he looked around confusedly. "There is a staircase here that I didn't notice before though! So long loser!" Link shouted as he went running down the stairs. In the basement there were large statues of armored swordsmen arranged in a circle. Link peered over at them and saw that they were surrounding a large sword that was stuck in a pedestal of sorts. "Ooooo, it's so shiny!" Link shouted, his voice echoing along the walls. "I want it!" he decided after a few seconds. He ran up to it and grabbed it, only to freeze when the statues suddenly started to move. "The statues are falling!" Link shouted as he ran away from the pedestal. He watched as the statues dropped their swords part way and then stopped again. Link stared at them suspiciously before cautiously approaching the sword again. Link grabbed the sword again and started to pull on it. A few minutes later and he was still trying to get it out. "Oh you stupid sword! Take this!" Link shouted after awhile. He threw his boomerang at it, but it didn't help him to get the sword out. He was just about to give up when suddenly a large seagull came swooping in and landed on Link's head with a loud squawk. "Oh no, it can't be…" Link said, staring in fear at the doorway. Suddenly a loud laugh came floating down to him. "Ahhahahaha! I have complete control over the seagulls!" shouted a voice that Link knew well.

Aryll joined him at the pedestal a few seconds later, skipping along, her little pigtails bobbing up and down. "What is taking you so long slacker!?" she shouted at him, shooting an annoyed glare at him.

"It won't come out," Link said sadly, pointing at the sword and starting to suck his thumb. Aryll gave a disgusted sigh, "You need to work out more!" she said as she pulled the sword out with ease. "Yay! You got it! Gimme, I found it first!" Link shouted, making a grab for the sword. But even though he was taller than the girl, he somehow failed at grabbing it. "I got it out!" Aryll protested as she admired the shiny new sword.

"Yeah, well, I passed the test in the Tower of the Gods! So ha!" Link said smugly.

"No you didn't, you just fell on top of the stupid tower!" Aryll said.

"Hey, how did you know that?" Link asked, beginning to pout again.

"Ahahahahaha! I have complete control of the seagulls!"

"…Ok, so?"

"Well duh! They're spying on you fool!" Link gave a high pitched scream and swatted at the bird that was still happily perched on his hat. The bird gave an annoyed squawk and then went flying off. "How did you even get here?" Link asked, making another attempt to get the sword, and failing yet again.

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out," Aryll paused for awhile in thought. "Which will never happen, so, I got here by using Ganondorf's boat!"

"Ganondorf?! But he's the badguy!" Link whined. "I can't believe you brought him here, Larry is going to be very mad at you!" he said with an evil cackle.

"Yeah, whatever," Aryl said, copying her brother without even realizing it.

"Where is he now anyway?" Link asked after awhile.

"He's waiting for me upstairs, we've come to an agreement."

"What's that?"

"An agreement means that we've made a mutual consent," Aryll said in a patient voice.

"I know what it means! I meant, what _is_ the agreement!"

"Oh, we are taking over the world together, and then we will try to kill each other. Whoever wins get to be Empress!"

"I say that because it's obvious that Ganondorf isn't going to win." Aryll said, scowling at Link's amused expression. "Oh let's just go!" she shouted at him, and went skipping back upstairs.

Link gasped when he realized that she still had the Master Sword. "Wait for me!" he shouted as he went running after his little sister. When they arrived at the top floor, they found the castle to be back in color. "It's all so pretty!" Link said as he gazed around. If Link hadn't ran around and smashed all of the statues, they would've had quite a battle on their hands when they were turned to life, but fortunately, Link's craziness had paid off for a change. Instead, they had to deal with Ganondorf, who was laughing in a deep voice. "I now know what Zelda looks like!" he said, pointing up at the picture that Link had previously drawn on. He turned to face Aryll and Link, "Oh, that must be your stupid brother," he said in a conversational tone.

"Howdy!" Link shouted at him.

"Link, why are you shouting?" Aryll asked him with a confused expression.

"I don't know!" he shouted at her.

Aryll gave another disgusted sigh, "Whatever, let's go Ganondorf, now that we have the Master Sword, none can stop me… I mean us!"

Link pouted and stomped his foot on the stone floor, "I wanted the Master Sword, it's not fair!" he said sadly.

"Well get used to it!" Aryll said and went skipping off next to her tall partner, who was skipping around as well. Link stared at this scene for awhile before he pulled out his grappling hook and started to swing it around. He tossed it with a yell, but missed what he had been aiming for. He had wanted to go back up to the pictures to add more stuff, but he accidentally grabbed the Master Sword instead. "Darn!" He said as he pulled it towards him.

"Link, give that back!" Aryll shouted at him.

"Never!" Link shouted back before he went running outside through the back entrance. He ran along a road for awhile until he was sent flying back suddenly by an invisible force shield. "It's the edge of the world!" Link said, poking this strange thing with his sword. He didn't have much time to examine it, however, when out of nowhere a whole flock of seagulls came swarming over to him, trying to grab the sword. "Nooooo!" Link screamed as he ran the other way. Somehow he managed to make it past both Ganondorf and Aryll and to the safety of his boat (although the fact that the two antagonists weren't paying attention and were playing a game of hopscotch could have had something to do with it). "Hurry Larry! To the real world!" Link shouted as he threw the sail up. "Yeah! Here we go, full speed!"

"Uh, Link?" the boat said cautiously.

"What now?"

"We aren't moving…"

"What? Darn!" Link threw the sail back down when he saw that there was no wind where they were. He quickly got out and pushed the little boat back into the ring of light before hopping back in again. The two were soon floating back up towards the surface; Link, once again, held his breath till he passed out, much to the boat's amusement.

Link woke up to the boat's persistent and anxious voice. "What now Larry!?" Link shouted as he sat up.

"We're headed straight for a giant squid, that's what!!" Larry shouted.

"So?" Link asked calmly. "Move away from the giant squid." And with that Link lied back down to try and get some more sleep.

"I can't move away, because one: I can't put the sail up, that's your job, and two: we're stuck in a giant whirlpool!" Larry said angrily. Link sat up with a scream and leaned over the edge to get a better look. "We don't have anything to defeat that!" Link shouted as the giant squid that was near them started to pull them closer. "Well, maybe you should've done the Tower of the Gods right!" Larry said. "Then you would have a bow and some arrows."

"Um, take this!" Link shouted, throwing his boomerang at the squid. He completely missed though, and he ended up grabbing a rupee that had been in back of the giant monster. "Money!" Link shouted, and threw the boomerang again, no longer caring about his predicament. However, since he was aiming for the money this time, he hit the squid instead. The squid, who had just wanted to give his visitors a big hug, went back underwater with a sob. "Ahha! I got it!" Link said happily. He was about to do his victory dance when suddenly a giant fairy came out of nowhere. "Oh thank you so much for rescuing me from the giant squid!" she said.

"Yeah, whatever," Link said with a roll of his eyes.

"In return for your help, I will double your magic meter!"

"…But I don't even have a magic meter to begin with!" Link protested.

"Oh, well in that case I'll triple it for you!" The fairy hit him rather hard with her wand and then went flying off, laughing loudly.

"Those fairies are scary!" Link declared as he rubbed his sore head.

"Link, it is now time to rescue your sister!" Larry announced out of the blue.

"… But she doesn't need rescuing! Have you not been paying attention?!" Link shouted, hitting his boat over the head with his grappling hook.

"Well fine, be that way!" the boat snapped. "Where would _you_ like to go?"

"Me? I already told you where I wanted to go! A tropical island that has fruit!" Link said, throwing the sail up and just letting the wind take them in a random direction. "You don't even know where to go!" the boat said.

"No, but the wind does, and I am the waker of the winds! Muhahahahaha!"

"That's stupid, where'd you hear that one?"

"I made it up! I have this here wind thingy, so I am the wind waker!" Link said, waving a the wind baton in front of Larry's face. The boat simply gave another tired sigh.

…two days later…

"Come on, where's the tropical island?" Link whined as they sailed farther north. The sun was just setting when Link finally spotted an island in the distance. "Yay! Fruit!" he said happily. A few minutes later and he started to scream as they nearly got hit by an exploding barrel. "Oh, they're everywhere!" Link shouted as he ran head on into another one. "Would you mind steering already?!" the boat said as two more barrels exploded next to them. Link paid no attention to the boat as he merely grabbed the tiller so he had something to hold on to as the explosions rocked the small boat. Finally they cleared the dangerous waters, only to find that they had been approaching the Forsaken Fortress. "Noooooo!" Link shouted as they rammed through the large doors and entered the Fortress, barely avoiding all the bombs that were being shot at them. Link quickly pulled the sail in before they crashed. "How are we going to get out of here?" Link asked with a pout. The crazy monsters that were in charge of guarding the fortress were still trying to shoot at Link and his boat, even though they were now out of range. "You'll have to get rid of the spotlights so that we can sneak out!" the boat said cheerfully.

"But I don't want too!" Link protested.

He was ignored, however, as Larry gave Link a shove in the direction of the stairs, "Get going Link!" he said, happy to be left alone for awhile.

"Fine!" Link shouted, and he went stomping off. But, Link, who had no sense of direction at all (and also hardly any memory), accidentally went the wrong way and ended up back in the jail where his sister and the other girls had been previously held. The cell was now empty, of course, but this didn't stop Link from fully entering the room anyway. "I'm here!" he announced for no particular reason. Suddenly a ghost who closely resembled Ganondorf appeared. "There you are! I've been looking all over you!" the ghost said grumpily.

"Me?" Link asked in a small voice.

"It is now time for, tennis! One on one!" the ghost shouted, throwing a tennis ball at Link and hitting him right on his nose.

"Ow! Stupid ghost, no one messes with Super Link! Take this!" Link shouted as he threw the tennis ball back at the ghost. The ghost didn't seem to notice this however, as he suddenly started to spin around in the air. "Wheeeee!" he shouted, right before the tennis ball hit him. "Noooooo! You've destroyed me!" the ghost shouted as it slowly started to disappear. "That was easy," Link said.

The ghost left behind a large chest with a note taped to it as it faded into nothingness. Link opened the chest first and pulled out a large hammer, Link's only comment was: "Oh it's ugly!" before he stuffed it into his giant pocket. Next he examined the note, it read:

Dear Link,

Ahhahahahaha, I have complete control of the seagulls!

The End

-Aryll

"What's that got to do with anything?!" Link shouted as he started to make his way back to the large door. Before he could leave though, Tetra and her crew came running in, panting from running for so long. "What is wrong with you!?" Tetra asked as she slapped Link yet again. "You keep running into things without thinking!"

"Hey, it's what I do!" Link said with a wave of his hand.

"I noticed," Tetra said with a frown. "We had to distract that bird from you, it was just about to attack you again! Hey, what's that? Is that the Master Sword?"

"Yes, and you can't have it! Muhahahaha!"

"I didn't say I wanted it you fool! But now that you mention it, it is kind of pretty…" Tetra was just about to demand the sword from him when the giant bird she had been talking about before came crashing through the ceiling with a loud screech. "Oh darn, I guess we were distracting the wrong bird, oh well!" Tetra said as her crew went running back to their ship. "Good luck Link!" she said, and left as well.

"Wait for me!" Link shouted after her.

But before he could make it outside, the door sealed shut with a clang and water began to flood the room from below. "I can't swim!" Link shouted, and he began to run up the walkways that had magically appeared, making his way up to the roof. He had almost made it when suddenly the giant bird landed in front of him and bent his head down so he could get a better look at the little guy he was chasing. The bird was just about to suggest a truce when Link pulled out his hammer and smacked him on the beak with it. "Muhahahaha! Take that!" the boy shouted gleefully as the bird fell down towards the flooded room below. "Well that was easy too!" Link said as he happily jumped up onto the roof. The only way to go now was a small pathway that led up to a large room. Link was making his way towards this when the bird suddenly flew out onto the roof as well, screeching angrily. Link screamed and started to try and make a run for it, but spikes came out of nowhere and blocked his way. "Oh no! I don't want to die!" Link started to cry. Annoyed by this boy, the bird started to flap his wings angrily at Link to try and push him into the spikes that Link was standing dangerously close too. But the bird hadn't expected Link to be so light, so instead the boy was sent flying right over the spikes and through the window of the large room. The bird gave a sad sigh and then went back to its nest.

Meanwhile, Link had landed right next to Ganondorf, who was currently being forced by Aryll to attend one of her many tea parties. "Would Mr. Teddybear like more tea?" Ganondorf asked, trying to sound like he really cared so as not to anger the scary little girl.

"That's _Miss_Teddybear you dolt! Do you not see the ribbons on her head?!" Aryll shouted angrily.

"But Mr. Cow has ribbons!" Ganondorf protested.

"That's because he's a cow! All cows have ribbons! Oh hi Link," Aryll said, waving at her brother who was trying to sneak outside.

"Hi Aryll, hi Ganondorf," Link said miserably.

"Ahha! Finally, someone to fight!" Ganondorf shouted as he stood up from the miniature table he had been forced to sit at.

"Well fine, I'll just make your army attend instead!" Aryll said and went marching off, her seagulls carrying all of her things for her. Ganondorf assumed a serious air before turning to Link. "So Link, do you remember when color returned to that castle under the sea?" he asked.

He then gave a sigh when Link started to sing, "Under the sea! Under the sea! Under the-"

"Stop that!"

"Oh fine! Stupid Ganondorf!"

"Now, you see, that little sword that you pulled out is like a key."

"Ooooo really? What does it unlock? Does it unlock a chest that holds lots of money?"

"No."

"Aw man!"

"Now be quiet! The Master Sword had previously held my powers away from me, but now that you have pulled it out, I am all powerful! Gwahahahaha!"

"Yeah, whatever."

"You cannot defeat me now! The Master Sword's power is gone!"

"No it's not!" Link argued, even though he didn't know anything about it.

"…Yes it is!"

"I'll prove it to you!" Link gave out a scream before trying to hit the tall man with his new sword. But, as usual, Link completely missed his target and hit the wall instead. Caught off balance, the boy tripped on the carpet and fell to the ground. "Darn! Let me try again!"

"No!" Ganondorf said, his patience starting to wane. "I will kill you now! Gwahahahaha!"

"Darn!" Link said, pouting. Before Ganondorf could do anything though, Tetra came out of nowhere and started to battle the evil man. "Link get up already!" Tetra said when she managed to get a break. "Never! I found money!" Link said. Tetra and Ganondorf paused for a few seconds to watch as Link crawled around on the floor, going under all the furniture and picking up a few green rupees that had been lying around. "That's mine!" Ganondorf shouted, grabbing Tetra as she started to jump around, trying to find some rupees herself. Ganondorf was about to grab the rupees that were already in the pirate's hands when suddenly the design on his own hand started to glow.

He pulled back in surprise, "How is this possible? I saw the picture of Zelda and she looks nothing like you! Did you shave?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not Zelda!" Tetra said, crossing her arms and waiting impatiently for him to put her down.

"You fool, I drew on those pictures!" Link shouted at him, starting to cackle maniacally.

"Ah, I see, you were trying to trick me into looking for someone else! You can't fool me! At last I have found you Princess!" Ganondorf started to laugh his evil laugh along with Link. "How long is this going to go on for? Do you have an estimate?" Tetra asked in an annoyed voice. Before either of the two laughing men could answer though, both Link and Tetra were suddenly whisked away by two of the bird peoples. "Hey, I didn't get my money back yet!" Ganondorf protested, just as the large dragon Valoo appeared, shooting flames everywhere. "Well I didn't get my milkshake yet!" Valoo shouted back. Soon the two were entering a long and pointless argument as the two birds carried Link and Tetra to safety.

"I'll meet you all at the Tower of the Gods!" Larry shouted up at them as they flew past.

"Ok!" Quill shouted back. Along the way, Link was annoying Tetra by singing his under the sea song, until she finally shouted at him to shut up. Link gasped in surprise at this before he hit her with his boomerang, causing her to fall into unconsciousness. "Muhahahaha! I got you!" Link shouted happily. The four finally arrived at the Tower, where Larry was already waiting for them. The two birds (the other one was the prince) dropped Link and the pirate into the boat before reassuring Link that Tetra was only unconscious. "I know that!" Link shouted at them.

"Don't worry Link, your sister is safe!" the prince said happily.

"Nooooo!"

"Thank you for your assistance," Larry said to the birds. "Right now, I think it would be best to get these two away from Ganondorf for awhile."

"Muhahahaha! So long losers!" Link shouted as the boat re-entered the circle of light.

Once they arrived (Link had held his breath again on the way down, but this time he hadn't passed out, he was obviously getting stronger lungs) Tetra awoke. She slapped Link for throwing the boomerang at her and then questioned him as to where they were and where Ganondorf had gone. "We're under the sea!" Link said, and he began his song all over again. Tetra slapped him again, and would've done it for a fourth time that day had she not been interrupted by her blue stone. She pulled it out curiously. "Hey, meet me at the basement of this place Link," said the voice of Larry through the stone.

"Stupid Larry, you're getting lazy! You don't even talk on your own anymore!" Link said, pointing an accusing finger at the boat.

"Who is this? How are you using my stone?" Tetra demanded.

"You will see!" Larry's voice said mysteriously.

"Link, take me to the basement of this place, I've got a few things to say to the guy who's using my stone!" Tetra said.

"Never!" Link shouted, and went running inside. He ran downstairs, only to find that Tetra had been following him, so he ended up showing her where the basement was anyway. "Darn!" Link said sadly.

"Who are you?" Tetra demanded suddenly. Link turned to see who she was looking at and saw a large man with his back turned to them, standing where the sword used to be. "Are you the one who is using my stone?" she asked angrily.

"…Maybe," the man said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tetra asked, crossing her arms.

"I made the stones! I should be able to use them!" the man said, and started to cry.

"Now look at what you did!" Link scolded Tetra as he went over to the man. "Oh hey look, it's Stupid!" Link shouted excitedly as he recognized the man that had been in the other picture. Unfortunately, hearing this did nothing to make the man feel better, if anything it made him cry more. "Oh grow up already!" Tetra shouted. The man stopped crying, but every now and then his long speech that was coming up was interrupted by sniffling. "I am King Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule! Teehee!" the man said. The two kids were quiet for awhile as they tried to figure out why he had said 'teehee'. "Link, you must recognize my voice?" the king said.

"Hmmmm, not really."

"Well how about this: Link you fool! You have to clear the rocks first!" the king shouted.

"Larry? Is that you? You're alive now! Hooray for you!" Link said, hugging the king happily.

"Get off! I've been alive this whole time… well sort of, I'm actually a ghost! Teehee!"

"Um, anyway, Tetra, come here!"

"What do you want?" Tetra asked grumpily, but she walked over to the king anyway.

"That necklace that you wear is actually a treasure from the royal family!" the king said.

"Treasure?" Link asked, perking up.

"It is time to reveal your true destiny." the king said as he placed her necklace piece into another piece to form a small triangle. At this point Link remembered that he loved treasure and he pushed Tetra out of the way and grabbed it himself. "Money!" he shouted, only to find himself a few seconds later to be wearing a pretty dress and covered in makeup. "Nooooo!"

"Give me that!" the king said, swiping the piece of Triforce away from the boy and handing it to Tetra. The minute the piece left Link's hands he returned back to his regular clothes. "Yay! That there is evil treasure!" Link shouted as he hid behind the king. A few minutes later Tetra had transformed into her true form. "Why is she a frog?" Link asked as Tetra croaked angrily and started to hop towards the king.

"Oops, that was the wrong piece! Teehee!" the king said happily. He grabbed the triforce from Tetra, broke it back into two pieces, and then put Tetra's piece with another one that the king had pulled out of his pocket.

"There we go!" The king tossed this new triangle to Tetra, and a few seconds later she was the princess Zelda.

"Yay!" Link said for no apparent reason, he just liked cheering sometimes.

"Now Link, you will have to restore power to the Master Sword before we can defeat Ganondorf," the king said while Tetra was still examining her strange glowing hand. "But I don't want to!" Link protested.

"Well you have to! So there!"

"Fine."

"You will have to talk to the two sages that reside on two different islands back on the surface. We need to find out what happened to them! Zelda, you'll have to stay here because Ganondorf is looking for you and he doesn't know about this place yet."

"Um, yeah, about that…" Link said hesitantly. "He was sort of here already."

"What?! Oh well, maybe we'll get lucky and he won't come back! Teehee! Link, meet me back at the boat!"

"Yeah, whatever." Link said and started to run back after the king had vanished. "Hey Link, um, I'm sorry for all that has happened…" Tetra/Zelda began. "Don't do anything stupid ok?" she said, just as Link was about to assure her that she didn't have to be sorry.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" he shouted.

"Um, nothing?"

"Hmm, ok then! So long loser!" Link said as he went running back outside. He began to cackle maniacally as he pushed the giant statue of himself back over the exit so Tetra couldn't get out. "Loser!" he shouted again before running back outside.

* * *

I just realized that I have completly forgotten about the talking fish that fills in the seachart for you! I might get him in later, I'm not sure though, sorry to everyone who really loves the fish... I also noticed that the king's personality differed from when he was a boat (what with all the teeheeing), I didn't mean for that to happen, it just sort of turned out that way. Also I may not be able to get a chapter up by tomorrow, I'm sort of behind, sorry. And don't ask me how I got the idea for Ganondorf acting the way he did earlier, I was writing this and I just suddenly got this image of the man skipping around and doing nothing of use and I just _had_ to put it in, lol. Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry I took so long getting this one up! I managed to get the talking fish in for this one, and in answer to sakurahanaalice's question: yes, Link does get the bow, in this very chapter in fact!

Also, to sakurahanaalice's brother: You're absolutely right, I'll have Link steal something next time he goes to Hyrule! And I completely forgot about the auction house, thanks for reminding me! I'll put it in the next chapter somewhere. As for the pearls, they're sort of stuck in those statues right now, I could have Link try and get them back, but probably the only thing that'll end up happening is that he'll nearly get himself killed as he tries to throw his bombs and/or boomerang at it, lol.

Also, I forgot to mention earlier that I do accept anonymous reviews, so if you like being secretive and mysterious, and wearing cool ninja outfits... well, now you can!

* * *

Chapter 5

The Wind and Earth Sages

Link and the king of Hyrule, who was now back to possessing the little red boat, had traveled for days before they finally reached their destination, only to have the way into the Earth Temple blocked by a large stone. After Link had exhausted all of his ideas on the rock (throwing his boomerang at it until he knocked himself out by getting hit one to many times by the weapon, throwing his grappling hook at hit, and using his bombs to throw himself at the rock), Larry/the king of Hyrule decided that they needed something else. So after Link gave the rock a good kick for annoying him, he marched back to the boat and started to put the sail up. Before he could, however, a large fish jumped out of the water and smacked poor Link on the face with one of its fins. Link screamed and jumped into the water. "The fish won't get me in here!" Link said happily, only to jump back out of the water in fear when the fish gave his foot a nudge. Link jumped back into the boat and peered fearfully down into the clear water. " 'Hoy there small fry!" said a scratchy voice from the other side of the boat. Link gave another scream and turned around; the fish's head was poking out of the water and he was waving with a large fin. "Booooo, it talks! Kill the evil fish!" Link shouted and started to try and hit it with his boomerang.

The fish ignored this and started to go on this long speech about how he was a talking fish (Link paused from his failing attacks long enough to shout out "Well duh!"), and that there were more of him around, and that they liked bait. "I'm not giving you any bait!" Link shouted. "It's all mine, muhahahahaha!" Link said before he started to chew on the bait that he had in his bait bag. The boat simply watched all of this with an amused expression. "So, I noticed you were trying to get into the Earth Temple? I know of a place that can help you get rid of the rock, small fry!" the fish said, moving slightly to the left to avoid Link's grappling hook.

"I'm not small, I'm Super Link! And what's a fry anyway?"

"Beats me! Anyway, you have to go to an island that is made up of a volcano that just never quits. You have to find a way of getting inside said volcano, and inside is the treasure!"

"Treasure? I love treasure!" Link shouted, ceasing his attacks on the fish so he could listen better.

"Just head, um… south? Yeah, south!" the fish said uncertainly.

"Ok then!" Link said happily, starting to get his sail ready.

He stopped when the fish cleared his throat, "Ahem! Aren't you forgetting something? Like maybe rewarding the little fish who helped you?"

"You're right!" Link said, reaching into his pocket. "Take this!" he shouted, shooting at the fish with his bow.

"Hey, how did you get that!?" the boat asked as Link kept shooting (and missing) at the fish.

"Um, I found it," Link said.

"When? I don't remember that!"

"Silence fool! We must go south now!" Link shouted, and he threw the sail up, completely forgetting about the fish who was muttering to himself about good for nothing kids. They arrived at the previously mentioned island in less than a day. "Oh no! It's a volcano!" Link shouted.

"That's what the fish said!" the boat said impatiently. "Well…good luck getting in!"

"But it's scary in there!" Link protested as he tried to put one foot on the hot ground. "It's too hot too!"

"Well what did you expect? It's a _volcano_."

"Oh boooooo! I know, I'll use my wind baton!"

"What good will that do?" the boat asked. He was ignored though as Link started to wave his wind baton around in random directions. He managed to play the wind's requiem a few times, and the song that turns day into night and the other way around. "Nothing is happening!" Link said in a surprised voice.

"No kidding."

Suddenly the two were sucked into a giant tornado! In the very center of this cyclone was a large frog who looked just like the one Link had met at Dragon Roost Island, except for a difference in color. "Ahha! That's the crazy brother I'm supposed to shoot should I ever meet him!" Link said, happy that he actually had a reason this time for shooting at something. The boat sighed, "We're dead." he said as he remembered all the other times Link had tried to hit something.

"No we're not, we're super heroes!" Link shouted before shooting a volley of arrows at the giant frog. But the boat was right, and the strong winds forced the arrows around and back to the person who had fired them. "Nooooo!" Link shouted, ducking to avoid the sharply pointed sticks. Suddenly the giant frog began to laugh as the two were sent flying higher and higher through the air. "Foolish mortals! You cannot defeat me, take this!" he shouted at them before sending them flying towards the north. Link's scream could be heard by all the inhabitants of the islands that they passed over during their flight. They eventually landed inside a hollowed out mountain type thing.

"Great, how are we supposed to get out of here?" Link asked, beginning to pout. Before his boat could answer him though, a fairy in the form of a creepy little girl appeared out of nowhere. "Hi there! I am the leader of all the fairies, and I'll give you a gift!" she said, tossing her little doll around.

"Yeah, whatever," was the only thing Link said. He then gave a high pitched scream when two smaller fairies, one blue and the other red, came flying straight at him and hit him several times with their little wands. "Stop that!" Link shouted, swatting away at the little fairies. Larry watched, trying to keep himself from laughing. Eventually he couldn't hold back anymore and he let out a loud "Teehee!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him. The two little fairies finally went back to hitting Link, and after awhile they went flying off, shouting something about finding someone else to hit now that they were finally freed. "What was all that for!?" Link shouted at the creepy little girl/fairy.

"That was for your bow which just magically appeared a few days ago! Now you can shoot out ice and fire!"

"Yay! Maybe I can use this to get inside the scary volcano which will probably lead to my death!" Link thought over what he had said for a few minutes before screaming. "I don't want to die!" he shouted.

"Link, you know what?" the fairy said thoughtfully.

"What?" Link asked cautiously.

"You're just my type!" she giggled.

"Yeah, whatever."

The fairy gasped, "How dare you speak to me that way! Be gone from this place!" she shouted as she threw her doll at Link.

"Oh it's scary!" Link shouted as he threw the doll back.

"Take this!" the fairy shouted, this time waving her wand around. Larry/the king of Hyrule and Link were sent flying all the way back to the volcano island.

"Yay! Now to get the treasure!" Link said as he pulled his bow out. He set it so it would shoot out fire arrows before firing non-stop at the very top of the mountain.

"Link you fool, you're supposed to use ice!" Larry said impatiently.

"Oh but, I'm fighting fire with fire," Link said, confused as to why it wasn't working.

"Just use the stupid ice!"

"Alright fine!"

A few seconds later and the volcano's non-stop fire spewing had stopped. "Hurry, you only have a little bit of time before the volcano melts the ice that's blocking it!" Larry said.

"The treasure is all mine now!" Link started to cackle maniacally as he went running off. A few minutes later and he was seen running the other way as he tried to find a way to climb up the mountain. The boat watched Link's slow progress as he jumped around on the mountain, trying to climb up and then falling a few minutes later. Finally Link grew tired of this and so he pulled out his grappling hook and used it to climb up that way. Eventually he reached the very top of the mountain and a few seconds later he was falling into the depths of the volcano and being attacked by bats that were on fire. Link screamed and went running off, just barely managing to stay on the thin path that was surrounded by lava. He finally stumbled upon a large chest that, amazingly enough, hadn't been destroyed when the volcano had been active. "Treasure!" Link shouted as he opened up the chest. The boy had been expecting something shiny that he could sell for a lot of money, but all that he got was a pair of bracelets. "Jewelry?!" Link shouted disappointedly. "I don't wear jewelry because I am a manly man!" he said, only to end up screaming a few seconds later as the bats finally spotted Link and started to head towards him. Link threw the bracelets at them to distract them while he ran to the only other opening, which just happened to be blocked by a large and heavy rock.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the bracelets came flying back and clamped themselves tightly to Link's wrists, much to his dismay. "Stupid bracelets!" He shouted, flinging his arms around in an attempt to get them off. He failed at that though, and so he ended up desperately trying to lift the rock as the bats got closer and closer. He was able to lift the rock with ease this time though, and Link proudly marched outside of the volcano, waving happily at Larry the minute he spotted him. "I am Super Link, I am able to lift rocks because I am super strong!" Link shouted down at him, right before a large and colorful bird came swooping down at him and pushed him off of the mountain top. Link fell to the ocean, screaming the whole way down.

…a little less than one day later…

"Here we are! The Earth Temple!" Link said happily as he jumped out of his boat and onto the shore. "Now remember Link, inside there should be the Earth Sage, so don't-"

"Shut up Larry! I know what to do!" Link interrupted as he marched over to the large rock and lifted it up. He slowly turned around, his large grin being blocked by the rock he was holding in front of him. "Uh, Link? What are you doing?" Larry asked uncertainly right before Link threw the rock at Larry with a laugh. "…You missed," Larry said, making Link stop his cackling. "Aw man!" Link shouted when he saw the rock just a few inches from where he was standing. "Fine, I'll get the stupid boat later!" Link grumbled, and he ran inside the temple. Inside there was a large slab made of rock with arrows on it pointing in different directions. Underneath these arrows were the words: these arrows seem to be pointing in specific directions…

"Well that's a lot of help!" Link said crossly. He sat around for awhile until Larry finally shouted from outside that he try the wind baton. "I don't think that'll do any good, but ok," Link said as he pulled out the aforementioned item and began to randomly wave it around. The boat sighed when all Link did was change the wind direction a few times and skip ahead a few days. "Link you fool, follow the arrows!"

"Alright fine!" Link shouted back. Link did as he was told, and a few seconds later he was playing a pretty song. After he had finished he started to clap for himself, when suddenly a strong gust of wind came into the room. Link grabbed his hat so it wouldn't go flying before turning around to face a tall person who resembled a fish. "Another fish!? Take this stupid fish!" Link shouted as he started to shoot his bow at the woman/fish. The arrows went right through her though, as she simply stared at him with a calm expression. "I am the Earth Sage, I was killed by Ganondorf."

"Haha!" Link shouted at her.

The sage ignored him, "You must find my replacement and bring him or her here."

"Oh oh, can I be the replacement?" Link asked, jumping up and down and raising his hand.

"…No."

"Darn!"

"You will know the person by the instrument the person carries. It resembles mine," the sage said.

"You mean the mini harp?" Link asked, beginning to get bored.

"Yeah… I guess. Good luck!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Link went running back outside, ignoring whatever else the sage had to say, and hopped back into his boat. "Hey Link, why don't we go back to Dragon Roost Island?" Larry said cheerfully.

"Because I don't want to that's why!" Link shouted.

"Well that's where the next sage is so hop to it!"

"Alright fine! Hey, how do you know the next sage is there?"

"Um… because I am the all knowing king, teehee!"

"Yeah, whatever," Link said as he steered the boat in the direction of Dragon Roost Island. After an hour or two Link started to get bored, so he demanded that Larry play a game with him. "Oh fine, how about I-spy!" Larry said finally.

"Yay! Game, game!" Link said, jumping up and down in joy and almost falling out of the boat.

"I spy something big and blue," Larry said.

"Um, um, really? Where? No, don't tell me! I got this one!" Link was silent for a long time until Larry finally got bored.

"It's the ocean you fool!"

"Oh yeah! Ok, I got one for you! I spy something big and blue!"

"You do? Um, don't tell me… I know this one… the ocean?"

"Wow you're good!" Link said, clapping for the boat.

"My turn! I spy something big and blue!"

"Really? Where?"

Suffice it to say, this went on the whole way, and both of them took forever to figure out what the other was looking at, even though they picked the same thing each time. After a few hours of this, they finally arrived at their destination. As they were too busy playing their game, however, and not paying attention, they ended up stranded on the beach and it took Link forever to push Larry back into the water. Once this was done Link went running off to the city where the bird people lived, completely forgetting that the last time he had visited them it hadn't exactly gone well. "I'm here!" Link announced the minute he arrived inside. Everyone else stopped what they were doing and turned around to look at the boy. Suddenly a loud voice shouted down, "It's the guy who stole the pearl, the wind baton, and my grappling hook! Get him!" Medli shouted. Link screamed as the birds started to swoop down at him, trying to grab him. Link ran in a blind panic up the ramp and outside through another door. Here he had a few minutes to rest as the birds had completely forgotten about him the minute he had disappeared. As Link recovered from his run, he could just make out the faint sounds of a harp being plucked. Link climbed further up the mountain with the help of his grappling hook and then stopped short when he saw Medli.

"But I just saw you inside! How did you get here so fast?" Link shouted at her.

Medli turned around in surprise, "Link! You came back!"

"…Well yeah! You were the one who announced it!"

"Oh, that must have been my crazy twin sister, she's psycho!" Medli said, pointing up in the sky where a Medli look-alike was twirling around in the sky and battling a flock of seagulls. "Huh," was the only thing Link could say. "Um, which one of you is the real Medli then?"

"Me!" both of them shouted at the same time.

Poor Link was extremely confused, but then he noticed the instrument that was in 'Medli's' hands. "Oh hey look! A mini harp!" he shouted, just remembering his mission.

"Yeah, I'm not that good at it…" she said right before playing an elaborate song.

"Show off," Link muttered. "Oh! I have an instrument too!" he shouted as he pulled out his wind baton. "Tada!"

"Oh wow! Are you going to conduct me?" Medli asked happily.

"No, I'm going to play a magical melody!" Link said as he waved the stick around in random directions, again. Somehow (no one knows how he managed it, not even the goddesses), Link played the song he had learned, and then forgotten, in the Earth Temple. "That's a boring song!" the psycho twin sister shouted down at them as she landed near Link.

"No it's not!" the other sister argued.

"Is!"

"Not!"

"Is!"

"Not!"

Link stared at the two twins as they bickered, wondering which one of these was the real sage. He hoped that it was the nice one and not the psycho one. But, it was just Link's luck when suddenly the psycho one grabbed her own harp and started to play the song that Link had. "See! Lame!" she shouted, right before collapsing. The other two watched her fall and hit her head on the hard ground, not even trying to help her. "What's up with her?" the bird asked, right before the psycho sister woke up.

"I, Medli, am the Earth Sage!" she shouted, starting to cackle happily.

"I'm Medli!" the other girl protested.

"Oh whoever you are, let's go!" Link shouted, grabbing the new sage and dragging her all the way back to his boat. Along the way they met the prince, who was standing on the balcony with a small flower. "Hey, play along," Medli whispered, suddenly remembering how to walk again. "Hey Komali! What's up?" Medli said in a fake sweet voice.

"I picked this flower for you!" the prince said happily.

"Awww, for me?" Link said.

"No, for Medli!" the prince said, scowling at the boy who had stolen his pearl.

"That's great Komali, but there's one problem…" Medli said.

"Oh?"

"I hate you! Muhahahaha, so long loser!" the bird shouted before grabbing Link and pulling him down the path.

"Wow, you're good!" Link said before joining in with her evil laughing.

The boat watched as the two kids came down the mountain, both of them cackling maniacally. Larry began to laugh too, trying to fit in, but by the time the other two were in hearing distance of the boat they had stopped laughing, so all that ended up happening was Larry ended up very embarrassed, and he was quiet the rest of the day. "Where are we going anyway?" Medli asked as Link threw the sail up. Since there was no room Link had made her sit on the very edge of the boat, in constant danger of falling off. "The Earth Temple, you have to do some crazy ritual so that power to the Master Sword is returned," Link said.

"How come I'm not sage of the Wind Temple? I'm the one who can fly!" Medli shouted, her speaking problems starting to come back.

"I don't know!" Link shouted back as they finally approached the temple.

"So long loser!" both Link and Medli shouted at Larry as they went skipping inside the temple.

"Ok, play the earth song!" Link demanded.

"Never!" Medli shouted.

"But you have to, otherwise I can never get my sword to glow!" Link said, starting to suck his thumb in his distress.

"Oh fine," Medli said as she pulled out her mini harp. She played the song, again, and then waited in silence for something to happen.

"Larry! It didn't work!" Link shouted outside. The boat's response was drowned out, however, when suddenly the large slab of rock blew up, hitting both Medli and Link in the head.

Both of the kids gasped at the rock's impudence and stomped on the remains of said rock. After awhile of doing this the two ran through the opening that had been covered by the rock before it blew up. After a long time of running away from scary monsters that popped out of nowhere and tried to eat them alive, the two finally arrived in a large room that had a bottomless pit of doom in it. Link had also received a new shield, but he refused to wear it because he liked his old one. Just as he was explaining this to Medli, he got a splinter from his old shield. "Splinter! Take this stupid shield!" Link shouted as he threw the wooden shield down the bottomless pit of doom before putting his new mirror shield on his back. "Hey, you dropped that! I'll get it!" Medli shouted before jumping down, following the shield into the bottomless pit of doom. "Medli, nooooooo!" Link shouted after her.

"Hey, there's these weird hand things moving around. I like them!" Medli could be heard shouting.

"Oh no, now she's going to be eaten and then… hey, she's going to be eaten! I'm freeeeeee!" Link shouted and started to dance a jig.

"Hey Link, I got your shield!" Medli shouted in his ear all of the sudden.

"Good feelings gone," Link said with a sigh. "Thanks, stupid bird."

"You're welcome stupid human! Now let's go!" Medli said (they had an interesting relationship). The two entered the next room, Medli was slightly in back of Link, zigzagging back and forth and talking to herself about collecting all of the golden feathers so no one else could get them, when suddenly the door they were passing under closed tight, separating Link and Medli. Link, the poor fellow, was stuck in the room with the giant ghost, and Medli was stuck with the bottomless pit of doom, which she promptly jumped into when she found she couldn't open the door (what else could one do?).

Meanwhile, Link was running around, trying to dodge the crazy giant ghost who was trying to hit the boy with his lantern. He was so busy running around that he didn't even notice the crazy guy with a flashlight who was running around above him, turning his light on and off at different places. Link ran through one of these spots at one point, and, fortunately for Link, the ghost had been right behind him. The light hit Link's new shield and bounced off of it, hitting the ghost. "Nooooo, you destroyed me!" the ghost shouted, startling Link and causing him to stop and turn around. Meanwhile, the flashlight guy quickly turned his light off, but it was too late, the ghost was already going through a very dramatic death which involved doing a part of some sort of ballet and then a long opera. Link covered his ears, trying to block out the ghost's horrible voice. This went on for about four hours, which was rather short compared to most operas. Finally the ghost disappeared, opening the large doors before he did. Medli came flying in, being chased by all of the hand things that had been in the bottomless pit of doom. "How did they get out!?" Link shouted at her as they ran around, avoiding all of the hands.

"I helped them out, duh!" Medli shouted back at him.

"Why would you do that?" Link asked, almost crying.

"Because they asked me to!" Medli said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Link finally managed to get rid of the hand monsters by throwing his bombs all over the place. Luckily for Link, there were so many of them that he didn't even have to worry about where he was throwing them. "Now, play the stupid song!" Link shouted before realizing that Medli wasn't there. "Medli? Where are you?" he asked in a small voice.

"I'm up here! I'm stuck!" Medli shouted from above him. Link looked up, but Medli didn't appear to be stuck on anything. She was simply flying around, trying to stay in one spot. "What are you stuck on?" he asked in a confused voice.

"The air!" Medli shouted.

"Oh for crying out loud! Just stop flapping your wings!" Link shouted.

"That's a stupid idea!" Medli said, but she did it anyway. A few minutes later and she was playing her song, even though she was tired of it. Before Link could start dancing along, his sword zapped him as some of its power was restored. "Ow! Stupid sword, take this!" he shouted, throwing it. The sword went flying through the air and hit Medli, who threw her harp at Link, who then threw the boomerang, but as usual he missed and the boomerang came back and hit him. In the end, the two left on very bad terms and Medli refused to stay in the temple to pray. Instead she spent the rest of Link's adventure in the bottomless pit of doom, annoying all of the hand monsters (which had magically re-appeared) with her song.

The first thing Link did when he arrived back at the beach was give Larry a big hug. "Get off! What's that for?" Larry asked in an annoyed voice.

"I missed being the annoying one in there," Link said, still hugging the boat. "You have to come next time, she was horrible!"

"Link, I'm a boat."

"Ahha! I've got you now!" Link said, releasing the boat and clapping gleefully. "You're actually a dead king!"

"Yeah, but I'm a boat right now…"

"Oh. Well fine!" Link said grumpily as he set the sail up to take them to the Wind Temple. At this temple, there was something else blocking the way inside; a strong gust of wind that even bent the trees that had somehow managed to grow in front of it. Link tried to throw a bomb at the source of this wind, but the bomb was blown back to him, much to the boy's dismay and the boat's amusement. He tried all of his other weapons, but they all failed miserably. With a small pout, Link headed back to Larry. Before he could say anything though, the same fish from before came out of nowhere and once again slapped Link in the face. " 'Hoy there small fry! I noticed you were trying to get into that temple, well you need something that'll make you weigh a ton! Where do you get such an item you ask? Um, north?" the fish, pausing as he tried to remember.

"Ok! North it is!" Link shouted as he threw the sail up and set off, not even going north but in a different direction all together. The fish sighed at him before swimming off, slightly upset that he hadn't gotten any food.

Somehow the pair made it to the island that they needed to get to. "Oh it's so cold here!" Link said, glad for once that his clothes were so warm. "I will now fight ice with ice!" Link shouted, shooting his ice arrows at the dragon head thing that was on the mountain, spewing out snow and ice.

"Link just use the fire arrows," Larry said tiredly.

"Fine," Link said, already shooting fire arrows. "But I don't see what good it'll do…" The rest of Link's thought was cut off when the mountain was instantly warmed up enough to be walked on. "Hooray! More treasure! It better be cooler than the stupid bracelets!" Link said as he started to climb up. Once he was inside the mountain he was instantly attacked by bats who were covered in ice. Link ran around and stumbled on yet another chest. "Muhahahaha!" Link shouted as he opened the chest, hoping that there was money in this one. All that was there, however, were a pair of boots that were so heavy Link could hardly lift them. "Great, a pair of shoes to go with my jewelry," Link grumbled as he stomped around in his new boots. He was just able to dodge the bats that were chasing him, since he couldn't really run in the shiny new boots.

He finally made it outside and he stomped all the way to Larry, who was wondering why Link was insisting on wearing the heavy boots when he didn't need to. "Now, back to the stupid temple, where we'll probably have to just leave again to find something else!" Link said as he set the sail up once again. They arrived back at the Wind Temple, playing their I-spy game again, and, once again, they didn't notice that they had arrived so they ended up on the beach. This time though, Link didn't bother to help Larry get unstuck and he just marched over to the rock that was blowing the strong winds and used his ugly hammer to get rid of it. "There! Now, onwards to victory!" Link shouted before he went running in, leaving Larry to try and persuade a curious crab to push him back into the water. Inside the Wind Temple, Link found that the same circumstances that had taken place in the Earth Temple were true here as well. The previous sage, who was a Kokiri this time instead of a Zora, was dead and demanded that Link go and find the new one. "This seems to be a common thing around here…" Link mumbled crossly.

"You need to find the one who carries this instrument!" the sage said, pointedly ignoring Link and showing him a weird looking violin.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Hop to it!"

"Alright fine! But I'm stealing your instrument first!" Link shouted as he tried to grab the violin. However, just like the Kokiri, the violin was also...dead. So Link ended up going right through it. "Stupid sage!" Link shouted, and went stomping back outside, still in his heavy boots.

He was surprised to see that Larry had gotten back into the water on his own; when Link asked him how he had managed this, all Larry had said was a mysterious "teehee!", so Link was left to figure it out on his own, which he never did. As they departed to the Forest Haven (which was what Larry had suggested as he was the all knowing king of Hyrule), a little crab waved happily at them before running away when a large shadow of a seagull flew over him. The mysterious seagull watched the boat sail away before heading back to the Forsaken Fortress to report where the brother of its leader was.

…Meanwhile, in the Forsaken Fortress…

"Ahhahahaha! I have complete control over the seagulls!"

"How many times are you going to say that!?" Ganondorf asked, interrupting Aryll's five hour rant about how powerful she was.

"As many times as I want to! Now go put these over the spotlights!" she commanded, handing the dark man large sheets of pink paper.

"But this will make all the lights look pink!" the evil man protested.

"That's the point you fool! I like pink!"

"I thought you hated pink…"

"Well I changed my mind, so ha! Now get moving slacker!"

"Yes ma'am." Ganondorf said sulkily before walking off with the large sheets of paper.

"Now, where is my stupid brother?" Aryll demanded of the seagull that had just landed next to her. The seagull's only response was a loud squawk. "Well that's no help at all! I need a spy who can actually talk!" she said, shooing the bird away. "Oh Ganon, get over here!" she shouted just as the lights that were swinging around turned a pink color.

"What now?" Ganondorf asked in a frustrated voice as he stomped into the room.

"I need a better spy!" Aryll said, shooting him her evilly persuasive puppy dog eyes.

"Oh fine! I've got just the thing for you!" Ganondorf said, unable to ignore the cute little girl. "Ahhahahaha! Excellent! Soon we will stop my stupid brother and get the Master Sword, then I can take over the world!"

"Don't you mean _we_ can take over the world?" Ganondorf asked anxiously.

"No. Just me. You can be my minion if you want," Aryll said.

"Ok," Ganondorf said miserably before going to mope in a corner.

…at Forest Haven…

"Here we are!" Link said happily as they glided gently closer to the shore. "I'll go find the next stupid sage so that we can have full power!" Link shouted, swinging his sword around and chopping a large plant that had been just about to eat him, in half, without even noticing. Link marched all the way to the Great Deku Tree, ignoring the muffled sounds of a violin that seemed to be coming from behind a waterfall. "Greetings Deku Tree!" Link shouted, hitting the tree with his sword in an attempt to wake it up.

"Hello Link, what do you want now?" the tree asked crossly.

Link gave a high pitched scream, "It talks! Burn the evil tree!" Link shouted and started to shoot his fire arrows at it. The tree just sighed tiredly as Link completely missed the large tree and ended up hitting everything else. "Did you need something?" the tree asked after Link had exhausted all of his arrows. "Do you know where Makar is?" Link asked as he ran around the forest to collect his arrows. "He's hiding somewhere and practicing his funny looking violin playing." the tree said patiently as Link screamed that the evil tree could talk and that he had to burn it. After awhile Link thanked the tree and went skipping back outside. Link swung from a tree branch and landed inside a small cave behind the large waterfall that was outside. "Makar, listen to this song!" Link said happily as he pulled out his wind baton. He didn't do anything for a few minutes, and Makar waited patiently the whole time. "Um, I just realized that I never learned the song… I'll be right back!" Link said as he ran back to his boat to return to the Wind Temple.

…two days later…

"Ok!" Link shouted as he re-entered the cave. "Hey Makar, listen to this song!" Link said happily as he started to wave around the wind baton. "I liked the other one better, but I guess it's ok…" Link said as the little plant guy started to play along.

"I'm the wind sage? How come I'm not the earth sage, I'm a plant for crying out loud!" Makar shouted as soon as they were finished.

"Don't ask me, it was the all knowing king of Hyrule's idea!" Link said, hiding from the scary plant.

"Oh fine, let's go!" Makar said, suddenly cheerful again.

"Yay!" Link shouted, and he picked up the new sage and tossed him into the river so he would be carried over to the boat. "Muhahahaha!" Link cackled as he ran back to the beach. The little plant guy was forced to sit on Larry's head since Link refused to move over to make room in the main part of the boat for him. They soon arrived back at the Wind Temple and the new team were soon dodging more rock rubble as the large rock slab blew up the minute Makar had finished his song. The two soon found that they had to jump down into a hole; Link let Makar go first since he didn't want to die. "If I hear you screaming in fear about monsters, then I know not to follow you!" Link said cheerfully as he gave the poor plant a shove down the hole.

Link poked his head down the hole and listened carefully. When he didn't hear anything scary, he jumped down, only to land on Makar as the little guy hadn't yet moved away. "Stupid plant, move it!" Link said, not bothering to move himself. The two finally got sorted out and they were able to examine their surroundings. "This place is confusing," Link said as they stared at the room they were in. "It's the Wind Temple, and yet there are plants everywhere… I'm confused!" Link shouted, throwing Makar in his frustration. The little sage landed on the other side of the room, right on an area of soft soil. "Hey swordsman, I can plant a tree here!" Makar said as he started to throw his collection of seeds all over the place. One of these managed to land on the soft soil and it instantly started to grow into a small tree. "Well that's a lot of help," Link said sarcastically. "Hey, now we can make paper!" Link said happily. Makar turned around to see Link running towards him with an axe that he stolen from the crazy axe guy that was just sitting in one of the corners. Makar gave out a little scream and went running away to get out of the way of the crazed swordsman. Fortunately for the new tree, Link _still_ had very little strength, so the only thing that happened was Link fell backwards the minute he hit it with his new axe. The axe broke, so Link couldn't use it anymore, much to his disappointment. Link sighed before returning the broken axe to the crazy axe guy. "Now what do we do?" Makar asked as he gazed up at the tall cliff they had to somehow climb.

"Oh oh! I've got an idea! Me me!" Link shouted, jumping up and down, his hand raised up in the air.

"Um, what is it?" Makar asked cautiously.

Link ran up to Makar and picked him up, "Fly little plant guy, fly! Carry me up there!"

"You're sort of heavy…"

"That's quitter talk! Nobody likes a quitter!" Link shouted, giving Makar a little shake to try and get him to do something of use.

"Fine," Makar muttered and started to try and pull the two of them up. After awhile they finally started to rise. They were nearly there when suddenly Link remembered something, "Hang on! I forgot my new boots!" Link said happily as he slipped them on.

"Nooooo!" Makar shouted as the added weight pulled them back down.

"Stupid Makar! You're useless!" Link said as they landed in a heap back on the ground. "I'll just use this thingy." Link said grumpily as he used his grappling hook to climb up, leaving Makar to find his own way up.

The two eventually came upon a large room that had a bottomless pit of doom just like the Earth Temple. Along this gap were little islands of land that had soft areas of soil on them. Link threw Makar towards the first of these islands so that he could start planting seeds. "While you're doing that, I'll go find the treasure!" Link shouted after the little plant guy as he recovered from the throw. Link went running through the temple, avoiding monsters and screaming really loudly to distract all of the mini-bosses. Eventually he got the hookshot, so he ditched the grappling hook and then went skipping back to where he had left Makar. Makar, who had been starting to have fun while Link was gone, was skipping around and singing his new song. His happy thoughts instantly disappeared the minute Link came in though. "Alright little plant guy, I got the treasure!" Link shouted as he started to hook onto all of the trees that Makar had planted. Eventually Link arrived on the other side of the bottomless pit of doom and the two were soon moving on. "I don't really see why the other sages died," Makar said thoughtfully, mostly to himself since Link had already told the little plant guy that he no longer wished to use his brain for the rest of the day as it was too hard. "I mean, what if _I _die? I don't want to die!" Makar was just starting to panic about this new idea when he crashed into Link, who had stopped short and was now staring blankly into space. "Link, you have to use your brain a little more than that!" Makar shouted at the boy, flying upwards so he could give Link a good slap on the face.

"Ow! Stupid plant thing! Where are we?" Link shouted.

"In the Wind Temple…" Makar said tiredly.

"Right, onwards to victory!" Link said as he marched off in completely the wrong direction. Makar sighed as he waited for Link to realize this, which didn't happen until a few minutes later. Finally, they were headed in the proper direction, and they soon arrived in a room that had three small, spiky blocks sliding back and forth. To make matters worse, there was a strong gust of wind keeping them from running past these blocks. "Now what?" Link asked the sage, who shrugged, but since he didn't have shoulders, he didn't really do anything.

Link gave a disgusted sigh before picking Makar up and throwing him towards the door that was at the other end of the room. "Go Makar go!" Link shouted, and then laughed happily when Makar came flying back the minute he hit the strong winds. "Do it again!" Link said, clapping happily before throwing Makar again.

"Would you stop that!" Makar shouted as he hid behind a large block that was just sitting there. "Fine," Link said grumpily. "Well, there's only one way to get to the other side!" Link said after awhile.

"I was thinking the same thing! We use these blocks to-" but before the sage could finish Link had grabbed him and was running as fast as he could in his heavy boots. "Oh boy," Makar said nervously as they approached the first spiky block.

"Here we go!" Link shouted cheerfully, only to be hit by the block. He dropped Makar in surprise, sending the little guy all the way back to where they had started. "Stupid plant, get over here!" Link shouted. "Oh forget it, I'll just go without you!" Link said as he watched Makar try to fight the wind and make it to where Link was. Link stomped heavily across the rest of the room, getting hit repeatedly by the blocks. Finally he made it across, only to be blocked by a large slab of rock with arrows on it. "Darn! Makar, I need you! Get over here!" Link shouted.

Somehow Link managed to get the little plant guy across without using the blocks that were there, intended to block the spiky things. "Now, play the song so I can leave!" Link said, sitting down in the grass as he waited. The large rock blew up, this time hitting only Link, as if it had taken pity on the tiny sage. "Stupid rock! I hate rocks!" Link shouted as he stomped inside. A few minutes later and he found himself separated from Makar as, once again, a large door came slamming down behind him. "Are you alright swordsman?" Makar's voice could be heard from the other side.

"I'm fine, stupid plant!" Link turned around to face a giant worm that was staring angrily at him. "Never mind, I'm not fine," Link said before starting his usual tactic (running around and screaming). Finally Link realized that there wasn't going to be a heroic flashlight man that would rescue him this time, so Link decided that he would actually fight this time. Before he could though, the worm started to choke on a large pile of sand. "Aw man, the one time I try to fight!" Link shouted at the worm as it sunk back into the deep sand.

The large doors opened and Makar came running in. He started to play his song before Link even told him to, and soon after Link received yet another painful zap from his sword. "Stupid sword, take that!" Link shouted as he threw it. The sword hit Makar, who then threw his violin at Link, who threw his boomerang, but, as usual, missed his target and got hit instead as the weapon came flying back. Once again Link left Makar on terrible terms, so the little plant refused to stay behind and pray and he went running around the temple to plant his little trees everywhere throughout the rest of Link's adventure.

…Meanwhile, back in the Forsaken Fortress…

"Ahhahahaha, I have complete control over the-"

"Oh shut up already!" Ganondorf shouted, his patience finally gone. He nearly screamed a few seconds later, though, as Aryll shot him an angry glare. "Sorry," he said quickly.

"Fine," Aryll said crossly. "How come your stupid spy didn't work?"

"It's not my fault he choked on the stupid sand!" Ganondorf protested.

"That does it! I'm getting my own spy, and I know just the person," Aryll said, a large grin forming on her face.

* * *

I bet you're all wondering who this spy is... well I'm not telling you, because I don't even know yet myself! Muhahahaha!

Um, anyway... thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello again! To sakurahanaalice: Using the fish as a spy is a good idea, I didn't even consider him! Unfortunately, Aryll is biased against fish. Ganondorf liked the idea too, but he's to scared to go against Aryll's wishes... oh well.

Anyway, here's the final chapter!

* * *

Chapter 6

The Final Battle and Super-Ultra Ray Guns

"Link, pay attention, this is kind of important!" The frustrated voice of Larry could be heard across the wide, empty ocean.

"But this is a boring story!" Link protested.

"I don't care, now shush!"

"Oh fine!"

"Now, now that we have restored power to the Master Sword-"

"Hey, what's this _we_ thing? I did all the work!" Link shouted, but the only response he got was an impatient glare from his boat.

"Now that _we _have restored power to the Master Sword, we have to collect the pieces of the Triforce of Courage!"

"Where did all this come from?!" Link asked as he tried to remember whether or not he had missed something during his adventure.

"We need it to get back to Hyrule," the boat said as he rammed into a stray barrel since Link had stopped paying attention to where they were going a long time ago. "I'm confused," Link said sadly as he corrected their course.

"You're always confused, now, we need to find someone who knows where to find the charts that lead to the Triforce pieces."

"Oh oh, I've got an idea!" Link shouted happily. "We should head back to Windfall!" he said. And not even bothering to wait for Larry to say anything, he changed their direction so they were heading back to the previously mentioned island. "I really don't see what good that'll do…" Larry said.

"That's why I'm the hero and you're just the sidekick!" Link said cheerfully, ignoring the look that his friend shot him.

They arrived at Windfall just as the sun was setting. Link jumped off of his boat before they had even stopped, leaving Larry to drift into the dock and bump into it several times before he finally came to a stop. Meanwhile, Link was running around town, throwing pots at random people along the street. After awhile of doing this, Link remembered about the shiny pots in that one man's house. Curious to see if there was now money in these pots, Link went barging in without a second thought. "Hello young man, yes yes, welcome to the auction house!" the man in the blue coat shouted over at Link the minute he entered.

"What are you doing _now_?" Link asked, looking around for the pots.

"I have set up an auction house here, here people bid on things that they would like to buy!" the man explained as Link ran around, throwing the pots into the wall.

"What do you sell?" Link asked curiously, finally settling down.

"Many things! Today, we have a shiny triangle piece that someone found under the water!" the man said.

"A triangle?! You mean the Triforce? Someone found it already?" Link shouted as he tried to see behind the man.

"You will join today's auction then?" the man asked cheerfully.

"Sure, why not," Link said, sitting down on the floor.

"Ok then! Just raise your hand when you want to make a bet!" the man said as other people began to enter the room. "Today's item, ladies and gentlemen, is none other than the Triforce of Courage!" the man said after everyone had found a place to sit.

A large, dark man started to laugh, "Excellent, soon the Triforce will be mine!" he shouted.

"Ganondorf! What are you doing here?" Link shouted.

"Your sister sent me to get her a joy pendant, but this item is much better!" Ganondorf explained.

"Well you can't have it! I was here first!" Link shouted.

"Oh, ok," Ganondorf said forlornly before trudging back outside.

"Yes yes, no more talking now!" the blue coat man said. "Now, shall we set the bid at… five rupees!"

"Five rupees!? Are you crazy?" Link shouted. "That's so expensive!"

Suddenly a woman shouted out that she would pay ten. Link gasped, "But I want it! I'll do four!"

"No no young man, you must bid _higher_ than the other bids!"

"Um, four?"

"Higher!"

"Four is higher! It's right next to number one, which is what I am!" Link argued.

"This kid is hopeless, we're out of here!" said one of the men. The other people agreed with him and everyone left, much to the dismay of the blue coat man.

"Now look at what you have done! You have scared away all of my potential customers! Well, I guess you got the Triforceat just four rupees," the man said sadly, wrapping up the golden triangle in a sheet of paper. "Four rupees!? Are you crazy? That's so expensive!" Link shouted.

"But that is what you bid for it…" the man said in a confused voice.

"I'll just steal it! Muhahahaha!" Link shouted. He grabbed the piece of Triforce and went running outside, only to come back a few seconds later. "Um, can I have some bubble wrap?" Link asked.

"Sure! Now will you pay the rupees you owe me?" the man asked as he handed over a sheet of the requested item.

"Never!" Link shouted, and he went running back outside, laughing loudly. After he had gotten a fair distance away from the auction house, Link started to jump around on the sheet of bubble wrap, clapping happily every time one of the bubbles popped.

After doing this for a good ten minutes, Link went running back to the auction house, where the man was just getting ready to close. "I have an item I want to sell!" Link said happily. "Really? Let me see!" the man said as Link handed him the Triforce piece. "Well well, this is a nice thing, yes?"

"I guess…"

"We will auction it off for lots of money! Yes we will indeed!"

"Yay!" Link said, clapping as the man stuck the triangle on a pedestal. Out of nowhere all of the people that had been there before came running in, almost as if they could sense when something was being sold. "We will start this auction at… ten rupees!" the man said.

"What?! That's so expensive!" Link protested.

"It is your auction young man, you will get most of the money!" the blue coat man said in a frustrated voice.

"Really? I love money!" Link shouted happily. His grin slowly widened as the people kept bidding higher and higher. Finally they reached one hundred rupees, and just as someone was about to bid higher Link grabbed the Triforce and shouted "Sold!"

"No no young man, we could have gotten much more!" the blue coat man said, pulling his little pigtails in his distress.

"I just want one hundred though, it's a nice number," Link said as the sailor that had won the auction paid Link the amount that had been agreed on while the other people went back to their homes, grumbling to themselves.

"Well, where's my Triforce piece?" the sailor asked as Link slowly counted out his money. "One, two, three… uh, what's next? Let me start over!"

"Here it is, yes yes, come again please!" the blue coat man said. He was just about to hand the golden triangle to the sailor when suddenly Link noticed what was going on, "Hey, that's mine! I won it in the other auction!" the boy protested.

"…But you sold it in this one," the man said, the Triforce still in his hand and the sailor desperately trying to grab it. "You got one hundred rupees for it."

"Yay! Money!" Link said happily, pouring his rupees into his wallet. "Hey, that's mine!" Link shouted as he saw the sailor walking away with the Triforce.

"I won it you fool!" the sailor shouted. But Link was already running towards the large man. The boy grabbed the triangle from the sailor before running off, cackling happily. "Hey, he stole my triangle thing!" the sailor shouted, but all the blue coat man could do was give a helpless shrug before starting another auction, "The joy pendant!"

"I want it!" the sailor shouted at the same time as Ganondorf, who had suddenly appeared.

The evil king turned slowly to face the sailor, "I said, _I _wanted it!"

"Um, you can have it!" the sailor said, and went running off, following the same path Link had taken.

Meanwhile, Link was showing off the Triforce, and all of the money he had gotten, to Larry, who was trying to act interested. "That's great Link, we should head back to Hyrule now, we need to see how Zelda is doing," Larry said after awhile. However Link wasn't paying any attention to the old king as he tried to figure out how to count all of his money. "One, two, three…um, four! Four! Um… what's next? Let me start over!" Link said happily.

"Oh for goodness sake! Just hop aboard, we need to get moving!" Larry shouted.

"Alright, calm down Larry. I'll count it on the way!" Link said as he leaped into his usual spot. Before they could head off though, the two could just make out the little pitter-patter of little feet coming towards them. "Who's that?" Link asked as a small form appeared in the darkness.

"Hi Link, I've been hired to spy on you!" said the voice of the creepy booger kid from Outset Island.

"How did you get here?!" Link shouted, trying to hide behind his bulging wallet.

"Duh, I took a boat! So, where are you heading?"

"Oh I'm just headed back to Hyrule, I've got the Triforce of Courage!" Link said happily before Larry could stop him.

"You fool! You just told the enemy where we are going!"

"I did?"

"Muhahahaha, I'll be sure to report this to Aryll!" the booger kid said before running off.

"Oops," Link said.

Larry sighed tiredly, "Let's just go."

…Meanwhile, in the Forsaken Fortress…

"Ahhahaha, I have complete control over the seagulls!" Ganondorf's mocking voice could be heard all the way outside of the giant tower. "You just never shut up do you!"

"Nope!" Aryll said, still glaring at her partner in world domination.

"When is your spy going to get here anyway? We need to know where they are headed!"

"He'll be here eventually. You need to learn how to be patient!" Just as Aryll was saying this, the creepy little booger kid from Outset Island came running in. "Here he is!" Aryll said happily as Ganondorf shuddered in revulsion. "He scares me," Ganondorf said quietly while Aryll demanded the creepy kid's report.

"Um, he's headed to some place called Old Hyrule," the small boy said.

"Excellent! Ganondorf, prepare a trap for our friend! And hurry up!"

"Why are we setting up a trap for a friend?" Ganondorf asked in a confused voice.

Aryll gave a disgusted sigh, "I was being sarcastic, sort of. Just set up a trap to stop Link from getting any further!"

"Ok!" Ganondorf went skipping off (he had spent too much time with Aryll).

"Can I have my reward now?" asked the creepy little kid. "You promised me ten rupees."

Aryll scowled at him, "Shut up Zill! Here, take this!" she shouted and she threw the little boy into the ocean.

"Ok, thanks!" Zill shouted back.

"Ahhahahahaha!"

…At the Tower of the Gods…

The sun was just rising when they arrived back at the Tower of the Gods. Link had made it as far as ten rupees before he had to giveup and wave his Triforce piece around so that they could go back underwater. As he was doing this a small triangle started to glow on the back of his hand. "Noooo, it's going inside of me! Get it out, get it out!" Link shouted as he threw the Triforce piece into the ocean.

"Link no! You lost the Triforce of Courage!" Larry shouted.

"Oops."

"Now we have to find it! Get out your grappling hook."

"Never!"

"Link!"

"Oh fine… um, I don't have it…"

"What do you mean?!"

"I got rid of it when I got this!" Link said cheerfully as he pulled out his hookshot. "It's better!" he said as Larry sighed.

"Now how are we going to get it back?" Larry asked as he tried to see through the sparkling blue water.

"Oh oh, I've got an idea! Me me me!" Link shouted, jumping up and down.

"Yes?" the boat asked hesitantly.

"Um… I forgot what I was going to say," Link said with a smile.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Larry was about to reprimand Link some more when suddenly a small boat with four people wearing strange, large hats came into view. "What's up bub?" said the tallest of the group.

"Um, the sky?" Link answered the strange man's question.

"You know what, I feel like I've known you my whole life!" the man said.

"…Ok," Link said, trying to ignore the man as he peered into the water as well.

"Did you lose something guy?" the man asked suddenly after watching Link for awhile.

"I lost the Triforce of Courage and now I can't get into Old Hyrule; and I got lots of money!" Link said happily.

"Hey, we have a grappling hook!" The man said.

"Really?" Link asked, sitting up to get a better look at the boat that was bobbing alongside his. "I'll take it!" Link shouted just as the man was offering to help. Link jumped aboard the other man's ship and grabbed the grappling hook before setting it up on Larry. "Muhahahaha!" Link shouted as he fished the Triforce out of the water.

"Ok, but give it back when you're done!" the man said cheerfully as his group waited patiently for Link to get his missing item back. Finally Link got it out and he was soon waving the golden triangle around again, trying to get the circle of light to come back. A few seconds later and it suddenly appeared, much to the amazement of the other boat and its crew. "So long losers!" Link shouted as he started to sink underwater.

"Hey, what about our grappling hook?" the man shouted after him, but Link had already disappeared under the ocean, cackling madly.

"Oh well, we'll just have to find another one," the man said sadly before going on their way.

After Link awoke from passing out from lack of oxygen (he had once again held his breath the whole way down), he found himself to be back in the air bubble where the large castle resided. "Ahha! We made it!" Link shouted happily.

"Go check on Zelda!" Larry said impatiently.

"Never!" Link shouted before he went running off to check on Zelda. When he arrived he found the statue of himself to no longer be blocking the stairs that led into the basement. "Darn, she got out!" Link said with a pout as he started to lookaround for Tetra/Zelda. Not finding her in the immediate area, Link gave a shrug and made his way down the stairs. "Oh Tetra, where are you?" Link asked in a sing-songy voice. "There you are!" he shouted when he finally spotted her. The princess was standing in the same spot where he had left her, and she appeared to be frozen in place. This, however, was completely ignored by Link as he went running around, shouting out his story of what had happened after he had left her. After awhile Link noticed that she wasn't responding, so he turned around and watched as Tetra, who was glaring angrily at him for not noticing something was wrong sooner, began to glow blindingly bright before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. "Where are you going? I haven't finished my story yet!" Link shouted at the spot where she had previously stood.

Suddenly Ganondorf's voice could be heard drifting over to the boy, "You didn't think that this place was actually safe, did you?" he asked.

"Not really, but Larry did!" Link said cheerfully.

"And before you start talking a mile a minute, you should know that this is just a recording so I can't actually hear you!" Ganondorf said. Link gasped before crossing his arms and pouting, "Fine!" he shouted.

"Now, I've taken Princess Zelda to my tower and I-"

"You mean _my_tower, right?" the voice of Aryll could be heard.

"Fine!" Ganondorf shouted. "I've taken Zelda to Empress Aryll's tower."

"Ahhahahahahaha! I have complete control over the seagulls!"

Link sighed at his sister's high energy level.

"Now! You have fallen into my genius trap and- ow! Fine! You have fallen into Aryll's genius trap and you will now fall into a deep slumber! Gwahahahahaha!" As Ganondorf's voice faded away a large cloud of dust came falling on top of Link, who started sneezing incessantly. "I don't see how that was a trap, but whatever…" Link said before he went running off to report to Larry.

…Meanwhile, in the Forsaken Fortress…

"What the heck was that!?" Aryll shouted at Ganondorf, who was trying to hide behind his phantom, who was just spinning around and shouting out how much he liked pie. "Um, it was sleeping powder…" Ganondorf said, trailing off lamely.

"That was dust you idiot! How is dust supposed to stop him?!"

"Um, it puts me to sleep," Ganondorf said fearfully.

"That's because you're deathly allergic to it! Link isn't!"

"Oh."

"Well that's just great, now we have to go to Old Hyrule! You!" Aryll pointed a small finger at poor Ganondorf. "Go to your tower and wait for Link there!"

"What are you going to do?"

"Me? I'm going to have a tea party!" Aryll said, her voice suddenly reverting to a sweet little girl's. Ganondorf sighed miserably before marching towards his tower.

…Back at Old Hyrule…

"What do you mean she disappeared?" Larry asked urgently. It had taken Link forever before he had finally gotten to the point, as he had decided that the only way to explain Zelda's sudden disappearance was by telling Larry his whole life's story. "You want me to start over? I think I skipped a few parts…" Link said.

"No!" Larry shouted. "I mean, that's ok. I get the gist of it. You need to get to Ganondorf's tower before he steals the Triforce of Wisdom!"

"But I don't want to saveTetra, she's scary! I think we should save me, I have a piece of the Triforce too after all! What say you?"

"No."

"Well fine!"

"You will be able to get through the force shield this time, now that you have restored the Master Sword's power," Larry said.

"Ok! How do I get rid of the shield?"

"What?"

"You use the sword you fool!"

"Got it! So long loser!" Link shouted as he went running back inside. Along the way he decided that since no one lived there any more, it wouldn't hurt to 'borrow' a few things. Unfortunately for Link, there wasn't really much to steal. He grabbed the two large pictures that he had previously drawn on during his first visit, and a few banners that were hanging on the walls. In just a few minutes Link was laden down with all of the movable items that had been in the castle.

Larry could just make out the green clad boy, moving up the path with his arms filled with all of his new items. "He can't possibly mean to carry all that junk to the tower!" Larry said. He watched as Link dropped his stuff long enough to spin around with his sword to get rid of the barrier. "Yep, that's what he's doing," Larry mumbled to himself as Link retrieved all of the items and went running towards the large dark tower, hardly able to see above the large pile of stuff.

Link finally made it to the entrance of the tower, however he couldn't get there as the bridge leading up to it had fallen. From somewhere in the tower Link could just make out Ganondorf's evil laugh, "Gwahahaha, you can't come in!"

Link shrugged and used his hookshot to get across.

"Noooooo! Fine, you can come in, but you'll never get to where I am! Gwahahahaha!" Link ran through a gloomy hallway, all of his stuff still in his arms, and into a large room that had lava in it. There were four bridges here, and each one led over the lava and to a door. Link dropped his pile of goodies in the middle of the floor before examining these doors to figure out which one to go through first. He finally ended up flipping a coin (or rupee), even though there were four doors and not two. But Link's mind worked differently, and he was soon decided on the door that had a dragon picture on it. Link had to climb around inside this room to get to the next door. He eventually made it, and he soon found himself face to face with a large and scary bug. "Oh my gosh! It's ugly!" Link shouted.

"Well now you've just hurt my feelings! I'm out of this dump!" the bug shouted back before blowing up.

"Huh," was all Link could say before he was suddenly warped back to the main room with the lava. Link then went through the door that had thick vines covered in thorns climbing near it.

After awhile Link found the large plant thing that had tried to eat him when he had been trying to find Makar in order to get the pearl. Link sighed and threw his boomerang, aiming away from the plant so that he would hit it. The plant, who had just started its attacks, was severed from the ceiling for the second time. Before Link could even celebrate his victory, he was warped, yet again, back to the main room. "Stupid crazy warping guy! Quit it!" Link shouted into the empty room. He could just make out a quiet snickering before the room went back to its silent state. Link marched unhappily into the next room, whose door was decorated with skulls, something that freaked Link out very much. He eventually found himself facing the giant ghost that he had fought in the Earth Temple; but with the help of the crazy flashlight guy, Link quickly defeated the ghost. As it started its dramatic death yet again, Medli came flying in out of nowhere. "Um, are you the nice one or the psycho one?" Link asked hesitantly. He sighed when Medli started to fly around the dancing, singing ghost, hitting him with her mini harp. "Yep, she's the psycho one," Link said sadly, right before he was warped back to the main room.

By this time, most of the things Link had stolen had been ruined, as the crazy warping guy insisted on making Link land on the large pile each time. "I can't use any of this stuff anymore!" Link shouted as he dumped his pile into the lava (though what he had been intending to use them for in the first place was still a mystery). "Now, last door!" Link said and he went through a door that was actually rather nicely decorated compared to the others. After running around in this room so he could get to the next door, Link found himself directly in front of the large worm from the Wind Temple, who promptly started to choke on a large pile of sand in his excitement to get to Link. After being warped yet again to the main room, Link turned around to see a brand new hallway appear, leading to a long flight of stairs. After Link had ran up these, somehow avoiding the enemies that were there along the way, Link arrived in a large, dark room. This room had two doors and a large wall made of bricks with a picture of Ganon on it.

Link flipped his rupee again to decide which of the two doors he should take; he ended up taking the right-hand one. Inside this room were four torches that started to light randomly, and a bottomless pit of doom. Link, who hadn't even noticed the torches, was about to head back when he suddenly tripped on a mouse who was trying to say hello, and he fell down into the bottomless pit of doom, which turned out to not be bottomless after all. Link landed in a room that had two doors in it and one of Ganondorf's phantoms. After Link had thrown the phantom's tennis ball back at him, the phantom disappeared, pointing to one of the doors before he went. Link went through this door, only to find the same phantom in the next room, laughing loudly. "You fell for my genius trap! Now we will play another game of tennis!"

"Yeah, whatever," Link said, right before the tennis ball hit him. Link tossed it back, hitting the phantom, who then disappeared, pointing to yet another door. Link, who wasn't falling for the same trick again, went through the other door and found himself in a very foggy room that held a finely decorated chest in the very middle of it. Link marched over to this chest, for some reason thinking that the Triforce of Wisdom would be in it and then he would be super smart _and_ courageous. The only thing he got though was a single light arrow. "Why don't these places have anything good?" Link shouted before marching through another door, only to end up back at the room with the brick wall. "How did I get up here? I fell!" Link asked in a confused voice, right before Ganondorf's phantom appeared yet again. "You again!? Take this!" Link shouted as the ghost started to shout about how much it liked tennis. Link shot his light arrow at the phantom, causing him to explode in a burst of light.

Link began to cackle maniacally as he threw the phantom's tennis ball at the large brick wall. The wall, which had a picture of Ganon on it, blew up as well, hitting Link in the head with all of the bricks that had gone flying. After Link had recovered from this, he went running through the opening and up a long flight of stairs. Along the way he had to run past a whole bunch of monsters, so by the time he arrived at the room where Ganondorf was, he had a whole army of people behind him trying to kill him. Fortunately, Ganondorf only allowed one person at a time into the large room, so his army had to wait until he was done fighting Link before they could come in to kill him. "Hiya Ganondorf! I am Link, Wind Waker!" Link shouted, raising the Master Sword in what he hoped looked like a majestic pose.

"The Wind Waker is the name of the stick you moron!" Ganondorf shouted at Link, who was looking around for Zelda (somehow he completely missed the large bed where Zelda was sleeping). "Really? I thought it was just the wind baton!"

"No, it's the Wind Waker, now can we please move on!"

"Fine!"

"Now, you are too late Link, soon I will have the Triforce of Wisdom for myself! Gwahahahaha!"

Link yawned loudly before he finally noticed Tetra/Zelda in the middle of the room. "Oh hey look, there you are!" Link shouted, waving at poor Zelda who was trying to tell him something important. Link ignored her though, as he started to tell his whole life's story to the young girl, much to both her dismay and Ganondorf's. "Shut up!" Zelda finally shouted at him. Link gasped and then started to pout. "Zelda is so mean!" he grumbled to himself. By this time Ganondorf had made Zelda disappear, which made Link cheer as he didn't care much for her anyway.

"Now, Hero of the Winds, don't let me down!" Ganondorf said as he suddenly started to transform into a giant puppet.

"Oooo, Hero of the Winds, I like that one!" Link said happily. "Oh hey look, a puppet!" Link shouted right before he grabbed the large strings and started to do a puppet show. "Ok, puppet, not a good idea," Ganondorf mumbled as Link forced him to start tap dancing. "Alright that's enough!" the evil king shouted, causing Link to drop his new toy in alarm. "I'm out of here!" Ganondorf shouted before he went flying upwards, towards the roof of his tower.

"Bye!" Link shouted after him, waving happily. Link would have gone straight back to Larry, had the only door not have been locked. Link sighed and started to climb after Ganondorf, hoping that there was a way to get down once he got outside.

Once he arrived outside, he found Ganondorf and Tetra/Zelda to be arguing. "Give me the Triforce of Wisdom!" Ganondorf demanded.

"No!" Zelda shouted at him.

"Please?"

"Well… since you said please," Zelda said as she handed him the small golden triangle.

"Yes! Gwahahahaha! It's all mine!"

"What do you say?" Zelda asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Um, thank you," Ganondorf said meekly. "Now, Gwahahahaha! It's all mine! Now I am super smart!"

"Noooooo, I wanted to be super smart!" Link shouted, running up to the pair.

"Ganondorf asked first Link," Zelda said as Ganondorf stuck his tongue out at Link.

"Oh fine! Take this!" Link shouted as he hit Zelda over the head with his shield. "Now, give me the Triforce of Wisdom!" the boy shouted at Ganondorf as Zelda fell into unconsciousness.

"Never!" Ganondorf shouted back.

"Please?"

"No!"

"Then we shall duel for it!" Link said, suddenly slapping Ganondorfacross the face with a glove he had 'borrowed' from Zelda.

"Fine!" Ganondorf said right before he slapped Link back.

"Ow! Fine, you win!" Link said, rubbing his face.

"Gwahahahaha! I win!"

Link threw his Master Sword in his frustration, only to wince when it landed rather close to Zelda, who woke up at this exact moment.

"My hair!" she shouted. Link's sword had accidentally shortened Zelda's long, golden hair.

Meanwhile, way above the trio, Aryll was watching with a bored expression. "Never mess with a girl's hair; my brother is so stupid," she said, laughing out loud when Zelda started to slap Link while Ganondorf cowered on the other side of the roof.

"Sorry! But none of this would've happened if you had just given _me_the Triforce of Wisdom!" Link shouted the minute Zelda finally stopped slapping him. The young girl glared at him before turning on Ganondorf, "You, this is all you fault!" She shouted, pointing at her short hair.

"What did I do?" Ganondorf asked.

"If you had just let Link win, none of this would've happened!"

"It's not my fault he threw the sword!"

"Yes it is!" Link shouted from behind Zelda.

"Oh fine, take it back, it's not worth it!" Ganondorf said, throwing the piece of Triforce back at Zelda. Link pushed the princess out of the way and grabbed it, cackling happily. "Muhahahaha, it's all mine!" he shouted.

"Link, give it back!" Zelda said angrily.

"Never!" Link was just about to jump off of the tall tower, and probably fall to his death, when suddenly the king of Hyrule appeared from nowhere. "Larry, what are you doing here?" Link asked.

"Oh darn, you guys didn't join all of the Triforce pieces together yet? I wanted to make my wish!" Larry shouted, stomping his foot.

"Ahha! I knew there was something fishy about that boat/king thing! Didn't I tell you?" Zelda asked Ganondorf.

"Yes, several times," the evil king said tiredly.

"He just wanted the Triforce for himself!" Zelda shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Larry.

"No I didn't!" Larry protested at the same time that Ganondorf shouted out, "I knew it!"

"Wait a minute, everybody stop!" Link said suddenly. Everyone froze, even the seagull that had been in mid-flight. "You can make a wish once the Triforce is put together?" Link asked.

"Duh!" Everyone else shouted at him before going back to their bickering.

While the three ignored Link and fought out who was really the badguy here, Link slowly started to sneak towards Ganondorf, whose back was turned to the boy, as he pointed out that Zelda had been the one to have given up her Triforce piece so willingly. "I didn't do it so that I could get all the pieces together!" Zelda snapped. "I did it so that you wouldn't kill me! You're the one who kidnapped me in the first place!"

"I didn't kidnap you! I kidnapped… her…"

"Who?" Larry asked.

"Her! Her! Leave me alone!" Ganondorf shouted, starting to run away only to ram into Link, who had been trying to grab the Triforce of Power from the man. "What do you want?" Ganondorf asked while Larry and Zelda started to accuse each other of acting suspicious the whole time. "Um, your Triforce piece?" Link asked uncertainly.

"Yeah sure, here you go," Ganondorf said carelessly, tossing his triangle to the boy.

"Yes! Now I can make a wish!" Link shouted, making everyone else's attention turn to him.

"He's got the Triforce, get him!" Zelda shouted. Link gave a high pitched scream before running away from the mob that was after him. As he ran around the very edge of the tower, he tried to stick the three pieces together so he could make his wish.

He eventually managed to get them to stay together, and then they suddenly started to glow, making everyone stop running to stare in awe at the shiny Triforce. "It's so pretty!" Ganondorf said, wiping a tear from his eye. Finally the Triforce was complete, and after a few seconds everyone made a lunge to grab it.

"Who grabbed it first?" Zelda asked as she stared at all the other hands that were next to hers.

"I'm not sure, let's just all make a wish and see whose comes true!" Ganondorf said. "I'll go first, I wish I had a pretty princess pony!"

"…That's all you wanted after all this time?" Zelda asked. She gave a disgusted sigh when the evil king nodded happily. "My turn! I wish that I had a super-ultra ray gun! Muhahahaha!" the princess shouted. Everyone stared at her with worried expressions.

"Oh oh, can I go next?" Link asked excitedly.

"Sure, go ahead," Zelda said, examining the nails of her hand that wasn't touching the Triforce.

"Ok! I wish that I had lots and lots of money, and a limited supply of soup! No wait, I mean an unlimited supply of-"

"Too late! My turn!" Larry shouted. "I wish that this whole place would become flooded, destroying all of my enemies so that I can take over the- uh, I mean, save the world! Gwahahahaha!"

"Oh that's a good one," Zelda said while Ganondorf mumbled that that would've been his second wish.

"How long do we have to wait before we know who grabbed it first?" Larry asked.

"How should I know?" Zelda snapped. Just after she said this the whole tower began to suddenly shake.

"Alright, who secretly wished for an earthquake?" Link asked.

"That's not an earthquake you fool!" Ganondorf shouted as it suddenly started to rain. "It's a giant flood!"

"Stupid Larry! Why couldn't you make a normal wish like me and Ganondorf!" Link shouted at the king, who was starting to laugh loudly.

"Mine was normal!" Zelda protested suddenly as the water started to pour down harder.

"Wishing for a super-ultra ray gun is _not _normal! What is a ray gun anyway!?" Ganondorf argued as Link started to run around, looking for his boat as the water slowly began to rise below them. "I don't know, but it sounded cool!" Zelda shouted over a loud peal of thunder.

"Guys, we can talk about this later!" Link shouted. "How do we get back to the surface?" The boy turned to Larry, who was still laughing. "Larry, do something!" Link shouted, slapping the king in the face. "How dare you! Take this!" Larry shouted and he put both Link and Zelda into large air bubbles.

"Hey, I want a bubble too!" Ganondorf shouted as the two kids started to float up towards the surface.

"No bubble for you!" Larry shouted with an evil laugh.

"Darn!" Ganondorf shouted as Zelda and Link finally broke through the surface of the water.

"Now what?" Link asked calmly as Zelda started to splutter around in the ocean.

"I can't swim!" she shouted.

"What kind of pirate are you? Hey wait a minute… I can't swim either!" Link shouted. "Save me!" he said as he grabbed onto Zelda, who was now back in her pirate clothes (she had somehow gotten them back). "Get off of me!" Zelda shouted as Link's extra weight caused her to sink back under the water.

"Save me!" Link shouted again, just as Zelda's large pirate ship started to approach them. " 'Hoy there Captain!" shouted the big stupid pirate. "Don't worry, we'll get you out of there!" Just as he finished saying that the two kids started to sink. "Hey, where did they go? Oh well, back to Windfall!"

…epilogue…

It had taken awhile, but the pirates finally found Link and Zelda again. After they had fished them out, Link had gone running up to the crow's nest so he could jump down, shredding the sails as he went with his Master Sword; and Zelda had commanded the entire crew to start inventing stuff so she could get her super-ultra ray gun. Link decided that he really wanted to be a pirate after all, and so he ended up staying on Zelda's ship, trying to create a light bulb so that they could make a laser next.

The villagers of Outset Island continued staying brainless, and they had demolished Link's grandmother's house because of the stupid fairy that refused to leave through the door. The villagers of Windfall Island sort of just left after awhile; since they had never figured out how to get their lighthouse going, all of the merchants that tried to get there ended up crashing into the rocks, so Windfall never got any food.

Aryll spent the rest of her life living up in the clouds (how she managed to do this nobody knows), making plans on taking over the world but never really doing any of them; she blamed this on her naturally lazy state, and not having any minions to do her bidding.

Larry and Ganondorf disappeared, but rumors started to spread about two strange people camping out at auction houses, trying to find the Master Sword that Link would most likely sell after awhile.

Everyone completely forgot about the two sages that were still in the Earth and Wind Temples, annoying the hand monsters and planting little trees everywhere. The two finally got bored, and so they switched places since it made more sense the other way around anyway. This completely messed up the Master Sword, however, and so Link sold it as it kept zapping him whenever he tried to pick it up. Larry and Ganondorf missed that auction though, since they had been attending a birthday party for a little kid that day (free cake!), and so a random sailor ended up buying it for one rupee, since it was number one just like Link.

The End

* * *

Well, that's it! Thank you all for reading and for reviewing! Oh, and I also don't own My Little Pony (which was what Ganondorf had been wishing for). Anyway, bye for now!


	7. Author's notes

I'm glad you all enjoyed the story so much :-D

Yes, I will be making another story later on, but I don't think it will be a Phantom Hourglass one, sorry. I haven't finished the game yet myself so I don't really know how the original story goes. I'm considering doing an Ocarina of Time next, but it will be awhile as I need to get the details of the characters down (you know, like how Link will act, and Zelda, and all that stuff, oh and I should probably think of a title for it as well…). I haven't even figured out whether or not to make Link a mute in this one or not, so, yeah… I _might _have something by next week to post, but I won't promise anything for fear of waking up one morning and finding an angry mob of people outside my door, lol.

Anyway, again, thank you all for reading and/or reviewing, you guys are the best! If I could, I'd send you all cookies, but since I can't (and since my baking skills are horrible anyway), you'll just have to make them yourself and then just pretend I sent them to you… so, you're welcome! :-)


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